Gamesmanship

One of the dirty little secrets they don't tell you about in school is about the recruiter. Yes, 97-99% of them are professional, work hard and are ethical.

But that one to three percent are real pieces of work.

They call you and ask the basic questions to qualify you for the 'requirement.' 'Requirement.' It's a job listing, job ad or job order. It includes a list of requirements. Arrgh!

Anyway, the Level One Recruiter (like the Level One Help Desk Analyst whom we all hate) then tosses your resume over to the "Account Manager." This is a sales job, not a management gig. Like the fact that everyone who works in a gas station or movie theater is an Assistant Manager.

This Account Manager thinks s/he knows exactly what the client (i.e. the company and people for which you might be working) wants. Usually wrong, but OK, they have the contact or prime vendor account and I don't.

Every once in a while, s/he wants you to 'tweak" your resume.

I'm all for writing to your audience (second rule of writing) but a few times in the last several weeks, these "tweaks" included:

• Changing 'Senior Business Analyst' to "Senior Business Architect." Now, I did it because I figured this was HR title inflation. I sent the resume back and the Account Manager immediately responded- "Can I turn Technical Writer into Business Architect/Technical Writer?" I said, "Hell yes." I thought the person who designed and build a business was the owner or the sales manager. I've never heard of a Business Architect. The 'requirement' read exactly like a Senior Business Analyst's role. I thought he was kidding. Even though I was a good boy and was biting my tongue through the entire process, didn't even get a phone screen.
  
• Bringing out the fact that I've managed people. Which I have and expect to do again. In radio news, my highest number of reports was 35 (all news radio station), but I've always been on small teams full of really smart people. Anyone familiar with software development will tell you the BA typically acts as the Deputy, Associate, Assistant Project Manager. How do you bring that one out in a resume without it turning into a Vitae (a book length listing of every time you walked your boss's dog, the number of Cleanest Cubicle awards you've received and junk like that)? I've been a professional writer in a wide variety of media and I have no clue. Didn't get a phone interview for that one either.
• Lying. One person was very careful to mention the job needed programming skills. My programming skills are, uh, nil. The last time I coded, there were still line numbers and you used crappy editors like Edlin. And, if it didn't work the first time, I quit doing that program. It should work the first time. I once did a program in C+ that converted dates into base 64. The only thing I remember about that program was the fact it had a bazillion recursive If-Then loops and if it didn't work the first time I ran it, I was going to quit my job. I didn't do it. I once had a really great job for three weeks. They had six, count 'em six interviews where I told them I was a tech writer and knowledge manager, not a programmer...although I suppose if you put a gun to my head I could probably figure something out within 6-10 weeks. You know what my first (and only) assignment was? You guessed it. They wanted me to convert web content into Lotus Notes databases. I was flabergasted. A. Didn't you listen to me the six times I said I wasn't a programmer? B. There's a programming language for Lotus Notes? Then why doesn't it ever work the way you want it to? C. Lotus Notes? Why the hell aren't you on Exchange or Zindus Server?
  
• Fill in the gap. You see, I haven't worked since October 2008. I'm in a protected class (those 40 and above, which sucks) and I used to make way too much money according to the large corporations here in Chicago. As soon as the bottom dropped out of the economy, these bastards started pushing down BA, Information Architect and Project Manager salaries and hourly contract rates. It's going to boomerang and hit them in the ass in a couple of years. Anyway.  There's a gap in my resume. Him: What have you been doing, Scot? Me: I've been looking for work more than full time ever since my last project crashed. Him: We need something else, to show you were doing something. Me: I just told you what I was doing Him: Nope, need something better. Me: Tell them I was researching a book about how a Business Analyst fits into an Agile Project as well as a few domestic engineering jobs. Him: That'll work.

And none of them, not one of them (except for three or four astute, personable and caring recruiting companies) tell you anything unless the client company wants a phone interview or you hound them with e-mails. And then they're your very best friend... until the process craps out on you.
 
I dunno. Maybe I should have stayed in radio news. I could easily be making $37,000/year in one of the three or four news jobs left in the industry. Or I could be a disc jockey...saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over...

Powered by ScribeFire.