Good News!

So I was notified my services would not be required as of October 1 on September 23.

On September 27, the fellow who taught me how BAs fit into Agile Development (yeah, I capitalized it, wanna make sumpin of it?) calls me in the evening, after work.

We exchange pleaseantries and he asks if I'd be interested in working on a potentially Huge Project (yeah, I did it again, didn't I?) downtown for a non-profit.

Now, I hate communting into the city for any reason. Besides being a big guy (OK. I'm fat), one knee has arthitis I found out four months ago) and the other's patella (knee cap-pretty cool that I knew that- I watch Bones) is improperly placed all of a sudden (which I found out on the same visit).  Then the left foot went numb- the MRI (Magnetic Resonance Something or Other- I'm on a roll, no?) says two important disks are either pinching or something. Oh yeah, you have mild neuropathy (duh, I'm diabetic)- surgery really isn't an option- go get PT (Physical Therapy- this medical stuiff just rolls off my tongue, doesn't it?), that'll be $750 please.

Well- that's why I hated going into the city, I thought as I mildly said, "Hell yeah," to my former and now current boss-guy. But for the rate, I guess I can take a cab,

Just like last time I worked at Pathfinder (the other names change by the phase of the moon- first it was Pathfinder Associates [PFA]- that changed to Pathfinder Development [PFD] after I was 'flipped' from contracter to employee (they don't have to pay me as much, but I get paid holidays) and now it's (I think) Pathfinder Software [PFS]). That marketing stuff is better handled by the experts, not moi.

So I went downtown exactly once. The two hugely intelligent guys doing the rationale for revamping the non-profit's IT Architecture pretty much handled it exquistely. I did some wiki stuff that nobody will use- just like 2005-1008.

And just like 2005-2008, another project desperately needed help, and I got assigned. It was originally for three days a week, but the non-profit project won't need me until the overall project gets approved and my company gets a piece of it (happy assumptions here).

So I'm working with a, as per usual for PFA/D/S, superb team with an exteremely talented whipper-snapper Project Manager (he can't be a day over 20 even if he graduated at Georgia Tech with a Masters and worked there for a number of years and has two kids). The project is exceedinlgy complex as a result of business requirements (pretty much standard for all the projects I've worked on).

But it's supposed to go through January- probably even longer since it's health related and there's a lot of FDA junk that needs to be done.

While I'm happy as a pig in...um..er...you know, I still can't figger out how the hell I dumbly get assigned to projects with really smart people. Blind luck? Probably....

Update

So my time at large financial company is over. Like October 1.

The time was well spent in a cool project. Except:

• How can you create a new user look and feel when you've already coded, marketed and have begun user instructions when half the application before you hire the UxD or BA contractors, and then demand they adhere to non-existent control and design standards?
• Why does the head honcho not know such a major overhaul requires an As-Is snap shot to make certain the requirement "All previous version functionalities must be present in the new version" is met?
• How can you deal with a project manager that asks contracting companies, half way through the project, to prepare bids without budget requirements and on what basis the company will choose its contracting team.

Yeah. My team lost.

Oh well. I got paid, I created some useful, if convoluted, requirements and diagrams. And worked with some really sharp people.

Since I don't have to support the application on implementation, I'd say it was a fair trade. But I feel bad for the folks that have to stay.

Down and Dirty Baseline

Management wants As-Is documentation for its existing application. It handles billions of dollars each month. And the developers have already started working on the Manufacturer side of the application and want a lot of code and reporting re-use. I'm with the Dealer side.

Coding starts in mid August.

How to get this done was the first meeting I attended after my company laptop was issued and I found my cube int he farm.

I suggested a light weight requirements process- a description of current functionality, a screen capture, a process flow activity diagram and functional descriptions we can infer from playing with the application. Once these "use cases" are complete, we'll walk SMEs through them to correct errors, add stuff we had no clue about and the like.

We will have the required baseline done in a very short period. Enough to do a Gaps Analysis of Version 1 compared to plans for Version 2.

So far we've created a "use case" number and title for each major major page and cross referenced to menus.

It seems to be working- at least the boss is very happy check marks in the tracker are increasing in quantity and the 'now published' announcement e-mails are coming a lot faster. The BA team has access to the QA/Development environment. I got the Create User doc done in about a day and a half. The current system, as you'd expect, has had several changes over the years and is, um, complicated.

Abstraction is a wonderful thing.

Since Create User is the first major design issue, I'm already talking about Version 2.0 with the IA/Designer as I delve deeper into this really cool piece of work that has combined two or three legacy applications and several upgrade security tools. This archeological stuff is interesting. The boss is a SME and quite amazing himself. So this isn't going to be the cluster ***k it could have been.

I'll letcha know. This Agile stuff works great. But of course, you and I already knew that.

Scary, Kids, Scarry!

<I've added a few musical touches, tell if you like/hate them>

OK, County Floyd from SCTV, I'm officially creep-ed out.

Google's new 'social networking' tool, Google+ is crawling around our computers. See PC World Article for background.

(upbeat banjo licks)

My own moment of clarity came about two weeks ago. I got a message concerning Google's new two part security system. There was a big hack job a few weeks ago and this was Google's answer.

(organ mystery stab)

The new system requires you to use a second password to get to your Google stuff. I set it up from my laptop and  Android Smartphone (which really isn't smart at all...but that's a different rant you can expect in the days to come). Worked great the first time I did it.

(heavy timpani role)

Then I programmed my password manager to handle the duties.

(Theramun stuff like in The Day The Earth Stood Still)  Yeah, it's a real instrument played with your hands weaving in and around an antenna looking thingie. Some say it was the first electronic instrument.

Anyway, back to our story!

Dummy me.

I did it from the smartphone.

(another organ stab)

See, the new system makes you download a new password generator app on your phone.

(Banjo up and under the next paragraph)

So you gotta log into Goggle, then your phone and then generate a second password the laptop site is demanding.

Hurry Up,. though! (banjo speeds up) You have only a couple of minutes to use it!

(banjo stops abruptly, timpani increase rhythm and under...)

And yes, you have to log out of Google on your phone, generate a new code, copy it, go back into Google and use the second password before it expires.

Have you ever tried to do anything fast on one of these touch pad keyboards? (Spike Jones something or other)  It's like trying to use a bat with cooking mittens on.

I did this on a Saturday. I needed Google Maps on Sunday. On my phone.

As soon as I got home, I ran everything back to default.

So, problems with Google+ don't surprise me in the least. And I'm getting worried about the smartphone I bought.

It uses Android (the cut down LINUX operating system), made by Google.

(Descending trumpet wah-wah's)

Ten Things You Can Do While Waiting for the New Contract to Start

Let's see:

1. Respond to all the nudges in your Facebook games.
2. Figure out how to load those pictures from your phone to Facebook, or Flicker or...
3. De-dupe your music collection.
4. Go pick up those prescriptions the drug store's automatic alerting device that's been calling five or six times a day as a 'helpful' reminder even though you told them to shut it off, I can keep track of my own scripts very well, thank you very much...speaking of which...what the hell happened to that resume I sent to Allscripts?
5. Find one of the five copies of your birth certificate you used last month for that other contract gig...and where the hell did my driver's license go?!!?
6. Try to remember if those pictures you finally uploaded to Facebook were the ones I was supposed to upload and not those other ones....
7. Pay the garbage company because it's threatening to stop collection, even though your adult boys forget to take the garbage out two times out of three....
8. Add a piece yo your blog. Try to be funny.
9. Try to get your bum knee working by talking a short walk...remember to stretch first. That walking you did at the grocery store and Sam's club Saturday pretty much blew the good knee out...
10. Screw it. Count the trip into the drug store as your walk.

Jeez. What the hell are you going to this afternoon?

1. 
   

Double Jeopardy with Cheese

I'm back in the networking business again- out where a friend is a friend of a friend of a friend.

Told you I was into folk music! I just folk processed Gene Autry's theme song right in front of you. Folkies call it the folk process. Everybody else calls it stealing (if Arlo Guthrie didn't say that, he certainly inspired me to write it).

Disclosure/CYA: There isn't just one company that does this, I've found, but McDonalds is is notorious for it.

Yeah, I'm hunting for work again.

Reminds of something I didn't complain about before: Disqualifying candidates who are submitted twice to one job.

Here in Chicagoland, we host a lot of large corporations. Most of them use consultants because we're throw away when the executive decisions come down or that particular area can't hire anyone more (they call a job 'head count,' which makes people who use that phrase without smirking, head cases, I think).

These larger organizations pick about a half dozen body shops, sorry, consulting or recruiting firms and, after proper computer connections for hiring and payroll and time logging (yes, payroll and time cards are separate things when you're a consultant- at one place, I had to enter and track my time in three different systems) these body shops are designated as 'preferred.'

Now the 'preferred' body shop....er consulting firm is the only type of firm with which the large corporation will deal. For the company, this reduces payroll and recruiting costs because the body shop... er recruiters are already vetted and on the systems required.

The consulting firm is then placed on an unofficial, off-line discount system, like Captain Kirk's Price Line. Smaller firms go through these preferred firms, discount a few dollars an hour off the contractor's overhead.

This can increases the cost of the contract or reduce the amount the contractor receives.

Guess which one usually happens?

Then, the large firm starts recruiting for itself, knowing that each hire/contract will cost it less than using a recruiting firm.

It also means us job hunters see job...er...'requirement' adds on the job boards with slightly different titles- some radically different- but the exact same requirements. We'll see adds from three sources:

• The company- since it saves even more dough if it hires you.
• Several preferred body shops. These recruiters make sure we know it and it's supposed to mean something to the contractor- trust me, very few of these 'preferred' firms will ever find you the next job. No matter what the recruiter told you when you were considering it. It;s sort of like military recruiting, I guess.
• The independent small or individual firm which funnels candidates through the preferred companies.
• The companies that employee green card holders well before the card holder should be speaking on the phone, much less trying to recruit you.
  

Great deal for the company. Really screws up us job hunters.

Now, to add to this circus, the large company disqualifies candidates who have more than one application for the contract.

Oh yeah, they often open multiple BA slots at the same time. They don't tell you what each opening is for which area-department-building-manager. Many times the job descriptions...sorry...requirements are boilerplate, templated copies.

Nice, hunh?

Now, we learn fast and we can describe your As-Is processes pretty well in a few hours. To-Be may take a while, but by the time those two models are working, we pretty much know your business.

So, why on earth, when some large corporation knows there are a gazillion ads for its one position, would they disqualify a candidate for two or more submissions or the lack of domain (industry) experience?

Industry knowledge can be helpful, but a. most businesses run pretty much the same- scaled, but the basics are all there no matter the company b. the BA is supposed to find requirements, processes, pain points, potential business opportunities and junk and c. It takes us only a few hours to learn and abstract the company's As-Is state...so the designing can get underway.

Seems to me, such HR "experts" would sort of want to pass such a candidate's resume on to the hiring manager. The candidate has been vetted by more than one firm. More than one person thinks the candidate is qualified.

This proves, at least to me, what we've all been thinking about for years:

Human Resources main purpose in the hiring process is to eliminate as many candidates as it can rather than find the most qualified candidate.

Oh yeah, one other thing...your HR software sucks, companies and recruiters-especially you recruiters. I continue to get recruited for: Java Developer, .Net Developer, Project Manager, Compliance Analyst, Help Desk Agent, QA Analyst. The software uses keywords and buzz phrases. Stop It. Or get analytical software with some basic understandings of keywords, searching and finding information. I worked in this area- and your stuff sucks.

Sort of like the way many IT folks use the word 'Agile' as "the next great thing." But that's another rant.

Stay tuned.

How I'm Spending My Spring Vacation

Why me, Lord, what have I ever done?

Kris Kristofferson's song is vibrating in my head this month.

I'm looking for work again.

One company decided spending a couple of million to save almost 100 million wasn't worthwhile.  I'm still having trouble with that one.

The company is going through a really painful transition that puts knowledge workers into projects when the worker's expertise is needed.

I whispered to colleagues that this is exactly what consulting firms have been doing for decades- no reaction- must be all the graphs, town hall meetings and giving everyone at least two bosses.

This paradigm introduces the concept of the 'bench.' This is the 'place' unassigned workers train, chip away at  make-work projects or get laid off. Why should the company employ 67 resnagglers if it only needs 12 reflaggrationers?

That last part wasn't mentioned. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

Even Leaders said the company needs Knowledge Management and consistent governance to do this. At the very least, when Employee A is brought into the project s/he needs to be oriented. So Employee B needs to bring Employee A up to speed (here's where the project business case is located, the project plan is over here, this directory holds all the stuff your predecessor did, etc.).

That means two employees (probably more people since Employee B needs to eat and use the lavatory at times) are tied up for at least half a day just to get the newbie started. If the documents for each project were a. consistent, b. templated  (mebbe even a web form?) and c. easy to find, Employee B would deal with much higher level issues, saving the company a grunch (technical term) of cash.

Nearest I can figure, someone renamed a database a 'knowledgebase,' so the leadership thinks the company already has KM.

Good luck with that.

The next job was a great place to work, wonderful manager- but it was initially a five week contract. I did what you'd expect in the third and fourth weeks and found another gig. when I told my recruiter how great it was working with him and his staff (seriously), he told me the company had just that day requested an extension for me. Jeez. I'd just accepted the new one.

Damn.

Of course, it turns out I should have kept the second contract.

I lasted one week at the third one.

My doctor sent me to the hospital for 'tests' since I was having breathing problems- couldn't make it from the parking garage to my cubicle with out 4 or 5 stops to catch my breath- people asking if I needed help and friends telling me I looked like....um...cah-cah.

Turns out we needed to adjust my atrial fibrillation med a little and needed a shot for arthritis in my left knee (!). I feel fine now and can walk all the way around Sam's Club and Aldi's. I was in one day more than my doc originally schedueled (damn cardiologists). My contract was canceled.

No real complaint from me. The project had to get started.

It's just that I attract this goofy stuff.

So, I'm looking again. My fingers are crossed nothing goofy's going to happen. I'm 24 pound lighter (and continuing- looooong way to go) and I'm mostly not smoking anymore. Very positive stuff.

So if you know of any openings, lemme know, eh?