If Anything Can Go Wrong...

...it will. Murphy has to have had my search for work in mind.

This latest one is classic.

The company advertised for a permanent full time Business Analyst.

I got 64 (I'm not kidding) phone calls on this. My LinkedIn Profile is working, I guess. And two dozen e-mails. You know the ones- created in Java or a PDF so you can't do anything with it

I went with the first guy who called me.

Two days later, the company called my recruiter, said it wanted a phone screen. Great!

The phone screen was done by the incumbent. The company is smart enough to allow some overlap. Support Content Management, check; Lead Projects for enhancements, check; create and troubleshoot reports from a data warehouse, check. Great, the hiring manager will get my notes and we'll get back to you.

Three days later they want another phone interview. Hmmm.

The hiring manager is still screening. So what was the time I spent out of class invested in? Nothing, obviously, thought the suspicious former reporter now Business Analyst without a job. Yeah, forgot to tell you, I was in a certification class for the first interview.

I call in. We talk. The manager keeps harping on supporting the Content Management System. No, the manager didn't expect any major or minor enhancement for quite a while. No, you wouldn't be creating reports so much as trouble shooting them.

So you advertised for a Business Analyst because........?

Hmmm. The manager wants a Level Two Technical Representative, not a BA.

The last zinger occurs when I ask about the next steps.

"I'm not sure," says the hiring manager, "If we decide to go outside the team, we'd call you in for a face to face interview."

Go "outside the team"?

"Yes, I know we have people on the team who can do this, I just haven't decided if that's the route I want to go," the hiring manager says.

I politely say goodbye while making a rude gesture as I hang up the phone. It's an old Help Desk trick to lower your frustration level without getting into trouble.

So, the bottom line is:

1. The company's job listing, if not an outright lie, was misleading.
2. The inequitable playing field (she has a job, I don't) just became more so because I'm competing with people she already knows and who obviously have more domain experience than I do.
3. There ain't a chance in Hell I'm getting this job, the manager's doing this to fulfill corporate policy and this was just a numbers game.

If the manager calls back and wants a face to face (which I doubt will happen- trust me, I've been looking for work for over 18 months now), I will politely tell the manager that I'm not interested any longer and have accepted an offer with a competitor as it's new CTO (Chief Technical Officer).

I like Cornell's corollary to Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.