Vocational Testing

Let's bring everybody up to date:

October 2008, Scot and about 17 others were let go when their company didn't handle the client's expectations;or the client was going to steal 'proprietary code.' I think it was the former rather the later. The 'proprietary code' was a simple flash reader that allowed annotation...exactly...ten years old. The other stuff in the application was simple database and UI implementation of the client's business rules. Complex as all get out, but not real hard. And nothing any other Java or .Net should couldn't have replicated very easily.

November 2009 (yep, a full 13 months) Scot got a short -time contract- great people, enjoyed it and there's a possibility of a the company calling me back.

In the mean time, I either have to find something more stable or freelance. I'm, of course, doing both.

So part of the deal is getting training. I was thinking about getting PMP from PMI (Project Management Professional certification from Project Management Institute, so, I applied. Last September.

They got back to me this week. One of the bazillion links in the packet to get your voucher included a 'skills assessment,' which turned out to be a list of personal values. Kind of like the Minnesota Multiphasic meets The One Minute Manager in Senora, Mexico, Bizarre and warped. I think Salvidor Dali wrote this thing.


Now, by looking over around 100 values (not skills, sorry, U of G but that's probably one of the reasons you guys are so low academically) and selecting five values that I get "a great deal of pleasure from,' ten values that give me a 'moderate amount of pleasure' and 20 values that give me a little pleasure (but not pain).
 

They rank each result 1 to 100. There's only one over 50: 61 for Industrial Production Manager. Hmmm. This 'tool' thinks there's a clipboard in my future.
Police and Detective Supervisor? I hate mysteries. I used to cover cop shops all over the upper Midwest. No thanks. If I want paramilitary, I'll rejoin Civil Air Patrol.

Agricultural Engineer? That's U.S. Bureau of Labor-speak for farmer, right? Or is the Extension Agent with which I always ended doing a monthly interview, in all the markets I worked? Good call, Georgia! I'm probably the only person in the U.S. that says subsidizing farmers is wrong. They call it a lifestyle. My rejoinder is simple: no one subsidizes my lifestyle, why in the world should I subsidize yours?

Curator? Just shoot me.

Technical Writer? OK, that's one good one. But they don't make enough cash for the mental anguish.

Business Executive? I couldn't stop laughing.

Human Resources? Don't think so, I worked with a GREAT HR director and that ain't gonna happen.

I have no idea what an Operations Research Analyst is, unless that's the guy who shows his butt crack when he  removes the PC that fouled up on your desk because they wouldn't give me admin rights.

Economist? See Curator

The IT stuff? Second good call

Arbitrator? I'd just knock heads and rule for the little guy all the time. Besides, that's just a baby Arbitrager, right?

Numerical Control Tool Programmer? Dunno. If there was an Alphabetic Control Tool Programmer, I might think about it.

Aerospace Engineer--- actually all the engineers:  I was a child of the 60s and if I was involved, that time a programmer switched decimal to hex and the satellite was like at Mars already? I would have done that four or five times so it wouldn't have made any difference. It'd be a toaster now.

Historian? Yeah, OK. Third good call. One of my B.A. Minors.

Sociologist? Maybe, another minor.

Storage and Transportation Manager- I've seen those guys. They're bigger than me. No Thanks.

So, your help is solicited- I'm thinking a PMP boot camp and ITIL. The state pays for the test and the trainer helps you put the freaking Vitae together (which is why I never tool the CBAP test- I resent having reviewed the Business Analyst Body of Knowledge and then spend five or six weeks getting details together. I figure PMI makes sense, since the Project Manager function is pretty set, the BA rols is still in a state of flux now that Agile is the method of choice for good shops.

Leave a comment. You may have a better idea than I do!

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An End User's Experience with Cataract Surgery.

So the eye doctor's office called twice with time changes for me to head to the hospital. They finally settled on the original time. I liked being in the loop, but good lord!

Brian, youngest son, drops me off at the curb. He's gonna stay in the car, play the radio and play with his new Android phone. Hmmmmm.

I walk in, go to the Outpatient Services Desk and say, "Okay, I'm here. Cut me."

Both ladies behind the desk laugh and the one closest to me says turn around, walk to your right, past the gift shop and go to Outpatient Surgery Desk.

This is not looking good.

Same joke gets same reaction. Please sit down Mr. Witt and we'll call you when we have a room.

Have a room, I say to myself, what was all the dicking around over times all about then. As I reached for my phone to play BubbleBlaster (no clue why I like it, it's a dumb game but I love it) a lday comes up to me ascorts me to my room. No bed, just a lounger.

This won't hurt a bit. She's right. The IV needle didn't hurt at all. I want her to do all my sticking from now on.

We're going to put the goop into your eye now. Goop?

Lidocaine in a gel. Now I know what lidocaine is from the TV shows.

Three times. Goopy crap. But my eye is numb as a post now.

"Hi, I'm Tim, please get up on the gurney and we'll wheel you in." Turns out- he's the anesthesiologist. He keeps telling about the 'couple of cocktails we're going to give you.'

He straps in the blood pressure cuff, inserts the O2 hose in my nose and says he's starting now.

Nuthin. The only good part of the procedure was the professional grade drugs. Yes. I am a child of the 60s.

My eye doctor opens my lids with a contraption that looks like it came out of the Marquis de Sade's basement. Eye's numb, no problem.

15 years ago he went in on top of the cornea. This time it was the side. Either way, the procedure (see? I can talk like a Doctor, too) lasted all of ten minutes. And they let me out of the hospital five minutes after I got back to the room.

No glasses. Didn't really need them now. It was like looking through a quart milk bottle (remember those?) with about a half inch of milk still in it. It seemed fuzzy as well so I went to the mirror and looked through the eye. Just as good as the other one in terns of acuity....at least when the haze goes away.

Now, I have a few follow-ups and have to put prednizone drops in my eyes every two hours (they sting, but make the eye feel better. And a few more drops. Drops, lottsa drops. I had on bottle of drops 15 years ago.

Maybe they haven't advanced the science so much...

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School Days, Dear Old Golden Rule Days.

Youth is wasted on the young. Mark Twain

For some strange and interesting reason most of the Class of 1973, Rich Township East High School, Park Forest, IL are up on FaceBook. It suprized the hell out of me. I occaisionaly searched the goofy alumni websites but there'd only be one or two folks up there and I didn't know them very well. If I remember correctly, we had around 430 graduates. I could be wrong- I often am.

What I find exceedingly and embarassingly interesting was how wrong, way, way wrong I was about the people in my class, how we all stuck to our little cliques to protect ourselves with people exactly like us. I heard someone recently call High School the only place you protect your body AND your soul. How right that was.

Here's just a few of the things I've found out in the last three or four months that amaze me and make me sad I was such a dope back then:

• I thought my best friend and I were the only liberals. We'd canvassed for McCarthy and a couple of more local folks and found out our hometown (Park Forest, IL) was a Republican Bastion...sort of like Wheaton without the College. Almost every single one of the folks I've found up here were (and are) just as liberal as Chris and Me. And I never knew. Yeah, there are a few neoconservatives in the class, but most of them moved to Southern  or Western States where they're probably more comfortable anyway. I just simply don't talk politics with them. I already have heart disease.
• We had a  lot of spectacular looking young women at that school. I *always* felt out of my league. Turns out- they're all extremely warm, intelligent and still very good looking. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and have absolutely no plans to leave... but one *does* wonder what might have happened if one wasn't so self-aware, scared, intimidated and had a few chips on the shoulder. Do all kids go through this? I know we all think puberty sucks, but I saw a lot of poeple having parties on the weekends and suppporting each other. Could have made a difference in my own experience.
• I've been invited to vacation at about a dozen places by these folks. Even if we can't plow through and see some of them, it made each of my days when that happened. Not so much for a free meal or a jam session, but to think they'd go out of their way for me when I was in some really narrow and goofy cliques.
• One young women for whom I was rabid (remember them days of constant hormone movement?) called me a 'geek.' Now, I've never worked for the circus and certainly never cut off chicken heads with my mouth, so I asked her what she meant (it coulda been extremely embarassing). She said- oh, only that you're smart. Me?!? Boy I musta pulled the wool over the eyes of a buncha peoples' eyes (she and I hardly mixed, weren't in many classes together) because I never, ever thought of myself that way. My former best friend in the entire world said the same thing a few years ago. I remain astonished, embarassed and foolish. If I was so smart, how come I didn't get a scholarship or get on the It's Academic Team or last more than a year in Debate? Looking back, I think it was immaturity and excessive competetiveness. And being a jerk, of course.
• Music. Suprized the bejesus out me when one of the popular women from 4th grade through graduation told me she now lives near Teluride and invited me out to jam. She also said her mother was going to the same anti-war rallies Chris and I were going to (!). Another friend came over the house one Saturday and jammed with my music friends and freaked me out- he was doing much of the same stuff I do- except he knows barre chords and stuff. When I posted a YouTube clip of a Pete Seeger/Wood Guthrie promotional film on my facebook page- I got a LOT of comments. And most of them have stayed current with the music as well. That's soooo coool in my book. Music has always my raod to spirituality- not classical stuff, stuff you can play in your own living room with friends- share and enjoy. It took me 40 years to realize that and a second time to get my calluses back (never, ever, again) but I did.

I don't think my classmates are all that unusual. Well. Now that I think about it, it IS unusually for 54 year old men and women to hop up to FaceBook, expecially with the lousy numbers we keep getting from women on use of th einternet ((but the numbers are getting better). But other than that, they'r enjoying their kids and grand children just like I am and preparing for retirement, which I can't do yet.

We all pretended, though, that the town we grew up in, a post WWII bedroom community and the first planned community ever (Take THAT, Leavittown) was special. But it was only special for the white, suburban ethos which many communities have. While our town was desegregated and pretty much welcomed everyone and had a complete housing inventory, we had very few black familys, Muslim Familys or Chicano Families. They simply couldn't afford to live there. So it was privileged. And everybody could stay out late at the playground, guys, we're talking the 50s and 60s here.

I have enjoyed reconnecting with people whom I'd only nodded to in the hallways or whose lockers were next to mine. And I'm glad I have a much better picture of them. Before this, I thought my time in high school was the worst period of my life- isolated, scared, falling in love every hour and a half with someone new and keeping it all inside. I even wrote a year end column for the newspaper that was, um, caustic. I was pissed off for 30 years that the Speech Coach forced me to audition as a Senior against a Sophmore for state competition. I think he was angry at me for the way the Debate Team (when I was on it) brought his effeminant  mannerisms to ridicule, He was actually the first MetroSexual I ever knew, but I couldn't care less. I think he was punishing me for the Debaters as well as getting his own boy (our former head coach moved to another district high school my Senior year) state experience. I was 40 years old before I let that go. He wound up at one of the local high schools here in the western suburbs. He was a principal. I think often about stopping by and beating the shit out of him. But I didn't. I should have. I wanted to. He deserved it. But what would that say about me? And I could imagine the headlines: Radio News Guy Beats Former Coach. Not good. That's when I let it go.

So.

I am enjoying my classmates immensely. They are far, far better people than I thought, even though I knew intellectually that sterotyping is stupid.

I may even show up at the next reunion. I gotta get back on that diet...

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Working Retail

Well, I finally got me a job. It's consultant work, but the pay's pretty good and the people I work with are great.

The job is for a large retailer with a lot of stores. My six week gig (over yesterday, 12/31/2009) was to get enough documentation together so they could price it. I initially suggested a high level functional and technical document combined with a Function Point count.

Typically I use a PowerPoint template I stole...um...borrowed...er...folk processed from a former company and Functional Requirements Document (usually around 5 to 10 pages). I usually leave the technical paper to the architect or lead developer. What do I know about which indexing system to use- typical Relational Database or Data Warehousing standards? I'd be guessing.

Turns out the Project Manager is hell on wheels and did most of the documentation. After some requirements gathering sessions, I began to understand what the business wanted: a tool to tracking and assign work to retail stores with some sideways bells and whistles. Since my previous work there had major governance issues, I figured they would use Waterfall. Hence the Use Cases.

Wrong.

The first one almost created a riot. 13 pages? Sub-Use Cases? Diagrams? And you want me to sign off on this IT stuff?

Well, first of all, between the front matter and the sign-off forms in the back, it's only 7 pages. And of those seven page, all of them are beautiful color graphics which leaves two pages of text- the Step Action table of the actual Use Case and about a dozen business rules which I inferred from our meetings.

No! A thousand times no, you pathetic excuse for a BA.

Hmmm. How about an Agile approach. I'll give you cave drawings and you sign off on them?

Yes, that's better, BA Boy.

So I created eleven major wireframes and defined all the fields, buttons and controls in a two column table, complete with bolded headers and bullet lists.

• I don't like these icons.
• This stuff is not at all intuitive, you need to change this (two days before my contract ended)
• Where did you get these dashboard numbers, just make them up so we could see what they looked like (yes)?
• I know we said we didn't want Admins and yes we need to turn Key Performance Indicators on and off depending on the last stop light remaining in Fartwest, Idahpo, so how are we gonna do that?
• How did you do that Admin Page so fast?
• Can we change the color of this crossbar? It's too, I dunno, too red, I guess.

Every thing's back to normal!
God, I love being a BA and helping people.
My manager's gonna try to get me back in for a longer contract in a week or so.

Agile, Waterfall, business analysis

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Reflections on Hiring Practices

Well, it took almost 13 months, but I found a job with some folks that not only get it, they see through the smoke and mirrors. I start on Monday.

Over the last 13 months, I have seen the craziest, outlandish, silly, stupid and counter-productive people, practices and processes ever.

Don't get me wrong. There are some people who know what they're doing. But they're so few and far between. And in all but a couple of circumstances, economic necessities forced them to cancel the gig.

When IT was booming, companies had to go to recruiting firms to get the people needed for projects and work. The company's HR recruiters didn't know how to talk to an IT professional or assess his or her background. I remember when I wasn't in IT and the College of DuPage gave them about 50% more than I was for the same level job- which is one of the reasons I got into IT. Fine. I get that. But that was 15 years ago. Do you think that after that length of time the HR Generalist curricula could address this? It must be me.

Now you have recruiters working on commission that barely speak the language. I'm not impolite, usually, but after asking someone four, count 'em, four times to repeat their company's name, I hang up. Why would I want to work with or through a company that bad in screening their people or those who consistently use the subjunctive case in recruiting e-mails? I am not anti-immigrant. I think Lou Dobbs is an idiot and a bigot. But if you're in this country, learning the freaking language! I did when I went to your country.

And its not a requirement. It's a job. The requirement(s) is/are part of the job posting.

One recruiter called me to ask me not to apply at his firm anymore! Seems his software saved all applicants and he was spending extra money having a clerk scan my resume into his system every time I applied for a job. He says it cost him about $10 each time. Since I'd apply for four or five openings about twice a month, I was costing him $50 a month. He then assured me he'd have a job for me within six months- in fact, Scot, just last week your score almost reached the top in my system and I almost called you. Yeah, I'll wait around for you. You bet. Like anyone with such a system wouldn't check for dupes. It's me, right?

I 've sent out at least  2 thousand resumes. I know the companies are inundated. Excuse me, but isn't that part of the cost of doing business? And aren't you looking for the best possible candidate?  I know they're allegedly scanning stuff into databases all over the world. But they don't know how to use the technology.

On no less than 15 occasions, a recruiter called me about an opening and had no clue: 1. my information was already in his system and 2. I'd already met with one his firm's recruiters (in person).

So, I'm real impressed with all the Taleo and Brass Ring reminders that my information will be kept on file for 12 months and if anything comes up, they'll contact me. I'm holding my breath.

And how about that Taleo snag that demands you enter a source for the job listing, but there's no source field...much less a pull down. I'm thinking we can either use this as a 'what not to do' for User Experience Design students or have your manager apply for a really cool gig...and then snort and chortle for the rest of the day. It's on a gazillion company-Taleo sites now.

And I couldn't get work.

Once in a while you see an ad on Craig's List that looks pretty good. Then you see there's no e-mail address and they want paper submissions. This is for an IT gig. And they want paper. Right. I'll get right on that for you.

Of the 2,000, most of the job sites wil acknowledge receipt. Then the ambiguous black hole. Am I in? Am I out? Nothing, Nada, Zip, Zero, Zilch. You have no phone number or e-mail for the contact (because you went through a job board) and no recourse.

Meanwhile, commission recruiters are calling you for the McDonalds, Sears, Allstate or JP Morgan gig you applied for through Dice- but one recruiter says her firm is a preferred vendor (does that mean they get to drink in a cool special area at the airport before heading out to the Bahamas for a 'business meeting?'). You figure maybe they'd be able to get your resume to the right person, so you say yeah.

Just then. an HR Representative at McDonald's activates the database for the first time since they moved it over from the IBM Mainframe on DB2 to SQL Server 6.0. And your resume pops out. Two resumes and therefore at McDonald's. Sorry, we can't hire you because you applied twice.

Hunh?

At least they replied. I appreciated companies telling me when an opening closed. I could take them off my list. But they rarely tell you anything other than "we decided to go a different route," (d we just get on a bus?) or "we found a better qualified candidate" (give me a hint, better qualified how?) or "we really liked you but <fill in a platitude here> so please continue looking at our website so we can double the sting and humiliation of rejecting you in a couple of weeks when the turkey we just hired quits or we fire her and that's why you've seen this add three or four times."

Or, the HR gamesmanship. The company wants to promote someone from inside to the gig but its EEOC numbers are skewed. Have HR post the job and ignore anything that comes through on #BA34262.

Then there's the recruiting firms that sweet talks you and offers to 'submit' you after you've spent six or seven hours doing three or four resume 'tweaks.' Then, nothing until you call.

When you call, they say that had no feedback from the client. What they don't tell you is your resume was sent over with five or six hundred others in the recruiting company's bid to strike the hiring manager with its ability to generate numbers and a wide selection of lovely parting gifts. Which wastes my time and the hiring manager's time.

On one direct application, I made it to the phone screen and didn't hear squat until I'd left the six message on the HR Rep's voice mail. The next day I got an e-mail saying they were gouing a different route (which is strange since they're right on an expressway). Which is fine, but tell me why and how I can improve my presentation the next time. The reply was "it's our policy not to provide feedback." Wow. Either lawyers and liability issues are now into self-improvement or that phone screen went horribly wrong and I didn't know it.

Then there's the one thing that may turn me into a Libertarian.

My name is Scot and I'm in a protected class. In the 1970s, the U.S. Government stopped companies from firing highly paid, experienced workers in favor of lesser experienced and more poorly paid workers. The idea was to help us old farts keep our jobs. The idea was great. But being protected, I have to assume, got in the way of most of the gigs for which I applied.  Companies get nervous if they hire you and can't fire you without a reason or as part of a larger lay-off. Never mind that I've never brought suit or that I understood each time I've been laid off its because the sales guys didn't do their jobs well enough.

And even if it was because of my previous salaries, I never got the chance to tell the employer I'd be willing to take a salary cut to get work for a company that might provide future growth. Either that, or the now required salary field on the website automatically disqualifies us older, experienced folks.

Let's assume I'd jump ship when the economy came out of the crapper. You'd rather have a kid just out of school who's never faced a pissed off client than someone experienced? You'd rather do a web application design three or four times rather than right the first time? You wouldn't want to employ someone with extensive skills and abilities that you can pretty much slap into any slot you need because you're worried I'd leave in 1-2 years instead of using me? No wonder the economy tanked. I wouldn't want to work there anyway with that kind of group think.

And let's discuss this process everyone seems to be using to "get the best person for the job."

Our applicant and his/her recruiter spend an inordinate amount of time 'tweaking' the applicant's resume (which is, in my experience, adding lies and hyperbole).

The resume is supposed to get me the interview (I know because my Mom was a job counselor in the 70s and I read What Color Your Parachute, which is probably the dumbest books I've ever read). I'm told I won't even get the phone screen if it isn't perfect. Sounds to me like the hiring manager is hiring off the resume, folks. And no matter how many superlatives the recruitering company's Account Manager sticks in my resume, if there's no immediate fit or interest, there's no immediate fit or interest.

Then we get either the HR Generalist (who doesn't know the difference between a Use Case and a Crank Case) or a technical sort on the phone with the applicant. The idea here is to separate the men from the boys. TMy trick is to step on my tongue and not interrupt, have one really good question about the company and answer the tech questions as competently as possible. The interviewer then mulls over all the audio and selects two or three to come in for a face to face interview... sometimes more (if the Director/VP is having lunch with a friend and left early and didn't tell the hiring manager so you're gonna have to come back if we're interested). Then the same questions are reapplied to the process because once wasn't good enough.

And from all that 'information,' the person making the hiring decision makes the decision.

Then there are the downtown Chicago companies which; a. don't have the slightest idea about the difference between a BA and a Business Systems Analyst, b. figure its a buyers market and take advantage of everyone by putting the kitchen sink into the competencies/certifications and experience necessary for the job, c. Use the economyas an excuse to cut pre-2008 contract rates by 40-60% (while accepting government stimulus money), d. the financial whiz kids who decided an hourly rate wasn't good enough for its newest consultants and not only cut the rate, but imposed a 'weekly rate' that allowed it to work consultants 10 hours a day for five days before any recompense kicked in, and e. the huge company that wanted you to work for $25/hour as a BA/Tech Writer/Project Manager- of course, that company always wanted to pay you less than $30/hour for your work.

Not once during this process did anyone test the Business Analyst to see if s/he could do the job. Smart companies do that with developers and pretty much make the hiring decison based on the test result and whether the applicant didn't tie his shoes together or had tomato sauce on her blouse.

In the 13 months I was looking, I took one test. At a recruiter's office. Very low level test. The recruiter had me take two parts over again because no one had ever scored that high in so short a time. I say this not to impress you with my credentials, but to underline hiring manager expectations.

At Geneca, I helped develop a quick and easy test. We had the applicant take 20 minutes or so to create a Use Case- not a complete Use Case, but enough to check writing skills and familiarity with the concept. Then we'd ask the applicant a question that forced him or her to give us a good estimate about something we assumed they knew nothing about This gave us an idea of how well the person could abstract, deduce and describe the process. That was to see how they thought and how well they through on their feet.

The other great test I took was for a web-based company, It had all its applicants write requirements for a simple feature. I got through to the phone screen. But it was with a developer and I didn't make it to the end.

To those others, I gave the url to my profile website with real, honest to gosh work product (cleaned up of proprietary detail, of course)- Use Cases, User Stories, Iteration Feature Lists, QA Management, Project Management, flow charts, diagrams, wireframes and more. I think I got 3 or 4 hits until the last folks to interview me kept going up there and downloading pretty much everything that was there.

So. You tell me. Software scanners, keyword hits (actually 'buzzwords'), phone screens and face to face interviews? Or a screening test of actual knowledge and ability followed by a real face to face interview about the real job?

Even if it's contract, I'm glad to be back to work. This job hunting's for the birds.

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Ubuntu 9.10: Not Bad, Not Bad At All

Everyone else is installing Windows 7.0. Now I've been in the Microsoft World long enough to know the old saws:

• Never, ever install the first version of a Microsoft Operating System.
• Wait until after the second Service Patch.
• Odd numbered patches will destroy your machine
• The even numbered patches fix the odd numbered patches.

Since I've been out of work for quite a while, I decided to install a dual boot- WinXP and Ubuntu 9.10 (Karmic Something-or-Other).  The installation routine automatically and perfectly partitioned my hard drive (sectioned off- one part for Windows, the other for Ubuntu Linux), found all the drivers (does Linux have Drivers?) and made my stuff work.  It's rock solid, includes a free version of every Microsoft Office application except one (one I use a lot- VISIO and there's no Open Source equivalent yet).

I had 9.04 (Jaunty Something-or-Other...this cuteness crap has got to stop) on an IBM T-23 ThinkPad and it worked grandly. No issues at all. So I held my breath the day after Win7 came out and installed  9.10 Desktop, the latest and greatest version of the Ubuntu line on my T-61 Lenovo ThinkPad.

So far, the only things I haven't been able to do (excluding VISIO- and I'm trying to figure out how a Windows emulator called Wine works and how I can use it) are:

1. Install the software to synch my SmartPhone (Windows Mobile 6.1) with Thunderbird's Lightning add-in. I followed all the instructions to download and install the USB connection software, but it refused to install. I think its because I'm on the latest Ubuntu Version and the developers only have the last stable version up on their server.
   
2. Recognize and connect to servers on my home network (probably because I haven't really tried yet).
3. Figure out whether I want to use Evolution or Thunderbird as my E-Mail Client/Calendar/PIM (Personal Information Manager).
4. Install the latest Thunderbird Beta because I have no idea how to install non-Ubuntu applications ('packages' in Linux-speak). I download the tar file (a compressed file similar to *.zip files in the Windows World) and double clicked it like the wiki told me. All it did was open the Archive Manager (which was nice to know, I didn't even know it had one) which just displayed the files in the compressed *.tar, so I decompressed the sucker and started double clicking all over the place. Nothing.
5. Move my mail and passwords from my Windows partition to the Ubuntu version of Thunderbird. I suspect this is a Mozilla problem (Mozilla makes Thunderbird) rather than Ubuntu's. Which is why I wanted the latest beta...I know where the mail files are and thought I could simply move them into the Linux machine, but I was using the latest Thunderbird Beta in Windows because the Lightning Calendar Add-in was crapping out all the time and the latest Beta uses a different database for mail and calendar items. But Birdie Synch doesn't work with the latest Betas (obviously- that's why they're Betas). Oy.
   

Unlike earlier versions of Ubuntu, 9.10 automatically detected my T-61's display and the external monitor I use, detected and walked me through my Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connections, found my external, USB connected hard drive. All effortlessly, cleanly and professionally. Laurels for the Ubuntu Team.

But.

You knew this was coming, didn't you?

The documentation designed for brand new computer/unsophisticated Windows users moving into the Linux World (Ubuntu is a flavor of Linux) or folks who've been running Linux command line stuff for 15 years. There's no middle ground. As a professional writer (and technical writer at that), I know that user documentation has a multiplicity of audiences- and the Ubuntu documentation does not. There may be a market for this as Microsoft returns to its every three or four year OS (Operating System) upgrade cycle.

Bottom Line:

1. Yes, I would install Ubuntu on my Mother's machine. The interface is very Windows-like, the on-line help is fabulous for the unsophisticated user who simply wants to use e-mail and surf and maybe write a letter or two...mebbe a couple of games.
   
2. No, I would not install it on my wife's machine- she's a programmer analyst would still be content to work in DOS.
3. I would install it on my daughter and older son's laptops. They are sophisticated users and would role into this OS like butter on bread.

Advantages:

• It's free
  
• It's applications are free (Open Source)
• The interface is as simple or sophisticated as you wish.
• Peripherals connect and work just like a Mac- immediately and without fuss.
• It's rock solid.
• It's fun to use and experiment with.

Disadvantages:

• Sophisticated Windows Users have a learning curve- it's short (I'm thinking less than a week), but its there.
• Documentation could be better for task oriented users- How do I synch my Windows Mobile to my PIM, how do I create a permanent connection to my son's laptop so I can read his comics and he can read mine, etc.  (this may be my issue and not the documentation). The simple explanations, while valid, only take one so far.
• While the software is 'free,' the new Ubuntu Software Center (sort of like Window's Add/Remove Programs) has a less than complete description of each product. But it does tell you whether Ubuntu will automatically update it or whether you need to do it manually. Yeah, I know the websites are always listed, but that made selecting a media player a lengthy process- so I kept the defaults and they work fine. 

Overall Grade (so far): A-.

Linux, Ubuntu 9.10, Open Source, Technical, Desktop

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TeamClock- Tastes Just Like Chicken

FaceBook has attracted pretty much the entire Class of 1973 for Rich East High School (Park Forest, IL). So I found the student director of the Spanish National Honor Society play I was in, only two suburbs away.

Steve Ritter is well and living in Elmhurst. Or Lombard. One of those two- the ones you can't get there from here.

Steve was one of the cool guys in high school, pretty much fit in every where and everyone liked him. Including me.

On re-connecting, we cautiously approached the other. Just to make sure the other guy hadn't weirded out. We're children of the 60s, remember.

Didn't happen.

So I invited him over for a music jam. He plays a mean guitar, much better than me- he's a little better than me on mouth harp and I'm a better singer- but he's the better overall musician. He politely refused the offer to join Acme Plumbing and Music (now called West Wind- I don't know what it means either and it's not half as funny as the original name...but I digress). Turns out he has his own band. Go figure.

Anyway...

Steve's doing a lot of consulting and has his own firm. He's even URL'ed himself: Steve Ritter. If I did that, my wife would stomp me. The best I can get is a subdomain: www.scot.witteweb.com.

It's my blog.

I can shamelessly promote myself if I want to.

Steve's been researching a book on team excellence. It comes out November 12th.

Now, I assume it's not a dreary textbook from his promotional tweets. It sounds much more like a cross between a motivational speech, The Agile Manifesto and a Team Dynamics For Dummies Book.

Tell me I'm wrong:

• Anyone still interested in following my tweets should begin following me at TeamClock. My work on breakthrough teams will be featured there.
  
• "Strong teams not only accept change, they expect and manage it in a proactive manner." (p. 53, Team Clock: A Guide)
• How, specifically, would you invest in your team if you wanted to increase trust and promote cohesion?
• Good enough or amazing? Breakthrough teams reach beyond the comfort of good enough to find new ways to invest, trust and innovate.

Steve hasn't sent me a review copy, and I'll have to wait until I get a job and bring the finances into alignment with the Age of Aquarious (it still is the Age of Aquarious, isn't it?), but it looks like Steve's years of research is going to support most of what we know and do in Agile Methodology:

1. We produce business solutions, not paper and documentation.
2. We find the hidden requirements by putting the product right in the business' hands so they can tell us what they want.
3. We expect and manage change up to and including implementation. Heck, sometimes we do it afterward even if we don't have a real iteration going.
   
4. Every member of the team is empowered to repair, suggest, assist and even clean up the war room.
5. The end of each requires the team to reflect and suggest changes to improve the process and the product.
6. Each team is self-managed. The Project Manager or Scrum Master's job is to remove obstacles from the team's way- not to manage. This eliminates a lot of chickenshit.
7. Agile development is test-driven. Our developers, business team members, design team members and management know when a feature is complete or issue resolved. It's done if it passes the tests the business imposes (and later on, the integration testing- after all, when coders change stuff, putting it all back together may create a new problem). This eliminates scope creep and finger pointing.
8. Agile team members 'parallel program.' That is, two developers grab a feature or part of a feature and work together for at least part of the workday. This isn't just a bonding experience- it enforces the sharing of knowledge and improves the end product. Heck, even us members of the Design Team (Business Analysts, Information Architects and Web Masters/Designers) can parallel program on GUI, wireframes and functionalities.
9. This may be the one place I'm betting we won't agree with Steve: Agile does 'good enough' development and documentation rather than superbly done. That's because the other methods have resulted in thousands of failed projects. Since we use working code and stakeholder/end user requirements from the beginning, small and medium sized projects are more likely to succeed, And if the business really wants 'superb,' we can do it, but we'll point out that two sides of the Project Manager's triangle will be out of proportion: Time and Money.

'Course I'm guessing what Steve's come up with and won't be able to read it until the 12th when he starts selling it.

But I'd watch his tweets if I were you. And buy his book when it comes out. Demand a copy at your local bookstore.

Steve's pretty damn smart.

I know.

We went to the same high school.

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