Almost As Funny

Agile in a Regulated Environment

2012-01-04T15:53:00.001-08:00

Now, I don't know what happened when the Initiation phase was done a year ago this month, but I know what I've been doing since October on this project for a healthcare hardware maker.

It's been a while since I was exposed to FDA and HealthCanada and European Common Market regulation- and even then, it was a glancing blow- for medical gases- pretty straight forward.

With testing equipment, the load's a lot different.

The Agile Principal:

"The most efficient and effective method of
conveying information to and within a development
team is face-to-face conversation."

Is pretty much thrown out the window. Like Waterfall, paper seems to be king.

So we adapted. We put all the User Stories, comments, hazard analysis and developer notes on database changeson our wiki. A junior team member goes up to the wiki, picks a User Story, then uses a <ctrl><a> and <ctrl><c> to save it in the clipboard then<,ctrl><v> to push it to a Word template, clean it up and then go back for all those nice pictures the devs and managers like (because they never read the tests- sorry- Acceptance Criteria; actually, we have one dev who really reads the stories- shocked the bejesus out of me). Curse me for making Work Flow Diagrams!

Then, we add the title to a spreadsheet template with 6 to 12 bazillion acceptance signatures. Seriously. Signatures. And we get 'em, too! Then save 'em, batch print them to annoy non-project staff.

Add a test case result sheet from the QA guys (who are the only others who actually read the stories- sorry, this a class project; there's someone else who actually reads the stories, we have an actual tech writer stealing hours from my time card), a paper clip and then it gets scanned into some other application that actually freezes the User Story's state and requires an Act of Congress for a change.

This also scares me. I don't spell that well, my grammar's off sometimes when I forget 7th grade sentence parceing and I forget stuff when I'm getting whipsawed while writing a story-editing the one from last month the to which the QA team got (how's that fer grammar, eh?)-seeing my product owner making the mistake of walking by so I can grab him for just a few questions- redoing what the QA wanted me to do because he called me on a quick change instead a comlete job- and a dev asking me questions about a story written a month ago.

So, you're likely to see a few numbering, um, issues and a single word from a previous requirement I forgot to delete. My editor, who happens to be the Risk Analyst and the fellow that wrote the original version of this software, just caught two more of my , er, issues.

So the big changes the team had to make are:

Realize we have throwback to the Waterfall/Iterative demand that 'Documentation is King.' We created a process that isn't too heinous, but keeps the stories short, to the point and on the wiki as the primary story keeper while meeting our customer's documentation requirements.
Sign-offs are not a simple head nod in this environment. In fact, sign-offs are worse than Waterfall.
When you do the sign-offs after implementation (and after the head nod), it becomes a paperwork process you can hand off to a junior level team member so it doesn't get in the way.
HIPPA, Good Manufacturing Practice. The Regulatory Guy (Gal) is the king after you meet the business needs.
Scot needs a remedial English Course. You don't gotta know how to spell in radio.

Good News!

2011-11-27T10:56:00.001-08:00

So I was notified my services would not be required as of October 1 on September 23.

On September 27, the fellow who taught me how BAs fit into Agile Development (yeah, I capitalized it, wanna make sumpin of it?) calls me in the evening, after work.

We exchange pleaseantries and he asks if I'd be interested in working on a potentially Huge Project (yeah, I did it again, didn't I?) downtown for a non-profit.

Now, I hate communting into the city for any reason. Besides being a big guy (OK. I'm fat), one knee has arthitis I found out four months ago) and the other's patella (knee cap-pretty cool that I knew that- I watch Bones) is improperly placed all of a sudden (which I found out on the same visit). Then the left foot went numb- the MRI (Magnetic Resonance Something or Other- I'm on a roll, no?) says two important disks are either pinching or something. Oh yeah, you have mild neuropathy (duh, I'm diabetic)- surgery really isn't an option- go get PT (Physical Therapy- this medical stuiff just rolls off my tongue, doesn't it?), that'll be $750 please.

Well- that's why I hated going into the city, I thought as I mildly said, "Hell yeah," to my former and now current boss-guy. But for the rate, I guess I can take a cab,

Just like last time I worked at Pathfinder (the other names change by the phase of the moon- first it was Pathfinder Associates [PFA]- that changed to Pathfinder Development [PFD] after I was 'flipped' from contracter to employee (they don't have to pay me as much, but I get paid holidays) and now it's (I think) Pathfinder Software [PFS]). That marketing stuff is better handled by the experts, not moi.

So I went downtown exactly once. The two hugely intelligent guys doing the rationale for revamping the non-profit's IT Architecture pretty much handled it exquistely. I did some wiki stuff that nobody will use- just like 2005-1008.

And just like 2005-2008, another project desperately needed help, and I got assigned. It was originally for three days a week, but the non-profit project won't need me until the overall project gets approved and my company gets a piece of it (happy assumptions here).

So I'm working with a, as per usual for PFA/D/S, superb team with an exteremely talented whipper-snapper Project Manager (he can't be a day over 20 even if he graduated at Georgia Tech with a Masters and worked there for a number of years and has two kids). The project is exceedinlgy complex as a result of business requirements (pretty much standard for all the projects I've worked on).

But it's supposed to go through January- probably even longer since it's health related and there's a lot of FDA junk that needs to be done.

While I'm happy as a pig in...um..er...you know, I still can't figger out how the hell I dumbly get assigned to projects with really smart people. Blind luck? Probably....

Update

2011-11-27T10:33:00.001-08:00

So my time at large financial company is over. Like October 1.

The time was well spent in a cool project. Except:

How can you create a new user look and feel when you've already coded, marketed and have begun user instructions when half the application before you hire the UxD or BA contractors, and then demand they adhere to non-existent control and design standards?
Why does the head honcho not know such a major overhaul requires an As-Is snap shot to make certain the requirement "All previous version functionalities must be present in the new version" is met?
How can you deal with a project manager that asks contracting companies, half way through the project, to prepare bids without budget requirements and on what basis the company will choose its contracting team.

Yeah. My team lost.

Oh well. I got paid, I created some useful, if convoluted, requirements and diagrams. And worked with some really sharp people.

Since I don't have to support the application on implementation, I'd say it was a fair trade. But I feel bad for the folks that have to stay.

Down and Dirty Baseline

2011-07-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

Management wants As-Is documentation for its existing application. It handles billions of dollars each month. And the developers have already started working on the Manufacturer side of the application and want a lot of code and reporting re-use. I'm with the Dealer side.

Coding starts in mid August.

How to get this done was the first meeting I attended after my company laptop was issued and I found my cube int he farm.

I suggested a light weight requirements process- a description of current functionality, a screen capture, a process flow activity diagram and functional descriptions we can infer from playing with the application. Once these "use cases" are complete, we'll walk SMEs through them to correct errors, add stuff we had no clue about and the like.

We will have the required baseline done in a very short period. Enough to do a Gaps Analysis of Version 1 compared to plans for Version 2.

So far we've created a "use case" number and title for each major major page and cross referenced to menus.

It seems to be working- at least the boss is very happy check marks in the tracker are increasing in quantity and the 'now published' announcement e-mails are coming a lot faster. The BA team has access to the QA/Development environment. I got the Create User doc done in about a day and a half. The current system, as you'd expect, has had several changes over the years and is, um, complicated.

Abstraction is a wonderful thing.

Since Create User is the first major design issue, I'm already talking about Version 2.0 with the IA/Designer as I delve deeper into this really cool piece of work that has combined two or three legacy applications and several upgrade security tools. This archeological stuff is interesting. The boss is a SME and quite amazing himself. So this isn't going to be the cluster ***k it could have been.

I'll letcha know. This Agile stuff works great. But of course, you and I already knew that.

Scary, Kids, Scarry!

2011-07-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

<I've added a few musical touches, tell if you like/hate them>

OK, County Floyd from SCTV, I'm officially creep-ed out.

Google's new 'social networking' tool, Google+ is crawling around our computers. See PC World Article for background.

(upbeat banjo licks)

My own moment of clarity came about two weeks ago. I got a message concerning Google's new two part security system. There was a big hack job a few weeks ago and this was Google's answer.

(organ mystery stab)

The new system requires you to use a second password to get to your Google stuff. I set it up from my laptop and Android Smartphone (which really isn't smart at all...but that's a different rant you can expect in the days to come). Worked great the first time I did it.

(heavy timpani role)

Then I programmed my password manager to handle the duties.

(Theramun stuff like in The Day The Earth Stood Still) Yeah, it's a real instrument played with your hands weaving in and around an antenna looking thingie. Some say it was the first electronic instrument.

Anyway, back to our story!

Dummy me.

I did it from the smartphone.

(another organ stab)

See, the new system makes you download a new password generator app on your phone.

(Banjo up and under the next paragraph)

So you gotta log into Goggle, then your phone and then generate a second password the laptop site is demanding.

Hurry Up,. though! (banjo speeds up) You have only a couple of minutes to use it!

(banjo stops abruptly, timpani increase rhythm and under...)

And yes, you have to log out of Google on your phone, generate a new code, copy it, go back into Google and use the second password before it expires.

Have you ever tried to do anything fast on one of these touch pad keyboards? (Spike Jones something or other) It's like trying to use a bat with cooking mittens on.

I did this on a Saturday. I needed Google Maps on Sunday. On my phone.

As soon as I got home, I ran everything back to default.

So, problems with Google+ don't surprise me in the least. And I'm getting worried about the smartphone I bought.

It uses Android (the cut down LINUX operating system), made by Google.

(Descending trumpet wah-wah's)

Ten Things You Can Do While Waiting for the New Contract to Start

2011-07-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

Let's see:

Respond to all the nudges in your Facebook games.
Figure out how to load those pictures from your phone to Facebook, or Flicker or...
De-dupe your music collection.
Go pick up those prescriptions the drug store's automatic alerting device that's been calling five or six times a day as a 'helpful' reminder even though you told them to shut it off, I can keep track of my own scripts very well, thank you very much...speaking of which...what the hell happened to that resume I sent to Allscripts?
Find one of the five copies of your birth certificate you used last month for that other contract gig...and where the hell did my driver's license go?!!?
Try to remember if those pictures you finally uploaded to Facebook were the ones I was supposed to upload and not those other ones....
Pay the garbage company because it's threatening to stop collection, even though your adult boys forget to take the garbage out two times out of three....
Add a piece yo your blog. Try to be funny.
Try to get your bum knee working by talking a short walk...remember to stretch first. That walking you did at the grocery store and Sam's club Saturday pretty much blew the good knee out...
Screw it. Count the trip into the drug store as your walk.

Jeez. What the hell are you going to this afternoon?

Double Jeopardy with Cheese

2011-06-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the networking business again- out where a friend is a friend of a friend of a friend.

Told you I was into folk music! I just folk processed Gene Autry's theme song right in front of you. Folkies call it the folk process. Everybody else calls it stealing (if Arlo Guthrie didn't say that, he certainly inspired me to write it).

Disclosure/CYA: There isn't just one company that does this, I've found, but McDonalds is is notorious for it.

Yeah, I'm hunting for work again.

Reminds of something I didn't complain about before: Disqualifying candidates who are submitted twice to one job.

Here in Chicagoland, we host a lot of large corporations. Most of them use consultants because we're throw away when the executive decisions come down or that particular area can't hire anyone more (they call a job 'head count,' which makes people who use that phrase without smirking, head cases, I think).

These larger organizations pick about a half dozen body shops, sorry, consulting or recruiting firms and, after proper computer connections for hiring and payroll and time logging (yes, payroll and time cards are separate things when you're a consultant- at one place, I had to enter and track my time in three different systems) these body shops are designated as 'preferred.'

Now the 'preferred' body shop....er consulting firm is the only type of firm with which the large corporation will deal. For the company, this reduces payroll and recruiting costs because the body shop... er recruiters are already vetted and on the systems required.

The consulting firm is then placed on an unofficial, off-line discount system, like Captain Kirk's Price Line. Smaller firms go through these preferred firms, discount a few dollars an hour off the contractor's overhead.

This can increases the cost of the contract or reduce the amount the contractor receives.

Guess which one usually happens?

Then, the large firm starts recruiting for itself, knowing that each hire/contract will cost it less than using a recruiting firm.

It also means us job hunters see job...er...'requirement' adds on the job boards with slightly different titles- some radically different- but the exact same requirements. We'll see adds from three sources:

The company- since it saves even more dough if it hires you.
Several preferred body shops. These recruiters make sure we know it and it's supposed to mean something to the contractor- trust me, very few of these 'preferred' firms will ever find you the next job. No matter what the recruiter told you when you were considering it. It;s sort of like military recruiting, I guess.
The independent small or individual firm which funnels candidates through the preferred companies.
The companies that employee green card holders well before the card holder should be speaking on the phone, much less trying to recruit you.

Great deal for the company. Really screws up us job hunters.

Now, to add to this circus, the large company disqualifies candidates who have more than one application for the contract.

Oh yeah, they often open multiple BA slots at the same time. They don't tell you what each opening is for which area-department-building-manager. Many times the job descriptions...sorry...requirements are boilerplate, templated copies.

Nice, hunh?

Now, we learn fast and we can describe your As-Is processes pretty well in a few hours. To-Be may take a while, but by the time those two models are working, we pretty much know your business.

So, why on earth, when some large corporation knows there are a gazillion ads for its one position, would they disqualify a candidate for two or more submissions or the lack of domain (industry) experience?

Industry knowledge can be helpful, but a. most businesses run pretty much the same- scaled, but the basics are all there no matter the company b. the BA is supposed to find requirements, processes, pain points, potential business opportunities and junk and c. It takes us only a few hours to learn and abstract the company's As-Is state...so the designing can get underway.

Seems to me, such HR "experts" would sort of want to pass such a candidate's resume on to the hiring manager. The candidate has been vetted by more than one firm. More than one person thinks the candidate is qualified.

This proves, at least to me, what we've all been thinking about for years:

Human Resources main purpose in the hiring process is to eliminate as many candidates as it can rather than find the most qualified candidate.

Oh yeah, one other thing...your HR software sucks, companies and recruiters-especially you recruiters. I continue to get recruited for: Java Developer, .Net Developer, Project Manager, Compliance Analyst, Help Desk Agent, QA Analyst. The software uses keywords and buzz phrases. Stop It. Or get analytical software with some basic understandings of keywords, searching and finding information. I worked in this area- and your stuff sucks.

Sort of like the way many IT folks use the word 'Agile' as "the next great thing." But that's another rant.

Stay tuned.

How I'm Spending My Spring Vacation

2011-05-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

Why me, Lord, what have I ever done?

Kris Kristofferson's song is vibrating in my head this month.

I'm looking for work again.

One company decided spending a couple of million to save almost 100 million wasn't worthwhile. I'm still having trouble with that one.

The company is going through a really painful transition that puts knowledge workers into projects when the worker's expertise is needed.

I whispered to colleagues that this is exactly what consulting firms have been doing for decades- no reaction- must be all the graphs, town hall meetings and giving everyone at least two bosses.

This paradigm introduces the concept of the 'bench.' This is the 'place' unassigned workers train, chip away at make-work projects or get laid off. Why should the company employ 67 resnagglers if it only needs 12 reflaggrationers?

That last part wasn't mentioned. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

Even Leaders said the company needs Knowledge Management and consistent governance to do this. At the very least, when Employee A is brought into the project s/he needs to be oriented. So Employee B needs to bring Employee A up to speed (here's where the project business case is located, the project plan is over here, this directory holds all the stuff your predecessor did, etc.).

That means two employees (probably more people since Employee B needs to eat and use the lavatory at times) are tied up for at least half a day just to get the newbie started. If the documents for each project were a. consistent, b. templated (mebbe even a web form?) and c. easy to find, Employee B would deal with much higher level issues, saving the company a grunch (technical term) of cash.

Nearest I can figure, someone renamed a database a 'knowledgebase,' so the leadership thinks the company already has KM.

Good luck with that.

The next job was a great place to work, wonderful manager- but it was initially a five week contract. I did what you'd expect in the third and fourth weeks and found another gig. when I told my recruiter how great it was working with him and his staff (seriously), he told me the company had just that day requested an extension for me. Jeez. I'd just accepted the new one.

Damn.

Of course, it turns out I should have kept the second contract.

I lasted one week at the third one.

My doctor sent me to the hospital for 'tests' since I was having breathing problems- couldn't make it from the parking garage to my cubicle with out 4 or 5 stops to catch my breath- people asking if I needed help and friends telling me I looked like....um...cah-cah.

Turns out we needed to adjust my atrial fibrillation med a little and needed a shot for arthritis in my left knee (!). I feel fine now and can walk all the way around Sam's Club and Aldi's. I was in one day more than my doc originally schedueled (damn cardiologists). My contract was canceled.

No real complaint from me. The project had to get started.

It's just that I attract this goofy stuff.

So, I'm looking again. My fingers are crossed nothing goofy's going to happen. I'm 24 pound lighter (and continuing- looooong way to go) and I'm mostly not smoking anymore. Very positive stuff.

So if you know of any openings, lemme know, eh?

Agile Shop Feh.

2011-03-24T19:04:00.001-07:00

Allstate started terminating many of its contractors a couple of weeks before I bailed in February. The permanent gig thing came very close, only as a result my close friend and boss pushing and shoving masterfully but no one coughed up the cash.

If I told you I can virtually guarantee you a very conservative and documented gazillion dollars savings per year- would you spend, say, two million?

Me, too.

We suspect there were two reasons none of the executives stepped up to the plate: 1. We weren't visible or showy (we were inundated with work) and 2. Many of those C-Level folks thought they already had Knowledge Management. They don't. They have a template vault and a couple of small databases with really cool names but little functionality. Oh well, it's a shame and would have been a boatload of fun. I hope it changes.

So, my cushy gig at Allstate is about ready to go bye-bye. I revise the old resume and start sending it out. A development shop downtown, using Agile methods, is looking for BAs. Senior BAs. It took about two days for me to find them and them to call me. We did three phone interviews (never, ever again) and I took the job.

I think this one was a record for me: it lasted five and one half hours. They seemed nice when i got there. I was huffing and puffing from the block long walk from Union Station. Being fat and out of shape is a bitch, especially if your knees start doing the funny things mine are.

The deal is, the team donates Thursday and Friday hours learning a new testing tool and we start work and start getting paid on Monday. While this sounded really strange to me (why doncha pay? it's just our policy, whaa? it costs me money to show up, yuh know)

The 'Scrum Master hands me a new Mac in a box like it's a big deal. I gulped and asked if we were doing the project in J2EE? No. Open Source (me: hunh?) Well, um, I probably should be using the same sort of machine the customer is using without having to relearn all that Mac stuff and virtually windowing it in a real hurry and I hate those single mouse buttons- is there a Windows Machine lying around? Strike One.

Scot, do you want Indian food for lunch? No, thanks, I brought my own lunch. Doncha like Indian Food? Um, not really- at least the things I've tried so far. Well the team has voted for Indian food (Mentally slapping my forehead with the palm of my hand, yuh think?). I just smile. Strike Two.

Now, I'm donating time to learn this really cool plain language tool that creates boundary, functional and regression testing. It's so cool, the developers don't code a thing until the tests are done.

Guess who writes the tests?

Yeah. The BAs.

Only as we go along, I find the 'plain language' is, once again, nothing but pseudo code which needs to be tweaked by the system master. And the phrase mapping makes little sense to me. I look around, I'm the only person on this team who would prefer to use plain language rather than use a glossary/dictionary in creating tests? Yup. Strike Three.

We get held over an extra half hour. I lose the chance to grab an express. The next train's at 6:40. I'm having a diabetic reaction as I huff and puff and rest...huff and puff and get to the station. Let's see....butter rum lifesavers. I pop 3 in my mouth and look around for a Pepsi.

I have about 30 seconds left in my cell battery, but the wife will pick me up. It's 7:35 in the evening.

I get home, shower and the wife hands me the phone as I crawl down the stairs.

"Scot?" Yeah.
"I left you a message." Sorry, Just got home.
"I've been home for a couple of hours." Oh (I think, 'that's because you live in Northbrook, asshole,. a totally different train line for rich people.' You'd be proud of me, I didn't say one word out loud).
'We're going to have to let you go.' Hunh?
"Yeah, your interpersonal skills and team building abilities weren't what we expected."And you're not going to give me a chance to adapt to your culture, is that it (and you could tell this after only five and a half hours)?
"No, sorry mate." OK. I hang up. I am very, very, very glad.

Wasn't meant to be. I just wish they'd paid me for the humiliating exercise and stopped me before I paid for a month's Metra pass. I can still use the new clothes.

Now, normally, I'd be crawling the walls with worry. Not this time for some reason.

I e-mailed my select network folks. It works right away. A former manager (you starting to see a trend here?) grabbed a peer and lied about me so well, I think the manager with the opening thought i should have a halo or something. Pro-forma interview and we're already talking about the first few projects. It's a five week contract, but she also has a permanent slot. Was I interested in that? Well, put your tongue back in your mouth and we'll talk after a month or so.

I took the job.

It's fun- so much so that if my former boss is successful and creates a f/t perm role, I'm going to have a really tough decision to make.

Friends. It's all about friends and relationships. I feel like I'm a Boy Scout again. Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful (OK, I'm still working on this one), Thrifty (my wife thinks I'm working on this one), Brave (I have driven to and from Northbrook and Hoffman Estates for many days sand lived to tell the tale), Clean and Reverent (OK, you're right, this last one's problematic, but I try to keep it to myself as much as can by biting my tongue).

Didn't think I'd remember that boy scout stuff, didja? Didn't even use Wikipedia to look it up. Scout's Honor.

Economy Getting Better?

2011-03-06T08:27:00.001-08:00

In my case, absolutely.

Last time out looking for work took 22 months.

Since Allstate is allegedly getting rid of hundreds of contractors by the end of this month, I got out. It took three days to find a job in an Agile Shop.

They were horrible communicators so our joint venture lasted exactly five point five hours. What that means, boys and girls, is just because they say they're Agile, it doesn't mean they're nice or understand anything other than team dynamics. Kids, it also means just because you have the title doesn't mean you're first amongst equals. Of course the converse is also true- don't through your weight around.

Funny how much you learn in five and half hours, isn't it?

So going back to Allstate was out (real shame- loved working with those folks and the projects were exciting if not being choked to death by internal politics), better reopen the Monster, Dice and CareerBuilder accounts.

All of a sudden, a 55 year old experienced BA is in demand. in long projects, short projects and permanent full time gigs.

Most of the idiot recruiters seem to have been squeezed out of the market. And I found if you just hang up on people who refuse to leave the script or I have ask "what did you say?" more than three times, you have a fine time.

Is it because you were closer to a job than you used to be which my most immediate past boss maintains?

Partly- people do treat you differently if you have a job. But with 25 million colleagues looking for work through no fault of their own, I'd hate to think employers are going to be so callous. My time spent in Labor Economics 485 suggests this won't be the case- the supply-demand curve is going to change (and aI hope significantly) over the next weeks.

Am I lucky? I thank that's good portion of it- as the comedian s say 'timing!' companies are starting to gear up and move new development. Which has some real impact for us BAs`, QAs (Quality Assurance professionals- Inspector Number 11 that okayed your underpants for sale), IAs (Information Architects- what BAs write (design and requirements stuff), IAs draw), Change Managers (trainers, implementation architects, Internet Domain experts and engineers).

I'm just hoping it's not a fluke.

And it feels good to be part of Sears' IT again. Good people.

Gulp

2011-02-22T10:43:00.001-08:00

I'm seeing things out here in unemployment land that really haven't changed much since my last dalliance:

HR and hiring managers throw kitchen sinks, bathtubs and 5 gal. bottled water bottles into each and every job listing.
They're not willing to pay for all that water and our kids are going to take it in the neck. Once I'd like to see realistic requirements...or know which ones are the most important, drop dead gotta have these.
They (the people with the job form) keep calling it a job requirement. A job requirement, you uneducated idiot, is 'needs at least six months experience in JCL,' not 'Business Analyst.'
And quit trying to cover up Abbott Labs. Uline left Waukegan a couple of months ago and other than Zebra Printers or Washburn Guitars, there's nothing up North except tea-baggers. Abbott doesn't pay contractors a living wage and the front doors should be built on skateboard metal wheels because they can't hold anyone there. Not like figuring out why is rocket science.
The English- challenged refuse to even read the job 'requirement.' I am not a developer you illiterate boilerplate, I am an analyst. Interwoven/Autonomy and Documentum are on my resume showing my abilities in custom portal creation, not revising templates.

How's that for Senior Business Analysis?

I'm going to hold out for a face 2 face interview this time. I had a five and a half hour session of blood sweat and tears for what I thought was going to be a dream job. Turns out they were ass holes. My fault. Should not have agreed to the gig over the phone.

That said, so far (both days) in this search, I've found four or five really good recruiters.

Sorry.

Recruiters with English as a first language.

I'm a car carrying liberal, but why are these companies putting language challenged people on the phone. Once I say, "I'm fine, how are you?" their script is blow to smithereens and they can't recover. They've lost sales time and they've eliminated still one more e-mail with attachment I could have sent out that no one will read.

The local recruiters feel much more professional- this anecdotal evidence may suggests the fast money idiots are back trying to sell time shares.

I hope so and I hope I'm wrong, but id IS me, right?

Jamming with High School Friends You Never Thought You had

2010-11-25T11:10:00.001-08:00

Today seems like a good day to be thankful for the wonderful times we've all had on FaceBook and especially last Sunday's Jam Session at Alan and Alouise' house- well before it sinks into the next flood.

Rich East High School's Classes of 1971-1975 are pretty much all up on FaceBook... probably because we're too cheap to buy classmates.com accounts.

Since graduating in 1973, I've learned to play a couple of chords on a guitar. I took two whole lessons going up and down the top top four frets and matching those tones to itty-bitty 'notes' on a sheet of paper.

After dumping the 'loaner' with action (space between the bottom of the string and the top of the particle wood fretboard) of about 14 inches or so, with Epiphone's version of a Gibson J-2000, my sister (who was a whiz) introduced me to 'chords' and you could actually play songs with 'em. Why, oh why, do we introduce people to guitars with #60 strings and action that rips the tips off your fingers?

I got me a dreadnought size to drown my voice out. At 18, I didn't think I could sing. After finding out about his cool thing called 'keys' it turns out my adenoidal bellowings weren't too bad. But that was far in the future when my better half, with exasperation in her voice, told me to hum the song against the chords and then change the capo position.

Jeez.

I'd been playing rhythm in a couple of folk ensembles for a few years and found that, pretty much, every guy in the Class of '73 did the same thing I did to find girls...learn three chords and buy yerself a capo to raise or lower the pitch. They continued practicing and learning from the folk-rock songs to which we were listening in the 70s.

They kept telling me they were horrible players.

I believed them.

So I suggested a jam session. Lots of flurrying around, excited talk and plansd akin to the Manhattan Project floated around FaceBook for about a month. I figured I'd blow the room away.

Wrong.

These guys were good. And while we had, let's see, Drama, Speech, Industrial Arts, Radio Station, Speech Team, Newspaper and a couple of niches even I wasn't aware of were represented and all the barriers of school were gone. Pffts
.
I wrote a blog on FaceBook about a year about how high school is a troubled time for many (OK, all of us) and what stunned me (and continues to do so even today) is how great these people are and I missed all of it between 1969 and 1973. Blinders and much too concerned with being vulnerable protecting myself.

Chip was kicking ass on his 12 string- playing so quietly I couldn't believe it was a 12 string. Who knew?
Dave turns out to live a bike ride from my house...just like when we were kids. I plan on doing just that and inviting him over to my house. After cleaning. He'll be waiting a while.He's killer mean when playing in A or E. Seriously. When we played Gloria he was all over it like a bad suite. I also had an opportunity to put the Fourth Grade Fish Tank and Freshman QSL Issues to rest, for which I'm mighty grateful. I did in a crowd so he wouldn't hit me. Turns out, he's too much a gentleman. He just let the air out of my tires. I'll be here all week- remember to tip your waitress.
Steve- I heard him before (in my basement) and he plays a very tasty acoustic guitar- he even brought a resonator guitar, which was trey kewl. He is so good, he hit all the fills in Poncho and Lefty exactly like my band's lead player does...almost to the note. And he bitched I was using barre chords. How can you not like someone like that?
Alan- all over Cat Stevens...I mean ALL OVER some of our favorite tunes from the 70s...and his Jimmy Page riffs were dead on. Wonderful Host. Five Stars.
Tom- Alan's brother and closer to my music (folk, old timey, acoustic blues sort of stuff) is as good on his music as his brother. Banging on his guitar, my foot. Cool songs, very cool songs and great taste. He's a member of the Old Towne School, so how could he not?
Mimi- Wow. Just Wow. Her significant other seems like a good guy as well.
Sheree- just as pretty and intelligent and delightful as in school. One of the women my radar said 'totally, absolutely way above your station in life.' Never partied with her or Mimi- and that's just enough of a rationale to kick myself.
Alouise- a delight for not only letting is use her basement, but to have around the party without a single sarcastic chuckle. Alan picked good.
Peggy- A SAINT- who the hell could have put up with me for 34 years? And a crack percussionist. Definitely out of my class. No, not High School.

Funny how your early mind games come up to kick you in the ass in Middle Age.

We missed a few folks and the short notice left out some folks who might otherwise have shown. We won't make that same mistake- because there will be a next time.

Team Clock

2010-09-27T15:57:00.001-07:00

I've got a friend from high school. Steve Ritter is his name.

He came over to my house a while back for a guitar jam and blew out the room. Haven't heard hide nor hair from him since. I don't think the rest of us were all that bad...

Now, in the wake of his "I don't usually play acoustic" (he has a $2500 Martin, I'm not stupid, Steve, just tome deaf) and doing electric riffs on heavy acoustic strings- the only thing I had going for me was my writing skill. I knew I was a better writer than he is. Had to be. He was in the plays while I was on the newspaper, yearbook and radio station.

Steve tells me he wrote a book, could I review it?

Sure- just had unemployment (ethics requires me to purchase stuff I review, especially from a friend) and getting used to a new job kinda delayed it.

Here goes:

Turns out the SOB is also a better writer than me.

Bastard.

Now I have no reason to live.

Seriously, though, Steve's book is titled Team Clock: A Guide to Breakthrough Teams.

Steve took the old group communication model (he uses the psychological version, which is the same goofy storming and norming, etc.). But Steve made almost the same leap Maslow (you remember- 'self actualized' and 'hierarchy of needs') made in the 1950s.

Team Building (communication) is a continuum, not like the seven steps for grieving. Ritter uses the face of a clock for his model... and the walks you all through the complete life cycle of a team. Any kind of team.

If you are a Project Manager, a Scrum Master, a Portfolio Manager, a Business Analyst or an Architect/Lead Developer, go buy this book.

All that PMI crap about inputs and outputs are nothing compared to what Steve's accomplished in 88 pages. And you don't have to memorize a thing.

There are direct application (pun intended) for software development teams.

Those just getting organized.

Those ready to take the plunge into Agile methods.

Those who's lead developer is now working for Google and pretty much everybody on the team thinks it's great, but why did she get the job and not me?

Oh, sure, if you need some help, the Team Clock Institute is standing by with operators waiting to take your call. i think they take American Express. And, yeah, if Steve and his colleagues are half as successful with your issues as he's been with those who confirmed his theories, you're going to wish you called him a long time ago.

But if you want to know (you PMs and BAs need to know this stuff a heckuva lot more than memorizing that certification drivel) how to motivate and manage your team. This book will explain. If you can help push your team out of the comfort zone into unknown or untried region- Steve has an outline and an example for you.

It's not a How To book. Steve wrote a Think About This Way book.

If my team was having major issues or I couldn't deduce what the problem was, I feel confident Steve and his team would find me an answer and a method of 'fixing it' or at least understanding it.

Team Clock is not a panacea. In fact, Steve mentions that there are times team members have to leave. But unlike goofy management books like The One Minute Manager, Ritter wrote a book that I can use as a team member and a team manager for years. Not many $20 investments can say the same.

Now that's out of the way:

Steve:

When did you become such jock?
You're killing me with three syllable words- there are perfectly good single syllable words, amigo: it's u-s-e, not utilize and t-i-t-l-e, not entitle (entitle means having a right to something). There are a couple others.
I'm just yanking your chain- you did a fabulous job. Very little psycho-babble and right to the point.

Now. How do I sweet talk him into our band?

What I'm doing on my Summer Vacation

2010-07-22T16:27:00.001-07:00

I had a couple of minutes last week, so I looked in the enterprise phone book. This is like Googling yourself. It turns out my new employer....er...client thinks I'm an Architect/Designer.

The boss says she doesn't have a problem with that because a. I can do and b. I pretty much am doing it, as a sort of junior- deputy-assistant, associate Architect. That means I have no clue about process, people or things. But I'm learning.

Anyway, I wanted to know what the heck an IT Architect does since I thought it was like a super Team Lead- the kind of person who lives and breathes data layers, web services and other tools we BAs usually nod at like we understand what they're saying. I figure as long as they draw the graphics, they can call that stuff anything they want.

It turns out, I was close- especially on the technical end. But it turns out it's more of a blend of skills and knowledge:

Architecture is a business in which technical knowledge, management, and an understanding of business are as important as design.- wikipedia

Designer? Yeah. I'm not a full fledged Information Architect, oooops! An Information Architect at my client's site is a regular old software architect, not a trained designer and requirements gatherer. Actually, that's the group I'm in.

Anyway.

I'm not a full-fledged web-designer-user experience specialist, but I play one on television. Everyone other than my boss thinks it's amazing I have more than one skill set. Muahahahahaha.

So, I'm writing and drawing, drawing and writing. We came up with the concept in the first couple of weeks and are now making the case for Knowledge Management. Oops. Sorry. Knowledge Sharing.

You have any idea how cool it is working for a place that could care less what titles and functions mean on the outside? It's confusing as hell. But its pretty cool.

Big and Small

2010-06-19T15:42:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been about a month.

I'm reminded constantly that I'm working at a big....large...um...HUGE company and the stuff I learned at the fast-agile firms in recent times ain't gonna cut it.

The saving grace is that I have the time to anticipate, to talk, to work things out with the really smart people I work with. And that's not a bad trade off.

Yeah, it sucks having your laptop locked down. It's worse using Internet Explorer 6 and Office 2003. But I'm beginning to understand why.

This company has about a gajillion (that's 1x10+3 higher than a bazillion) laptops and PCs out in the offices. I remember one agent's kid putting a Golf on his Agency PC. The kid didn't install it correctly and Dad's PC was toast. Of course, it was the IT department's fault.

So, a little sweet talk, a few sentences about how technical my gig is and a superb boss, I got local admin rights to the laptop, M/S Project, IE 8 and Snag It installed. OK. They gave me Snag IT Release 8 and Techsmith just released version 10- but 8 still has that great little image editor- which means I don't have to ask for PhotoShop.

I've been relying on the "people skills" I learned as a Parachuting Business Analyst (drop in for a few weeks and off to the next project). Yes, I should have learned these skills years ago- but a radio news guy is supposed to be a curmudgeon.

So, I've been listening carefully, holding off riffing with my strange, yet obscure sense of humor; until I know you very well- and even then I'm careful about my jokes. It's hard, but it beats getting fired. And it seems to be working pretty well.

I'm also trying really, really hard not to interrupt someone when they're speaking. Then I went to a status meeting of the Enterprise Architects. There wasn't a topic that didn't result in at least one interruption- except when the Director spoke. Hmmm. Kinda funny, no?

I'm using the extra time to extrapolate requirements and high level designs for what could be a terrific Capture/Store/Disseminate system based on existing, every day tools with a little bit of extra horsepower. If this goes the way I'm thinking it will, the only real issues we're going to have are cultural. But we're on top of that, too.

I'll ask the boss what's proprietary and what I can talk about as we go through the process. I'll letcha know.

I really like this gig- and I've been there for about a month.

Enterprise Architecture: Lincoln Logs for IT Folks

2010-06-05T17:03:00.001-07:00

It's been a couple of weeks and everything seems to be going well.

I'm working with an Enterprise Architect. As a sort of junior architect. The boss calls me a Knowledge Management Specialist since we're working on cool stuff like search engines, wikis, knowledge capture and knowledge dissemination. The gig's pretty high in the food chain, but I haven't stepped on my di....um....made a major mistake yet.

Relax. I didn't know what Enterprise Architecture was, either. And no, you don't get to design and build large companies in an artistic way.

It turns out, Enterprise Architects are like BAs, but on steroids.

They ask the questions when someone in a large organization wants to add, improve, replace or remove something. The architect makes sure the IT organization's standards are imposed on new projects at conception. The architect thinks and plans how new technologies will or will not fit and how to scale applications into usable tools. The architect makes sure the data is sourced and accurate (Oracle and SAP anyone?). And that everything is properly licensed, copyrighted and implemented.

The architects shepard projects through the minefield of IT Governance (that's big time talk for who's in charge of the 'puters). After the Architects get the major questions answered, they 'architect' the project. How does it fit into the mix of applications? Where should the database go? What kind of data base should the application use? How do we get the data from point A to point B. Document it. You get the idea.

There are Data Architects, Information Architects, Application Architects and Content Architects. There are probably other Architectural Types I haven't met yet.

The big difference between an Enterprise Architect and a Business Analyst is that as a BA, I was only worried about my project and how my team got its stuff done. This is as it should be.

But suppose the organization has 60-100 project going at any one time and a third of the BAs are like me? You know, Pragmatic and Focused so my boss looks good. Everyone would be pushing his or her project or portfolio. A mess. A chocolate mess (to those younger than Boomer age, that's how M and M Mars used to advertise M&M candy).

On this side of the Project Management Office, we're looking at how these projects support IT plans, objectives and how they fit into the mix of stuff already available. We got that information from the business. Because the business pays our salaries. And we like our salaries. The words 'align' and 'alignment' are used a lot. Align means do it the way the business needs it done to impact the bottom line, not the way you think it should be done.

So the boss wound up the key sticking out of my back (you know, where the recruiter and HR knives went in?) and set me onto five projects. Knowledge Management Projects (I feel like Bill Murray's character in Stripes when the General asks him what kind of training his platoon completed). Short leash (heck, it's only been a couple of weeks) but fun as all get out.

I'm drawing diagrams in VISIO, I'm writing up Business Rules. I'm creating project plans in Excel (having taken the Project course this spring, I'm sticking with Excel until I have to turn out a plan in Project- there's so much crap in that program you never use, it's results are counter intuitive and you can't adjust the defaults- and don't get me started on task numbering!) and having a lot of fun talking to Subject Matter Experts and Stakeholders.

See, I did a lot of KM back in the day. Much of that stuff had to be created custom in the 90s because, at best, folks were collaborating on NetMeeting. Word Docs and Spreadsheets floats around the world. We didn't know from WebEx, GoogleTools, Open Office, Instant Messaging, Twitter, Tweeting, Twisting or Twining.

That's changed. And it's an exciting change. And that's what we're gonna see: How Scot adapts to the Enterprise View and Knowledge Management 2010.

Tune in again, friends. Same Bat Channel. Same Bat time! (for the younger than Boomers out there- that's how the TV Series, Batman, used to sign off on ABC. Jeez, doesn't it suck to have a joke explained?)

Job Hunting Lessons Learned

2010-05-14T19:44:00.001-07:00

OK, last job search rant-- I start a new gig on Monday, Finally.

Here's what I learned:

I need to be comfortable with my resume. Changing job titles or 'punching up' qualifications is dishonest. Screw the recruiter who wants this done.

Recruiting 'experts' tell you your resume should be one page, no more than two pages, well, you can go to three if you're really qualified but you really need the last ten years. Screw that. I'm a consultant. I do different stuff on different projects. Even edited to the bone my resume takes five pages. My vitae is around 30. Could I edit it? Well, sure. But these HR software programs are looking for keywords and no one knows what those key words are. New resume for each job. Yeah, right.

Each recruiter has the same wind-up and pitch. The good ones are laughing while they do it. There are very few good ones.

I have never, ever, gotten a job from a downtown Chicago recruiter. Every time they demand I show up, I've wasted gas or train fare and/or parking money- around $40. And you are never reimbursed for it. When you're getting all of $314 per week for unemployment compensation, that takes a lot of nerve. From now on, I'm going to invoice them for my time and cost of travel next time.

If the hiring manager pauses slightly after you ask about next steps and says "Our process is a little cumbersome...." Hang Up. Immediately.

Don't get old in a job that pays more than $75K/year- Ageism, it's real.

Don't be real good in the job you had that paid more than $75K. It means no one will consider you for a lesser gig...anyone see a Catch 22 here?

A lot of HR people are flakes. Seriously. I think most of them are Psychology Majors.

A lot of hiring managers are worse than their HR staff (see above). I think these people are at the other end of the spectrum: Dilbert.

Does anyone else see the logical flaws in these massive meetings of 'networkers?' Why would I network with people who don't have a job? And am I the only one who feels silly about 'power networking?'

I've been told its because they may know something I don't.

Whaaaa?

You're telling me an electrical engineer is going to know when a software development firm is going to hire a BA?

Right.

I'm only going to network with people I really know.

One guy who tracked me down on LinkedIn aid he wanted my input on something and then spent an hour and a half on the phone with me. In boring detail, he told me how to get a job. It was such a good system that he had not only been out of work longer than me, he refused to introduce me to one of his contacts when I actually tried it.

Networking is phony, counterproductive, a waste of time> Worse, it gives you the illusion of actually doing something. Stick with people you actually know.

The job boards are pretty much populated by body shops.
Be careful of what you put on your Dice, Monster or LinkedIn profiles. The bodyshops, like HR software, have no ability discern nuance. I get a lot of matches for an IBM network tool called Tivoli. When I was with OCE-USA, we used a help desk software package called Expert Support. IBM bought the company that made it and put it into the Tivoli product line. Yes, my resume says Tivoli Expert Support.

They also can't read. I still get 'requirements' (when did a job become a requirement? When I became a number instead of a person?) for San Diego, New Jersey, Texas, etc. They want a BA for $25/hour for four years. When I reply and ask them to remove me from their listss, they started getting snippy in the last couple of months. "Well, your resume is on Monster,' or 'But your profile on Dice says...' Yes. It is. It also says I won't relocate...much less do it for $15/hour for a two month contract. What were you thinking?

Do you know how many times I was called by the same firm for the same job from the same LinkedIn, Monster or Dice Profile? One job resulted in 57 phone calls over two days. Of those, 12 were repeats from four different recruiting forms. And I was already in their systems but they never looked. Can you imagine how much unused horsepower is in those databases? And I actually got into the finals for the gig. And I was into it until the hiring manager told me she wasn't sure if he'd promote from within or take somebody from the outside. And the job is a technical support role, not what I advertised(for a BA). I'm till waiting to hear from her. Not.

There's a new business model out there- job sites are getting 'exclusive' listings and want cash money to let you see them. Some of them have free 'memberships' with 'basic' responses (JobFox, Ladders) and have unusually bad interfaces (JobFox- if the site has identified more than a couple of jobs for you, you're gonna be on line for a looooong time. And why is it I found more roles searching on aggregators than on the 'profile' on JobFox?).

And what's the deal with the date resets, Dice? CareerBuilder? When you reset dates, a lot of us think there are new listings, when in fact, you're wasting our time. Stop it.

Monster- didja have to go to flash? Taking a screen shot with EverNote is now impossible. And the log in i a pain in the neck. Stop it.

The only good way I see of hiring anyone is to get a prospect vetted by an upper level whatever (BA, PM, Developer, Architect, etc.) and then either test the candidate or let me demonstrate what I can do for you. No one did that. I've had phone screens with development leads, Project Managers, Chief Information Officers, Chief Technology Officers, president, HR generalists and 'other team members.' I'm sorry. Once or twice I had a BA interview.

The answers are:

Hidden Requirements you never seem to be able to track down. Someone in Detroit has all of them neatly typewritten and three days before you're off the project he says, "oh, didja want that?'(Question: What's the hardest thing facing a BA?)

A simple abstraction of the process- in a step action table, it includes at least one identified Actor (human or system) with a quantifiable goal. The title should be Verb-Predicate with a unique number from a consistent naming convention. Oh yeah- success and failure states would be nice with an overview and context explanation. You also need at least one color graphic for the managers). NOTE: Nobody ever reads it. (Question: What' a Use Case)

A quantifiable , 3-4 sentence abstract feature description with tests to determine if the feature is complete and is used to start the discussion between the developer and the end user. Can be placed on a 4x6 Card (Note: seems the Agile Book Authors have asked the Commissioner and 4 x 6 is the official card size) or on a wiki page. (Question: What is a User Story?)

An unidentified, highly educated and emotional visionary whose ideas kept coming and coming and coming. I shunted the visionary into a wiki Blog to capture the ideas and put them in the backlog and explained the process and why we had to concentrate on this small part of the project now so the business requirements would be met (Who was your worse client and how did you handle it?)

So how did I get my new job? I didn't. A close friend had a major project dumped on her at the right time, which allowed her to hire me for the third time. Not really kismet- someone who knows me, knows what I can do for her and her company (actually, my client company, now) on what I expect to be a major enterprise project.

Can't wait.

OK, let's get back to work and Analyzing Business!

Ubuntu Test Drives

2010-05-11T12:15:00.001-07:00

Well, I've had more than week to play with Ubuntu 10.04 and I think it's great. There are a few rocks out there, but overall, it's rock stable, feature rich and totally customizable.

Here's the good:

Ubuntu, the Open Source Community and a few business have pretty much every application you want. For free. With source code. With the ability to contact developers easily to suggest improvements and features. In other words, Screw the Ribbon. Open Office has everything you need, fer free, there's one exception which I'll discuss in the Disadvantages list.
It doesn't slow down.
You can blow off PhotoShop. The Open Source Gimp photo 'manipulator' and Open Office's Draw Program pretty much have all the features of PhotoShop and Correl Draw for vector and raster graphics files.
I've only seen one blue screen and it was my fault.
Much as I love Winamp, Rhythmbox pretty much beats it in every feature.
I can do without the Outlook replacement Evolution (fingers crossed) because, while it does everything Outlook does. I'm used to and like Thunderbird and its Lightning Add-In, I don't like the way Evolution' calendar works and I like having separated InBoxes for my e-mail accounts. This is obviously a matter of preference.
There are so few of us using it right now (comparatively speaking) that the evil forces of Virii and Malware pretty much don't care about us. Hence- while you should still run an Anti-Virus Program and software firewall (both free, of course), there's not much out there to hurt your 'puter.
You don't need Snag It. There are a couple of screen grabbers (free) that work very well.
Ubuntu comes with Open Source versions of Disk Burners, E-mail client. IM client (that will handle all of your IM accounts in a single screeen), FireFox (Linux Version- slightly different), a video editor, video viewer, print manager... yuddah, yuddah. In short, you can get started right after the installation is complete with new, free tools that work as well, if not better than Windows tools and applications.
It doesn't crash.
There are three ways to download and install software. Two are very easy. One isn't. So use the Ubuntu Software Center or Synetics Package Manager to handle this for you.
It doesn't crash.
Wireless not only worked right of the box, the client actually knew what security my system has and just asked for the password.
It doesn't crash.
If you have a smarphone, the makers of Ubuntu have a new service called Ubuntu One (actually it came out with release 9.04, but I had no idea what it was).... a combination Boxnet.net (i.e. secure cloud file space) and activesynch (for Windows Mobile) on Mozilla's Thunderbird. If you use the built-in email client called Evolution which synchs right out of the box. I don't like its calendar since I'm used to Lightning o the $10 a month for the synch service and 50 Gb of free cloud space is a good deal. You get 2 Gb for free.
It doesn't crash.
It will integrate all your social media- including Instant Messaging, Web Services and e-mail in a superb user interface.
Ir doesn't crash

Now there are some minor issues, nits, really:

Once I paid my first ten bucks to Ubuntu One, they took down the synch to Windows Mobile option. Arrrrgh.
While I can install Microsoft VISIO using the WINE application, and it will launch. It craps out very easily and consistently. Yes, I have a certified copy. I couldn't open a 2003 VISIO document and had to make due with creating a bunch of boxes in Draw. It worked, but was a pain. I use VISIO a lot, so I guess my next employer is going to have to gimme a laptop with Windows on it.
Do NOT put your media files on an external drive and have that drive unavailable when you launch Rhythmbox. It indexes media files on initiation and it has to re-index when you get your external drive up. You're supposed to be able to put media files up on your Ubuntu Cloud share, but I haven't had time to check that out yet.
The documentation (web-based) is fine for very unsophisticated users and walk them through simple processes and procedures. You really gotta dig for answers on the community wiki or other websites if you have something more complicated than installing a software package from Ubuntu Software Center. I spent a half hour finding out what to do with a *.bin file containing a program I wanted. It was a simple answer (you right click on it, change the properties by adding 'execute' permission and taking out 'read only' permission and then double click it or right click again and select EXECUTE).

Would I install it on my mother's machine? I'm actually thinking about it. She gets so much adware and malware on her machine it's not funny. I'm thinking not because you do have to be a little technical.

For my wife? Yew betcha. But she's a developer using Visual Studio, so that' out.

The kids? Like a shot. Fast, malware and spyware resistant, FREE software and IT DOESN'T CRASH. Yeah, I'm thinking about doing a demo for them.

Oh Yeah---did I mention it doesn't CRASH?

Ubuntu 10.04

2010-05-03T12:42:00.001-07:00

Well, it took a bit of doing, but I've got Ubuntu 10.04 LT on my Lenovo T-61 laptop. I had version 9.04 installed as a dual boot Windows XP/Ubuntu system. All of the issues I've identified were caused my me, not Microsoft nor Canonical, the company that creates and supports Ubuntu.

You say you're not sure what this stuff is? Well, you must have heard of UNIX, right? UNIX (and there are variety of flavors out there such as Sun OS, AT & T, etc.) usually runs on what used to be called 'mini-computers,' which used to be between a PC and a Mainframe. Now it runs on what are known as 'workstations,' which are nothing more than really beefed up PCs. Anyway, LINUX is UNIX which can run on your PC.

The problem has been that despite installation scripts, graphical user interfaces and better installation programs, LINUX has been the haven for the technical among us. Until Ubuntu.

Ubuntu has a philosophy. And in its most recent revisions, shown that it can replace your Microsoft or Apple-centered operating system (in fact, one of the reasons Apple moved away from the Motorola Chips a few years back was to get the Intel x86 architecture. OS 10 and above are based on LINUX.

With Ubuntu, you download a file (called in image file) and burn it to a CD. You then boot your PC with the CD. After it boots, you have the option of playing with Ubuntu to see if you like it, or install it on your PC.

Here's where Ubuntu shines over many other forms of LINUX (because the operating system is 'open source,' anyone can change, adapt and create his/her own version...just like the different flavors of UNIX) since the installation routines have been honed for several years. And its very easy to do.

You have a couple of decisions to make during the install. Of course, I blew it. The power was going on and off during a storm and I had to get it done so I could re-do my resume. This is a recipe for disaster.

The first decision you have to make is whether you want to run Ubuntu as the sole operating system on your PC or with Windows or OS 10. If you pick the former, the installation program completely reformats your hard drive and then installs the new OS. If you select the second option (which I did), Ubuntu adds a 'boot manager.'

This is a program that interrupts your PC's start-up routines and allows you to use either Windows/OS 10 or LINUX. This is what got trashed on the second of my installations. Yeah, I know. I use a laptop and the battery should have taken care of it.

Except the battery wasn't installed because I read an article that says you sharply reduce the life of a Lithium battery by not using it and charging it well before it needs to be charged.

Then, I had trouble. Lord did I have trouble. I knew what I did and knew what I had to do to get out of it. I rebooted into the setup routine.

And pressed the wrong button without realizing it (because I didn't read the damn screen). Big Shot IT professional.

I pressed the button that lays in Ubuntu as the only operating system. And I didn't realize what I had done until the re-format routine was half over.

Office 2003. Gone. All my e-mail archives. Gone. All my resume and archive files. Gone. All my website files. Gone.

Wait a sec.

Ubuntu comes with Open Office (a free, open source Microsoft Office replacement) right out of the box.

It comes with FireFox. XMarks will re-synch all my bookmarks. The password synching didn't work for some reason.

It comes with GIMP, an open source alternative to PhotoShop. It also comes with free Instant Messaging, integrated E-Mail/Personal Information Manager (Evolution), allows you to install Thunderbird and its Lightning add-in and a raft of other 'must have' utilities.

There are dozens of free, downloadable open source programs. In fact, Ubuntu doesn't use the Synaptic Program Manager anymore- it has its own Add/Delete software utility now.

The interface is much cleaner than before. All those upper panel icons have been grouped together to make things a lot easier to find.

Hmmm.

Yes, I can install Microsoft Project and VISIO (the only programs that the open source community or Apple have no replacements for) using WINE- a real time application that allows you to run Windows programs under LINUX without the hurky-jerky screens we used to see on Apple machines running similar utilities.

Version 10.04 comes with integrated social media (a one stop application that gathers all the Tweets, Status Changes and FaceBook attaboys you got).

It integrates with Ubuntu One. That's a web site in the 'Internet cloud' that automatically gives you 2 Gigs of free, integrated data space and the option to pay $10/month for 50Gb (yeah, you read that correctly) AND will synch your Smart Phone (even my Windows Mobile 6!).

Maybe I won't miss Windows much at all.

It's been five days and there's been no withdrawl symptoms at all.

I recommend you run it in a dual boot configuration like I did for a few months so you can ease yourself into it. There's a lot to learn if you have trouble (and I realized I had trouble with R9.04- WINE didn't work, the OS didn't recognize the SD Card Reader nor the USB connection to my phone) and it was because of the multiple installs I did on 9.04.

Don't do that.

Back To Work

2010-04-19T15:34:00.001-07:00

I go back to work, this time as a Project Manager for a nationally known retail operation based in Hoffman Estates, IL. I'll probably start on Wednesday or Thursday, but fully expect the the start date to push to next Monday. Hiring managers at this place have a lot to do to bring in a new contractor. This will be my third go round and this may be the charm.

With an unprecedented positive recommendation from a previous IT manager, the new boss was pretty well convinced he'd hired me before I came in for the face to face interview. That's what the recruiter said. This time he was right.

That was amazing. Thanks Nancy!

As usual, it took less than a day to get confirmation for the contract. Every job I've ever gotten resulted in the offer or confirmation taking hours instead of days. Once or twice it took as long as two days- but never any longer. In the latest round of interviews and waiting for the rejection phone call, e-mail or letter, I think offers were extended to other people (when I made it that far) and I was the 'back-up.' Of course, I may think too much of myself.It just might be I'm too old, made too much money or a combination of the three.

The new contract's supposed to run 4-6 months. In the interview, my new boss listed the projects his team will have to handle in the next 12-24 months. I believe he was telling me there's a perm gig in it for me, if I don't step on my....er....keep my nose clean. The recruiter thinks the same.

I had no idea Loyalty Programs could keep that many folks employed for that many projects over that length of time.

Thank Goodness for Marketing. Yeah, you heard me.

The journalist in me cringes when I say that because I've seen marketing and PR communications bombarding the newsrooms I managed.

Since then, I've worked three or four marketing projects and as visionary, pie in the sky and wishful thinking as these folks tend to be, the checks don't bounce and I learned the application isn't mine. It's theirs.

I'm an IT Project Manager now, pretty cool, hunh?

I gotta keep studying for my Microsoft Project and PMI PMP credentials or I'll lose access to the on-line question bank. I've found that pretty good for study.

It'll take a little while to get used to getting up at a reasonable hour more than once a week. So, I'm thinking I'll read and test in the evenings and maybe 8-10 hours a day on the weekend until I'm ready. I hope the new place will give me time off to take the tests. If I was smarter, i would have done all of this over the last 3-4 weeks.But I'm not and job hunting was a much higher priority.

As one Blog Commenter told me, Good. Maybe now you'll quick all that whining.

Probably. But if you've been looking for work over the last two years and know your elbow from your foot, you know I didn't exaggerate anything. And writing this blog with all the rants helped keep me sane. That and the Wellbutrin, Xanex and my wife.

But that's over, hopefully for a while- worst case for 4-6 months.

I hope to have some non-proprietary detail on how small teams in a huge IT arena handle development, project management and some generic info on Loyalty Programs. I've dome them on the BA side, so the PM side ought to be very interesting.

Thanks for sticking with me on this drive to be productive and back to work!

If Anything Can Go Wrong...

2010-04-06T13:41:00.001-07:00

...it will. Murphy has to have had my search for work in mind.

This latest one is classic.

The company advertised for a permanent full time Business Analyst.

I got 64 (I'm not kidding) phone calls on this. My LinkedIn Profile is working, I guess. And two dozen e-mails. You know the ones- created in Java or a PDF so you can't do anything with it

I went with the first guy who called me.

Two days later, the company called my recruiter, said it wanted a phone screen. Great!

The phone screen was done by the incumbent. The company is smart enough to allow some overlap. Support Content Management, check; Lead Projects for enhancements, check; create and troubleshoot reports from a data warehouse, check. Great, the hiring manager will get my notes and we'll get back to you.

Three days later they want another phone interview. Hmmm.

The hiring manager is still screening. So what was the time I spent out of class invested in? Nothing, obviously, thought the suspicious former reporter now Business Analyst without a job. Yeah, forgot to tell you, I was in a certification class for the first interview.

I call in. We talk. The manager keeps harping on supporting the Content Management System. No, the manager didn't expect any major or minor enhancement for quite a while. No, you wouldn't be creating reports so much as trouble shooting them.

So you advertised for a Business Analyst because........?

Hmmm. The manager wants a Level Two Technical Representative, not a BA.

The last zinger occurs when I ask about the next steps.

"I'm not sure," says the hiring manager, "If we decide to go outside the team, we'd call you in for a face to face interview."

Go "outside the team"?

"Yes, I know we have people on the team who can do this, I just haven't decided if that's the route I want to go," the hiring manager says.

I politely say goodbye while making a rude gesture as I hang up the phone. It's an old Help Desk trick to lower your frustration level without getting into trouble.

So, the bottom line is:

The company's job listing, if not an outright lie, was misleading.
The inequitable playing field (she has a job, I don't) just became more so because I'm competing with people she already knows and who obviously have more domain experience than I do.
There ain't a chance in Hell I'm getting this job, the manager's doing this to fulfill corporate policy and this was just a numbers game.

If the manager calls back and wants a face to face (which I doubt will happen- trust me, I've been looking for work for over 18 months now), I will politely tell the manager that I'm not interested any longer and have accepted an offer with a competitor as it's new CTO (Chief Technical Officer).

I like Cornell's corollary to Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.

Feeding Frenzy

2010-03-17T11:08:00.001-07:00

So I'm about ready to open my Project Management Professional manual to start studying this morning. When I got the first phone call. Every single one of them is the same:

Me: Hello, this is Scot.
Recruiter: Hello, Yes, is this Scot?
ME: This is Scot
Recruiter: Hello, Scot, How are You today?
Me: Fine, you?
Recruiter: <long Pause> um, fine, thank you very much. This is <insert non-Western name here> from <insert goobledy gook because the recruiting companies don't seem to care that their recruiters speak terrible English). Is this a good time to talk?
Me: Sure
Recruiter: um, yes....Scot, I have an immediate need for a Business Analyst in Chicago, IL with Documentum and Micro Strategies would you be interested?
Me: Depends, where is it and what kind of hourly range are we talking about.
Recruiter: Ah, very good, um it says Chicago, Illinois.
Me: Well, the Chicago area goes all the way from Joliet North to the Wisconsin Line and as far west as Bannockburn. That means my commuting time and cost would determine if I could take the contract or not.
Recruiter: What is your best rate?
Me: <getting pissed> Um, anything above $45/hour if it's downtown or within ten miles of my house. More if they want a senior role and even more if they want a BA/Project Manager.
Recruiter: $45? That's within our range.
Me: <pissed off now and knowing the offer is going to $47/hour> I said anything above $45 per hour.
Recruiter: Would $48 per hour be satisfactory?
Me: <visibly pleased about the potential of making an extra $8 per week> Yeah, I can do that. Who's the client?
Recruiter: <proprietary information> (the world's second largest soft drink company, the Choice of a New Generation, which is no win its 50s)
Me: Sorry, I was presented yesterday for that role and you're the twelfth caller in the last three hours.

Yes, I got 12 calls this morning from people who search my LinkedIn, Monster, Dice and CareerBuilder profiles. And 8 e-mails. All with the same role. Unknown to these intrepid seekers of commission, another, faster company with people who don't speak English that well got a hold of me yesterday and offered me $50/hour.

That $50 is straight time- no benefits, no overtime. While it's W-2, I couldn't take it if the wife wasn't working as a Developer/Analyst with a company that doesn't immediately dump its workers.

So, here are my 'take-aways:'

Recruiters are finally becoming wise to the internet and job boards.
Recruiting Company Employees can't read. They keep calling my cell phone even though I marked my home phone as the preferred contact method. I get a lousy cell signal in my basement office.
Recruiting Companies don't look in their own databases. I had applied to other jobs posted by three quarters of the companies that called me.
Recruiting companies need to practice their recruiters on everyday American English. Sorry, but that's the common language here. As liberal as I am (which is plenty liberal), this is one thing that annoys the hell out of me. If you're going to work in a public arena, learn the language.

If history is any indicator- this belly-aching won't mean much since I probably won't even get a phone screen.

Agile and Finger Pointing

2010-02-17T11:59:00.001-08:00

Anytime there's been a failure on a project in iterative and waterfall methods, the first thing you see is finger pointing. Either as a CYA maneuver or as a means, they think, of root cause analysis

The Business tells the DevTeam it should have been able to deliver what it wanted or needed in time to make <fill in the blank here>.
The DevTeam tells the business in a slow, methodical manner that when one keeps adding more and more features and more and more complexity, one needs to either add additional developers or stretch the final release to a more reasonable time.

And you know something? both sides are right.

Both sides can point to pieces of paper that tell them they are right. Which is cool because they can use that paper to wipe off their lathered faces.

Remember that one of the Agile goals is to generate useful code, not create documentation. Despite what may appear to be a stand that goes against my vocational goals (BAs control the documentation in Waterfall and Iterative projects), I think a pile of paper is counterproductive. M-Gates be damned.

I've more important stuff to do than write stuff that no one reads. So do you.

Unless, and this is important, you have regulatory requirements (HIPPA, SOX, FDA, etc) or the customer wants documentation (in which case, you find out what they want and chances are it's usually a user manual or Admin manual which I can whip up in less than a week- usually).

The only place I've worked where the business actually read Use Cases (instead of looking at my color flow charts) was at a pretty big company. The managers there knew a multi-million dollar application which touched pretty much every server or mainframe in the house probably required them to read the Use Cases. And they provided superb feedback (at least to me). But the developers weren't reading the use cases.; And Because our company didn't allow us (the BAs and there were a lot of us) to talk to the developers, you wouldn't believe what the issues list looked like.

Just before everything blew up, we had a meeting. We were going to make this Agile stuff work, damn it. All we need is a new template.

A template for what, I asked
For requirements!
You think a template is going to clean up the process?
Yes!
No, templates only help standardize the results of requirements gathering...we have a governance issue.
Sit down, Scot.
I gave them all the reasons we weren't Agile.
We are MODIFIED Agile

Obviously, no one in my company had read the Agile Manifesto. Agile, by definition, adjusts to change and issues. There's no such thing as 'Modified Agile,' because all Agile projects are modified (Teams are self organizing, remember?).

But the finger pointing stopped, by gosh. One day the champion came over to our area and asked us all to get our stuff and leave. We piled all the stuff in our manager's trunk- he had no idea what was going on. A week later we all found out that our company hadn't been paid for five months before they hired me. I can guess the reason. But the finger pointing stopped, by golly!

I won't tell you an Agile Project can't fail. They have and they will continue to for a variety of reasons- scalability comes immediately to mind as does risk management and lack of buy-in.

But done with a little bit of care and a committed business unit, Agile eliminates the finger pointing.

God I hate finger pointing. Let's just figure out what went wrong and fix it. Anyone can make a mistake.

No matter how many SMEs (Subject Matter Experts), Stakeholders and champions you think you have on your team, it won't work unless the business frees the application owner or designate to spend a significant amount of time on the project (say 25-50% depending on how well communication works). This person needs to be able to:

Make decisions for the business.
Negotiate sprint features lists with me (the Business Analyst).
Help me develop the road map.
Coordinate Change Management with me or assist in coordinating with the business' own Change Management Team.
Attend as many Scrum/Stand Up Meetings as possible.
Perform the same Alpha tests that I do on a new build in production.
Cheer lead for the end users to play with the application and get feedback.
Co-Plan each UAT (User Acceptance Test) round with me so we're actually testing requirements.
Let me help them create User Stories and tests. Agile is test-driven and the developer needs to know when s/he is done. So do I, so I can test boundaries and functionality.
And stay on top of everything like the Project Manager and me.

If you were spending $250K or more for an application, wouldn't you want to avoid counterproductive finger pointing and bring the project in on time and withing budget?

I thought so.

Assign a decision maker to the development team and back them up when the need arises.

Fixes for FaceBook

2010-02-11T13:33:00.000-08:00

OK, friends and neighbors, it turns out we do not have to take this constant change of FaceBook sitting down. You have to get a little geeky, but it's pretty simple. if you follow these instructions you should be just fine.

What we're doing is adding a 'scripting' program to Firefox called Greasemonkey, three scripts and a program to manage your scripts to make things as easy as possible.

Greasemonkey and its scripts are designed specifically to do the sorts of things we're going to do. There are hundreds of available, free scripts so you do not need to be a programmer. The scripts alter the way Firefox displays pages... including the never ending changes to FaceBook.

You have to install and use Mozilla Firefox, latest release (3.6) because that's what I'm using and no, I'm not gonna test it on anything else. Go here if you don't already have Firefox 3.6. Install it over your older version, you don't need nor want it. If you really think you need the older version, this procedure may work. It may not. If it doesn't, I told you so and you'll need to go back and install 3.6 anyway. Is this making any sense?
Install the add-on called Greasemonkey.
Install the add-in Greasefire.

Allow Firefox to shutdown and restart.
Click Tools, then Add ons on the Firefox Tool bar:

Click the Greasefire add on and 'update' the list:

Open FireFox to your FaceBook homepage. Then click TOOLS|ADD ons again until you reach Greasmonkey. Add the three items you see below:

Close everything up except FireFox and your home page will look like this:

You will see a new icon at the bottom of FireFox, this is the Greasemonkey Icon.

If you want to delve deeper (like find the script options, or finding other scripts), lemme know and I'll try to help. Or you could read the same web pages I did (They're all marked above).

Vocational Testing

2010-01-31T14:47:00.000-08:00

Let's bring everybody up to date:

October 2008, Scot and about 17 others were let go when their company didn't handle the client's expectations;or the client was going to steal 'proprietary code.' I think it was the former rather the later. The 'proprietary code' was a simple flash reader that allowed annotation...exactly...ten years old. The other stuff in the application was simple database and UI implementation of the client's business rules. Complex as all get out, but not real hard. And nothing any other Java or .Net should couldn't have replicated very easily.

November 2009 (yep, a full 13 months) Scot got a short -time contract- great people, enjoyed it and there's a possibility of a the company calling me back.

In the mean time, I either have to find something more stable or freelance. I'm, of course, doing both.

So part of the deal is getting training. I was thinking about getting PMP from PMI (Project Management Professional certification from Project Management Institute, so, I applied. Last September.

They got back to me this week. One of the bazillion links in the packet to get your voucher included a 'skills assessment,' which turned out to be a list of personal values. Kind of like the Minnesota Multiphasic meets The One Minute Manager in Senora, Mexico, Bizarre and warped. I think Salvidor Dali wrote this thing.

Now, by looking over around 100 values (not skills, sorry, U of G but that's probably one of the reasons you guys are so low academically) and selecting five values that I get "a great deal of pleasure from,' ten values that give me a 'moderate amount of pleasure' and 20 values that give me a little pleasure (but not pain).

They rank each result 1 to 100. There's only one over 50: 61 for Industrial Production Manager. Hmmm. This 'tool' thinks there's a clipboard in my future.
Police and Detective Supervisor? I hate mysteries. I used to cover cop shops all over the upper Midwest. No thanks. If I want paramilitary, I'll rejoin Civil Air Patrol.

Agricultural Engineer? That's U.S. Bureau of Labor-speak for farmer, right? Or is the Extension Agent with which I always ended doing a monthly interview, in all the markets I worked? Good call, Georgia! I'm probably the only person in the U.S. that says subsidizing farmers is wrong. They call it a lifestyle. My rejoinder is simple: no one subsidizes my lifestyle, why in the world should I subsidize yours?

Curator? Just shoot me.

Technical Writer? OK, that's one good one. But they don't make enough cash for the mental anguish.

Business Executive? I couldn't stop laughing.

Human Resources? Don't think so, I worked with a GREAT HR director and that ain't gonna happen.

I have no idea what an Operations Research Analyst is, unless that's the guy who shows his butt crack when he removes the PC that fouled up on your desk because they wouldn't give me admin rights.

Economist? See Curator

The IT stuff? Second good call

Arbitrator? I'd just knock heads and rule for the little guy all the time. Besides, that's just a baby Arbitrager, right?

Numerical Control Tool Programmer? Dunno. If there was an Alphabetic Control Tool Programmer, I might think about it.

Aerospace Engineer--- actually all the engineers: I was a child of the 60s and if I was involved, that time a programmer switched decimal to hex and the satellite was like at Mars already? I would have done that four or five times so it wouldn't have made any difference. It'd be a toaster now.

Historian? Yeah, OK. Third good call. One of my B.A. Minors.

Sociologist? Maybe, another minor.

Storage and Transportation Manager- I've seen those guys. They're bigger than me. No Thanks.

So, your help is solicited- I'm thinking a PMP boot camp and ITIL. The state pays for the test and the trainer helps you put the freaking Vitae together (which is why I never tool the CBAP test- I resent having reviewed the Business Analyst Body of Knowledge and then spend five or six weeks getting details together. I figure PMI makes sense, since the Project Manager function is pretty set, the BA rols is still in a state of flux now that Agile is the method of choice for good shops.

Leave a comment. You may have a better idea than I do!

An End User's Experience with Cataract Surgery.

2010-01-14T16:49:00.001-08:00

So the eye doctor's office called twice with time changes for me to head to the hospital. They finally settled on the original time. I liked being in the loop, but good lord!

Brian, youngest son, drops me off at the curb. He's gonna stay in the car, play the radio and play with his new Android phone. Hmmmmm.

I walk in, go to the Outpatient Services Desk and say, "Okay, I'm here. Cut me."

Both ladies behind the desk laugh and the one closest to me says turn around, walk to your right, past the gift shop and go to Outpatient Surgery Desk.

This is not looking good.

Same joke gets same reaction. Please sit down Mr. Witt and we'll call you when we have a room.

Have a room, I say to myself, what was all the dicking around over times all about then. As I reached for my phone to play BubbleBlaster (no clue why I like it, it's a dumb game but I love it) a lday comes up to me ascorts me to my room. No bed, just a lounger.

This won't hurt a bit. She's right. The IV needle didn't hurt at all. I want her to do all my sticking from now on.

We're going to put the goop into your eye now. Goop?

Lidocaine in a gel. Now I know what lidocaine is from the TV shows.

Three times. Goopy crap. But my eye is numb as a post now.

"Hi, I'm Tim, please get up on the gurney and we'll wheel you in." Turns out- he's the anesthesiologist. He keeps telling about the 'couple of cocktails we're going to give you.'

He straps in the blood pressure cuff, inserts the O2 hose in my nose and says he's starting now.

Nuthin. The only good part of the procedure was the professional grade drugs. Yes. I am a child of the 60s.

My eye doctor opens my lids with a contraption that looks like it came out of the Marquis de Sade's basement. Eye's numb, no problem.

15 years ago he went in on top of the cornea. This time it was the side. Either way, the procedure (see? I can talk like a Doctor, too) lasted all of ten minutes. And they let me out of the hospital five minutes after I got back to the room.

No glasses. Didn't really need them now. It was like looking through a quart milk bottle (remember those?) with about a half inch of milk still in it. It seemed fuzzy as well so I went to the mirror and looked through the eye. Just as good as the other one in terns of acuity....at least when the haze goes away.

Now, I have a few follow-ups and have to put prednizone drops in my eyes every two hours (they sting, but make the eye feel better. And a few more drops. Drops, lottsa drops. I had on bottle of drops 15 years ago.

Maybe they haven't advanced the science so much...

School Days, Dear Old Golden Rule Days.

2010-01-10T17:02:00.000-08:00

Youth is wasted on the young. Mark Twain

For some strange and interesting reason most of the Class of 1973, Rich Township East High School, Park Forest, IL are up on FaceBook. It suprized the hell out of me. I occaisionaly searched the goofy alumni websites but there'd only be one or two folks up there and I didn't know them very well. If I remember correctly, we had around 430 graduates. I could be wrong- I often am.

What I find exceedingly and embarassingly interesting was how wrong, way, way wrong I was about the people in my class, how we all stuck to our little cliques to protect ourselves with people exactly like us. I heard someone recently call High School the only place you protect your body AND your soul. How right that was.

Here's just a few of the things I've found out in the last three or four months that amaze me and make me sad I was such a dope back then:

I thought my best friend and I were the only liberals. We'd canvassed for McCarthy and a couple of more local folks and found out our hometown (Park Forest, IL) was a Republican Bastion...sort of like Wheaton without the College. Almost every single one of the folks I've found up here were (and are) just as liberal as Chris and Me. And I never knew. Yeah, there are a few neoconservatives in the class, but most of them moved to Southern or Western States where they're probably more comfortable anyway. I just simply don't talk politics with them. I already have heart disease.
We had a lot of spectacular looking young women at that school. I *always* felt out of my league. Turns out- they're all extremely warm, intelligent and still very good looking. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and have absolutely no plans to leave... but one *does* wonder what might have happened if one wasn't so self-aware, scared, intimidated and had a few chips on the shoulder. Do all kids go through this? I know we all think puberty sucks, but I saw a lot of poeple having parties on the weekends and suppporting each other. Could have made a difference in my own experience.
I've been invited to vacation at about a dozen places by these folks. Even if we can't plow through and see some of them, it made each of my days when that happened. Not so much for a free meal or a jam session, but to think they'd go out of their way for me when I was in some really narrow and goofy cliques.
One young women for whom I was rabid (remember them days of constant hormone movement?) called me a 'geek.' Now, I've never worked for the circus and certainly never cut off chicken heads with my mouth, so I asked her what she meant (it coulda been extremely embarassing). She said- oh, only that you're smart. Me?!? Boy I musta pulled the wool over the eyes of a buncha peoples' eyes (she and I hardly mixed, weren't in many classes together) because I never, ever thought of myself that way. My former best friend in the entire world said the same thing a few years ago. I remain astonished, embarassed and foolish. If I was so smart, how come I didn't get a scholarship or get on the It's Academic Team or last more than a year in Debate? Looking back, I think it was immaturity and excessive competetiveness. And being a jerk, of course.
Music. Suprized the bejesus out me when one of the popular women from 4th grade through graduation told me she now lives near Teluride and invited me out to jam. She also said her mother was going to the same anti-war rallies Chris and I were going to (!). Another friend came over the house one Saturday and jammed with my music friends and freaked me out- he was doing much of the same stuff I do- except he knows barre chords and stuff. When I posted a YouTube clip of a Pete Seeger/Wood Guthrie promotional film on my facebook page- I got a LOT of comments. And most of them have stayed current with the music as well. That's soooo coool in my book. Music has always my raod to spirituality- not classical stuff, stuff you can play in your own living room with friends- share and enjoy. It took me 40 years to realize that and a second time to get my calluses back (never, ever, again) but I did.

I don't think my classmates are all that unusual. Well. Now that I think about it, it IS unusually for 54 year old men and women to hop up to FaceBook, expecially with the lousy numbers we keep getting from women on use of th einternet ((but the numbers are getting better). But other than that, they'r enjoying their kids and grand children just like I am and preparing for retirement, which I can't do yet.

We all pretended, though, that the town we grew up in, a post WWII bedroom community and the first planned community ever (Take THAT, Leavittown) was special. But it was only special for the white, suburban ethos which many communities have. While our town was desegregated and pretty much welcomed everyone and had a complete housing inventory, we had very few black familys, Muslim Familys or Chicano Families. They simply couldn't afford to live there. So it was privileged. And everybody could stay out late at the playground, guys, we're talking the 50s and 60s here.

I have enjoyed reconnecting with people whom I'd only nodded to in the hallways or whose lockers were next to mine. And I'm glad I have a much better picture of them. Before this, I thought my time in high school was the worst period of my life- isolated, scared, falling in love every hour and a half with someone new and keeping it all inside. I even wrote a year end column for the newspaper that was, um, caustic. I was pissed off for 30 years that the Speech Coach forced me to audition as a Senior against a Sophmore for state competition. I think he was angry at me for the way the Debate Team (when I was on it) brought his effeminant mannerisms to ridicule, He was actually the first MetroSexual I ever knew, but I couldn't care less. I think he was punishing me for the Debaters as well as getting his own boy (our former head coach moved to another district high school my Senior year) state experience. I was 40 years old before I let that go. He wound up at one of the local high schools here in the western suburbs. He was a principal. I think often about stopping by and beating the shit out of him. But I didn't. I should have. I wanted to. He deserved it. But what would that say about me? And I could imagine the headlines: Radio News Guy Beats Former Coach. Not good. That's when I let it go.

So.

I am enjoying my classmates immensely. They are far, far better people than I thought, even though I knew intellectually that sterotyping is stupid.

I may even show up at the next reunion. I gotta get back on that diet...

Working Retail

2010-01-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally got me a job. It's consultant work, but the pay's pretty good and the people I work with are great.

The job is for a large retailer with a lot of stores. My six week gig (over yesterday, 12/31/2009) was to get enough documentation together so they could price it. I initially suggested a high level functional and technical document combined with a Function Point count.

Typically I use a PowerPoint template I stole...um...borrowed...er...folk processed from a former company and Functional Requirements Document (usually around 5 to 10 pages). I usually leave the technical paper to the architect or lead developer. What do I know about which indexing system to use- typical Relational Database or Data Warehousing standards? I'd be guessing.

Turns out the Project Manager is hell on wheels and did most of the documentation. After some requirements gathering sessions, I began to understand what the business wanted: a tool to tracking and assign work to retail stores with some sideways bells and whistles. Since my previous work there had major governance issues, I figured they would use Waterfall. Hence the Use Cases.

Wrong.

The first one almost created a riot. 13 pages? Sub-Use Cases? Diagrams? And you want me to sign off on this IT stuff?

Well, first of all, between the front matter and the sign-off forms in the back, it's only 7 pages. And of those seven page, all of them are beautiful color graphics which leaves two pages of text- the Step Action table of the actual Use Case and about a dozen business rules which I inferred from our meetings.

No! A thousand times no, you pathetic excuse for a BA.

Hmmm. How about an Agile approach. I'll give you cave drawings and you sign off on them?

Yes, that's better, BA Boy.

So I created eleven major wireframes and defined all the fields, buttons and controls in a two column table, complete with bolded headers and bullet lists.

I don't like these icons.
This stuff is not at all intuitive, you need to change this (two days before my contract ended)
Where did you get these dashboard numbers, just make them up so we could see what they looked like (yes)?
I know we said we didn't want Admins and yes we need to turn Key Performance Indicators on and off depending on the last stop light remaining in Fartwest, Idahpo, so how are we gonna do that?
How did you do that Admin Page so fast?
Can we change the color of this crossbar? It's too, I dunno, too red, I guess.

Every thing's back to normal!
God, I love being a BA and helping people.
My manager's gonna try to get me back in for a longer contract in a week or so.

Agile, Waterfall, business analysis

Reflections on Hiring Practices

2009-11-12T15:08:00.003-08:00

Well, it took almost 13 months, but I found a job with some folks that not only get it, they see through the smoke and mirrors. I start on Monday.

Over the last 13 months, I have seen the craziest, outlandish, silly, stupid and counter-productive people, practices and processes ever.

Don't get me wrong. There are some people who know what they're doing. But they're so few and far between. And in all but a couple of circumstances, economic necessities forced them to cancel the gig.

When IT was booming, companies had to go to recruiting firms to get the people needed for projects and work. The company's HR recruiters didn't know how to talk to an IT professional or assess his or her background. I remember when I wasn't in IT and the College of DuPage gave them about 50% more than I was for the same level job- which is one of the reasons I got into IT. Fine. I get that. But that was 15 years ago. Do you think that after that length of time the HR Generalist curricula could address this? It must be me.

Now you have recruiters working on commission that barely speak the language. I'm not impolite, usually, but after asking someone four, count 'em, four times to repeat their company's name, I hang up. Why would I want to work with or through a company that bad in screening their people or those who consistently use the subjunctive case in recruiting e-mails? I am not anti-immigrant. I think Lou Dobbs is an idiot and a bigot. But if you're in this country, learning the freaking language! I did when I went to your country.

And its not a requirement. It's a job. The requirement(s) is/are part of the job posting.

One recruiter called me to ask me not to apply at his firm anymore! Seems his software saved all applicants and he was spending extra money having a clerk scan my resume into his system every time I applied for a job. He says it cost him about $10 each time. Since I'd apply for four or five openings about twice a month, I was costing him $50 a month. He then assured me he'd have a job for me within six months- in fact, Scot, just last week your score almost reached the top in my system and I almost called you. Yeah, I'll wait around for you. You bet. Like anyone with such a system wouldn't check for dupes. It's me, right?

I 've sent out at least 2 thousand resumes. I know the companies are inundated. Excuse me, but isn't that part of the cost of doing business? And aren't you looking for the best possible candidate? I know they're allegedly scanning stuff into databases all over the world. But they don't know how to use the technology.

On no less than 15 occasions, a recruiter called me about an opening and had no clue: 1. my information was already in his system and 2. I'd already met with one his firm's recruiters (in person).

So, I'm real impressed with all the Taleo and Brass Ring reminders that my information will be kept on file for 12 months and if anything comes up, they'll contact me. I'm holding my breath.

And how about that Taleo snag that demands you enter a source for the job listing, but there's no source field...much less a pull down. I'm thinking we can either use this as a 'what not to do' for User Experience Design students or have your manager apply for a really cool gig...and then snort and chortle for the rest of the day. It's on a gazillion company-Taleo sites now.

And I couldn't get work.

Once in a while you see an ad on Craig's List that looks pretty good. Then you see there's no e-mail address and they want paper submissions. This is for an IT gig. And they want paper. Right. I'll get right on that for you.

Of the 2,000, most of the job sites wil acknowledge receipt. Then the ambiguous black hole. Am I in? Am I out? Nothing, Nada, Zip, Zero, Zilch. You have no phone number or e-mail for the contact (because you went through a job board) and no recourse.

Meanwhile, commission recruiters are calling you for the McDonalds, Sears, Allstate or JP Morgan gig you applied for through Dice- but one recruiter says her firm is a preferred vendor (does that mean they get to drink in a cool special area at the airport before heading out to the Bahamas for a 'business meeting?'). You figure maybe they'd be able to get your resume to the right person, so you say yeah.

Just then. an HR Representative at McDonald's activates the database for the first time since they moved it over from the IBM Mainframe on DB2 to SQL Server 6.0. And your resume pops out. Two resumes and therefore at McDonald's. Sorry, we can't hire you because you applied twice.

Hunh?

At least they replied. I appreciated companies telling me when an opening closed. I could take them off my list. But they rarely tell you anything other than "we decided to go a different route," (d we just get on a bus?) or "we found a better qualified candidate" (give me a hint, better qualified how?) or "we really liked you but <fill in a platitude here> so please continue looking at our website so we can double the sting and humiliation of rejecting you in a couple of weeks when the turkey we just hired quits or we fire her and that's why you've seen this add three or four times."

Or, the HR gamesmanship. The company wants to promote someone from inside to the gig but its EEOC numbers are skewed. Have HR post the job and ignore anything that comes through on #BA34262.

Then there's the recruiting firms that sweet talks you and offers to 'submit' you after you've spent six or seven hours doing three or four resume 'tweaks.' Then, nothing until you call.

When you call, they say that had no feedback from the client. What they don't tell you is your resume was sent over with five or six hundred others in the recruiting company's bid to strike the hiring manager with its ability to generate numbers and a wide selection of lovely parting gifts. Which wastes my time and the hiring manager's time.

On one direct application, I made it to the phone screen and didn't hear squat until I'd left the six message on the HR Rep's voice mail. The next day I got an e-mail saying they were gouing a different route (which is strange since they're right on an expressway). Which is fine, but tell me why and how I can improve my presentation the next time. The reply was "it's our policy not to provide feedback." Wow. Either lawyers and liability issues are now into self-improvement or that phone screen went horribly wrong and I didn't know it.

Then there's the one thing that may turn me into a Libertarian.

My name is Scot and I'm in a protected class. In the 1970s, the U.S. Government stopped companies from firing highly paid, experienced workers in favor of lesser experienced and more poorly paid workers. The idea was to help us old farts keep our jobs. The idea was great. But being protected, I have to assume, got in the way of most of the gigs for which I applied. Companies get nervous if they hire you and can't fire you without a reason or as part of a larger lay-off. Never mind that I've never brought suit or that I understood each time I've been laid off its because the sales guys didn't do their jobs well enough.

And even if it was because of my previous salaries, I never got the chance to tell the employer I'd be willing to take a salary cut to get work for a company that might provide future growth. Either that, or the now required salary field on the website automatically disqualifies us older, experienced folks.

Let's assume I'd jump ship when the economy came out of the crapper. You'd rather have a kid just out of school who's never faced a pissed off client than someone experienced? You'd rather do a web application design three or four times rather than right the first time? You wouldn't want to employ someone with extensive skills and abilities that you can pretty much slap into any slot you need because you're worried I'd leave in 1-2 years instead of using me? No wonder the economy tanked. I wouldn't want to work there anyway with that kind of group think.

And let's discuss this process everyone seems to be using to "get the best person for the job."

Our applicant and his/her recruiter spend an inordinate amount of time 'tweaking' the applicant's resume (which is, in my experience, adding lies and hyperbole).

The resume is supposed to get me the interview (I know because my Mom was a job counselor in the 70s and I read What Color Your Parachute, which is probably the dumbest books I've ever read). I'm told I won't even get the phone screen if it isn't perfect. Sounds to me like the hiring manager is hiring off the resume, folks. And no matter how many superlatives the recruitering company's Account Manager sticks in my resume, if there's no immediate fit or interest, there's no immediate fit or interest.

Then we get either the HR Generalist (who doesn't know the difference between a Use Case and a Crank Case) or a technical sort on the phone with the applicant. The idea here is to separate the men from the boys. TMy trick is to step on my tongue and not interrupt, have one really good question about the company and answer the tech questions as competently as possible. The interviewer then mulls over all the audio and selects two or three to come in for a face to face interview... sometimes more (if the Director/VP is having lunch with a friend and left early and didn't tell the hiring manager so you're gonna have to come back if we're interested). Then the same questions are reapplied to the process because once wasn't good enough.

And from all that 'information,' the person making the hiring decision makes the decision.

Then there are the downtown Chicago companies which; a. don't have the slightest idea about the difference between a BA and a Business Systems Analyst, b. figure its a buyers market and take advantage of everyone by putting the kitchen sink into the competencies/certifications and experience necessary for the job, c. Use the economyas an excuse to cut pre-2008 contract rates by 40-60% (while accepting government stimulus money), d. the financial whiz kids who decided an hourly rate wasn't good enough for its newest consultants and not only cut the rate, but imposed a 'weekly rate' that allowed it to work consultants 10 hours a day for five days before any recompense kicked in, and e. the huge company that wanted you to work for $25/hour as a BA/Tech Writer/Project Manager- of course, that company always wanted to pay you less than $30/hour for your work.

Not once during this process did anyone test the Business Analyst to see if s/he could do the job. Smart companies do that with developers and pretty much make the hiring decison based on the test result and whether the applicant didn't tie his shoes together or had tomato sauce on her blouse.

In the 13 months I was looking, I took one test. At a recruiter's office. Very low level test. The recruiter had me take two parts over again because no one had ever scored that high in so short a time. I say this not to impress you with my credentials, but to underline hiring manager expectations.

At Geneca, I helped develop a quick and easy test. We had the applicant take 20 minutes or so to create a Use Case- not a complete Use Case, but enough to check writing skills and familiarity with the concept. Then we'd ask the applicant a question that forced him or her to give us a good estimate about something we assumed they knew nothing about This gave us an idea of how well the person could abstract, deduce and describe the process. That was to see how they thought and how well they through on their feet.

The other great test I took was for a web-based company, It had all its applicants write requirements for a simple feature. I got through to the phone screen. But it was with a developer and I didn't make it to the end.

To those others, I gave the url to my profile website with real, honest to gosh work product (cleaned up of proprietary detail, of course)- Use Cases, User Stories, Iteration Feature Lists, QA Management, Project Management, flow charts, diagrams, wireframes and more. I think I got 3 or 4 hits until the last folks to interview me kept going up there and downloading pretty much everything that was there.

So. You tell me. Software scanners, keyword hits (actually 'buzzwords'), phone screens and face to face interviews? Or a screening test of actual knowledge and ability followed by a real face to face interview about the real job?

Even if it's contract, I'm glad to be back to work. This job hunting's for the birds.

Ubuntu 9.10: Not Bad, Not Bad At All

2009-11-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

Everyone else is installing Windows 7.0. Now I've been in the Microsoft World long enough to know the old saws:

Never, ever install the first version of a Microsoft Operating System.
Wait until after the second Service Patch.
Odd numbered patches will destroy your machine
The even numbered patches fix the odd numbered patches.

Since I've been out of work for quite a while, I decided to install a dual boot- WinXP and Ubuntu 9.10 (Karmic Something-or-Other). The installation routine automatically and perfectly partitioned my hard drive (sectioned off- one part for Windows, the other for Ubuntu Linux), found all the drivers (does Linux have Drivers?) and made my stuff work. It's rock solid, includes a free version of every Microsoft Office application except one (one I use a lot- VISIO and there's no Open Source equivalent yet).

I had 9.04 (Jaunty Something-or-Other...this cuteness crap has got to stop) on an IBM T-23 ThinkPad and it worked grandly. No issues at all. So I held my breath the day after Win7 came out and installed 9.10 Desktop, the latest and greatest version of the Ubuntu line on my T-61 Lenovo ThinkPad.

So far, the only things I haven't been able to do (excluding VISIO- and I'm trying to figure out how a Windows emulator called Wine works and how I can use it) are:

Install the software to synch my SmartPhone (Windows Mobile 6.1) with Thunderbird's Lightning add-in. I followed all the instructions to download and install the USB connection software, but it refused to install. I think its because I'm on the latest Ubuntu Version and the developers only have the last stable version up on their server.
Recognize and connect to servers on my home network (probably because I haven't really tried yet).
Figure out whether I want to use Evolution or Thunderbird as my E-Mail Client/Calendar/PIM (Personal Information Manager).
Install the latest Thunderbird Beta because I have no idea how to install non-Ubuntu applications ('packages' in Linux-speak). I download the tar file (a compressed file similar to *.zip files in the Windows World) and double clicked it like the wiki told me. All it did was open the Archive Manager (which was nice to know, I didn't even know it had one) which just displayed the files in the compressed *.tar, so I decompressed the sucker and started double clicking all over the place. Nothing.
Move my mail and passwords from my Windows partition to the Ubuntu version of Thunderbird. I suspect this is a Mozilla problem (Mozilla makes Thunderbird) rather than Ubuntu's. Which is why I wanted the latest beta...I know where the mail files are and thought I could simply move them into the Linux machine, but I was using the latest Thunderbird Beta in Windows because the Lightning Calendar Add-in was crapping out all the time and the latest Beta uses a different database for mail and calendar items. But Birdie Synch doesn't work with the latest Betas (obviously- that's why they're Betas). Oy.

Unlike earlier versions of Ubuntu, 9.10 automatically detected my T-61's display and the external monitor I use, detected and walked me through my Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connections, found my external, USB connected hard drive. All effortlessly, cleanly and professionally. Laurels for the Ubuntu Team.

But.

You knew this was coming, didn't you?

The documentation designed for brand new computer/unsophisticated Windows users moving into the Linux World (Ubuntu is a flavor of Linux) or folks who've been running Linux command line stuff for 15 years. There's no middle ground. As a professional writer (and technical writer at that), I know that user documentation has a multiplicity of audiences- and the Ubuntu documentation does not. There may be a market for this as Microsoft returns to its every three or four year OS (Operating System) upgrade cycle.

Bottom Line:

Yes, I would install Ubuntu on my Mother's machine. The interface is very Windows-like, the on-line help is fabulous for the unsophisticated user who simply wants to use e-mail and surf and maybe write a letter or two...mebbe a couple of games.
No, I would not install it on my wife's machine- she's a programmer analyst would still be content to work in DOS.
I would install it on my daughter and older son's laptops. They are sophisticated users and would role into this OS like butter on bread.

Advantages:

It's free
It's applications are free (Open Source)
The interface is as simple or sophisticated as you wish.
Peripherals connect and work just like a Mac- immediately and without fuss.
It's rock solid.
It's fun to use and experiment with.

Disadvantages:

Sophisticated Windows Users have a learning curve- it's short (I'm thinking less than a week), but its there.
Documentation could be better for task oriented users- How do I synch my Windows Mobile to my PIM, how do I create a permanent connection to my son's laptop so I can read his comics and he can read mine, etc. (this may be my issue and not the documentation). The simple explanations, while valid, only take one so far.
While the software is 'free,' the new Ubuntu Software Center (sort of like Window's Add/Remove Programs) has a less than complete description of each product. But it does tell you whether Ubuntu will automatically update it or whether you need to do it manually. Yeah, I know the websites are always listed, but that made selecting a media player a lengthy process- so I kept the defaults and they work fine.

Overall Grade (so far): A-.

Linux, Ubuntu 9.10, Open Source, Technical, Desktop

TeamClock- Tastes Just Like Chicken

2009-11-02T14:50:00.001-08:00

FaceBook has attracted pretty much the entire Class of 1973 for Rich East High School (Park Forest, IL). So I found the student director of the Spanish National Honor Society play I was in, only two suburbs away.

Steve Ritter is well and living in Elmhurst. Or Lombard. One of those two- the ones you can't get there from here.

Steve was one of the cool guys in high school, pretty much fit in every where and everyone liked him. Including me.

On re-connecting, we cautiously approached the other. Just to make sure the other guy hadn't weirded out. We're children of the 60s, remember.

Didn't happen.

So I invited him over for a music jam. He plays a mean guitar, much better than me- he's a little better than me on mouth harp and I'm a better singer- but he's the better overall musician. He politely refused the offer to join Acme Plumbing and Music (now called West Wind- I don't know what it means either and it's not half as funny as the original name...but I digress). Turns out he has his own band. Go figure.

Anyway...

Steve's doing a lot of consulting and has his own firm. He's even URL'ed himself: Steve Ritter. If I did that, my wife would stomp me. The best I can get is a subdomain: www.scot.witteweb.com.

It's my blog.

I can shamelessly promote myself if I want to.

Steve's been researching a book on team excellence. It comes out November 12th.

Now, I assume it's not a dreary textbook from his promotional tweets. It sounds much more like a cross between a motivational speech, The Agile Manifesto and a Team Dynamics For Dummies Book.

Tell me I'm wrong:

Anyone still interested in following my tweets should begin following me at TeamClock. My work on breakthrough teams will be featured there.
"Strong teams not only accept change, they expect and manage it in a proactive manner." (p. 53, Team Clock: A Guide)
How, specifically, would you invest in your team if you wanted to increase trust and promote cohesion?
Good enough or amazing? Breakthrough teams reach beyond the comfort of good enough to find new ways to invest, trust and innovate.

Steve hasn't sent me a review copy, and I'll have to wait until I get a job and bring the finances into alignment with the Age of Aquarious (it still is the Age of Aquarious, isn't it?), but it looks like Steve's years of research is going to support most of what we know and do in Agile Methodology:

We produce business solutions, not paper and documentation.
We find the hidden requirements by putting the product right in the business' hands so they can tell us what they want.
We expect and manage change up to and including implementation. Heck, sometimes we do it afterward even if we don't have a real iteration going.
Every member of the team is empowered to repair, suggest, assist and even clean up the war room.
The end of each requires the team to reflect and suggest changes to improve the process and the product.
Each team is self-managed. The Project Manager or Scrum Master's job is to remove obstacles from the team's way- not to manage. This eliminates a lot of chickenshit.
Agile development is test-driven. Our developers, business team members, design team members and management know when a feature is complete or issue resolved. It's done if it passes the tests the business imposes (and later on, the integration testing- after all, when coders change stuff, putting it all back together may create a new problem). This eliminates scope creep and finger pointing.
Agile team members 'parallel program.' That is, two developers grab a feature or part of a feature and work together for at least part of the workday. This isn't just a bonding experience- it enforces the sharing of knowledge and improves the end product. Heck, even us members of the Design Team (Business Analysts, Information Architects and Web Masters/Designers) can parallel program on GUI, wireframes and functionalities.
This may be the one place I'm betting we won't agree with Steve: Agile does 'good enough' development and documentation rather than superbly done. That's because the other methods have resulted in thousands of failed projects. Since we use working code and stakeholder/end user requirements from the beginning, small and medium sized projects are more likely to succeed, And if the business really wants 'superb,' we can do it, but we'll point out that two sides of the Project Manager's triangle will be out of proportion: Time and Money.

'Course I'm guessing what Steve's come up with and won't be able to read it until the 12th when he starts selling it.

But I'd watch his tweets if I were you. And buy his book when it comes out. Demand a copy at your local bookstore.

Steve's pretty damn smart.

I know.

We went to the same high school.

Lesson Learned: Hidden Requirements

2009-10-27T14:23:00.001-07:00

I spent four months in the Discovery Phase of a major project.

It had some of the most complex business rules I'd ever run into. The idea was to build a data platform to move the company's data from third party vendors into a custom data warehouse. That's where it started. As you'd expect, the scope blossomed like a mushroom cloud in 1950s Yucca Flats, Utah.

I concentrated on the original concept since others were dealing with the side projects. I created a matrix of coupon-mailer-product and took a week to write some pseudo code to demonstrate the machine logic required (it wouldn't fit into a single Use Case- the best I could do is add my 15 pages of 8 point pseudo code to the 53 pages of the rules and walk the developer through it). The SMEs approved it. It was like pulling teeth. You'd get smiles and words of assent, but some of the folks I was dealing with were playing company politics and pretty much ignored the Use Cases for their multi-million dollar data application/framework.

About a week before I was scheduled to leave (real old school - using Iterative Methods). I chanced to talk to a director about something else in the Smoker's Lounge. Nice guy, very knowledgeable. He politely asked me how we were coming and I outlined what I'd done to date. "You mean you're not creating coupons when xxxxxx occurs? We've been doing that by hand for years."

Turns out there were twice as many business rules and decision trees as I had.

The rules and logic were in someone's desk drawer. He thought we had a copy. Even though I'd asked him for the rules at least four times. "Yeah, you mean I forgot to mail it to you?"

I left the project three days later. Blamed for the failure.

The poor development team would have to do it from the original material which had been amended about four or five gazillion times since it was written in 1856.

Here's what I should have done and have done ever since in Waterfall and Iterative Methodologies:

Identify each and every stakeholder and find the possible politics that can impact the project. Make sure it's in the Risk Management Plan with mitigation strategies. No seriously. Doing that would have saved the first phase of the project.
Identify every document passed to me (I was swimming in that Project from Hell, but I didn't catalog each piece of documentation). I could have identified gaps with a simple spreadsheet.
Draw more pictures, tables, graphs and diagrams. I used to think a multi-million dollar project was probably worth reading the Use Cases. Silly me. Pictures. Color. Arrows. Boxes. The third or fourth rule of technical communication: make sure there's at least one graphic in each publication and if the document is in color, it's more important than one in black and white. You think I'm kidding, doncha? I'm not. Its true- ask any tech writer.
Always, always look for evidence of hidden requirements. And then look again.
Keep asking polite questions and reflecting what the SME says back to him or her until I'm certain I understand what s/he is saying.

This project is the reason I love Agile Development Methods. There are no hidden requirements in an Agile Project. When you deliver working code the the SMEs, Stakeholders and end users , they can play with it and tell you what's wrong and what they think they need. And the politics/See-what-we-can-get-fer-free mentality is eliminated- the business is on the team and controlling each sprint. We don't point fingers, we find causes and improve our quality. There are no long and boring Use Cases. Instead there are 3-4 line User Stories from which I can create a Technical Specification for the developer to use in coding. Everybody gets to weigh in on problems and ideas for improvements to increase quality and increase throughput.

Best of all, we create software without games or gotchas.

No SAP for Me

2009-10-26T12:35:00.001-07:00

Well, I thought about it long and hard. I'm giving up on SAP Data Warehousing and Business Intelligence.

I took four lessons on how to do it. I wanted the big-time cash promised in a recession proof endeavor.

So here's what I found out:

They told us we could really screw-up our client's data by doing the wrong thing. Me? Screw up enterprise data with an inaccurate click somewhere? I have my own problems without adding to them.
Does it scare anyone else that no one, SAP Engineers included, know everything there is to know about SAP? Sample question supporting the thesis: How do you create and perform boundary, integration and regression tests when you come out with new stuff?
I get there are four basic import routines for the stuff we were doing. Non-SAP data sources, Flat File and two, count 'em two SAP Data Sources. Hmmm. One for non-SAP and two for SAP sources. Is anyone else confused on how SAP abstracted the import (Extract), cleanse (Transform) and use (Load) processes?
SAP creates words that have nothing to do with function, I'll be generous and say its because the software is written in Germany by ex-IBM engineers (like there aren't any native speakers of English in the U.K. or here in the U.S. that can test terms with users and suggest better ones). I do not believe that just because we did it this way for x number or releases, its the best way to do it. An example (i.e. one that I was able to figure out): There's an object called an InfoProvider. So I spent an hour finding out that an InfoProvider isn't a non-SAP data source (which is still another SAP object) but is an internal SAP Object that provides data to the modeling and reporting tools. Oh yeah, some of the term definitions change between SAP revisions. It's no wonder SAP needs to certify users. As a goof, look up the word 'replicate' in an SAP 7.x version ETL (Extract, Transform and Load) Manual. It's not what you think it is.
Because of the bullet point above, I was confused. It was like Algebra in High School. It made sense while I was watching, but when I tried to do it, I was lost. Couldn't internalize the stuff. Labeling is important to me and when you start changing definitions willy-nilly, I get rattled. I couldn't tell the difference between the objects. Relational Databases have been using really good terms for a couple of decades now. For what we were doing, SAP abstracts the data and de-normalizes it (data delivery is not the goal- data manipulation is) from the key fields so it can pretty much let you do anything you want. I worked with something similar in a data intensive application where all the data goes into a single, two column table (just like SAP) and it used four other tables to identify, and if required, normalize the data- SAP uses an intermediate table with what's billed as a really cool feature, but is, in actuality nothing more than an automatic, system-assigned GUID (Global Uniform Identifier) table for data look-up and intermediate/abstracting tables and data. I just explained it to you in less than ten sentences with only a couple of jargon words. I guess that's why SAP can charge a gazillion dollars.
What's the most basic data import anyone ever does? Yes. Import a flat file. It took me over a week to figure out how to do it. The book (written by SAP) pretty much had nothing to do with the interface I was using. The latest version of SAP makes certain steps optional when importing data. Not by my sights. I had to create about 123 Objects four or five times each until I could do the import and there's no freakin' way I could replicate what I did and in what order.

Working with bean counters, executives and managers day in and out over the specifics of reports for weeks on end would be torture for me. I've seen others do it and do it well. I have all the respect in the world for them and am glad when they're on my team. I just can't do it. I'm much more interested in team dynamics, technology, helping folks to solve problems, improve processes and stuff like that.

To thine own self be true.

So I found out the State of Illinois might pay for PMP (Project Management Professional, i.e., a certification telling the world I can be what I've been doing for about ten years- be a project manager) and ITIL Foundation(I had to look this up on Wikipedia- it's a framework for software development, like this is hard) AND it'll pay for the test(s) andf first year membership in PMI (Project Management Institute, yeah, sounds dumb to me, too and its a really pain in the a^& to re-certify. Seems like a major gimmick to me). I have an appointment Thursday to begin figuring it out.

I talked to the wife and we both decided this stuff really wasn't in my line, just not a good fit. She's a developer and teacher. She's been trying to teach me .Net stuff for a long time: a. yeah, I can do it, b. it should work the first time I run it and c. stay away from me when I'm debugging, bounds and integration testing. No really. Stay away from me.

We agreed I'm an IT BA, perhaps there's a decent Project Manager underneath the requirements gathering top veneer, but that's pretty much it. I know how stuff works, I have good communcation skills and can explain it to the business, developers, QA and end users. I can gather requirements, design/mock-up reports and am a pretty good jack-leg Information Architect. And I have a particular propensity for governance and process (in other words, I like systems analysis and I can help others learn different methodologies). And yes, I like using the word propensity. When I was on radio, it took the chief engineer an hour to clean up after me when I said on the air.

It was almost as satisfying as saying goodbye to a long tern, 'challenging' client.

I appreciated the chance to try. Right clicking on SAP objects over and over and over would drive me up a wall. I'm already a squirrel, so I see no advantage.

Differentiation Isn't Enough

2009-10-15T13:08:00.001-07:00

One of the places I used to work is just about ready to go belly up. I'd always hoped when the economy turned itself around, I could go back there (and I'm still cheer leading for it to succeed). The company treated its people as they wished to be treated and attracted really smart and sharing people. Seriously. They did. That bred a LOT of loyalty in me and I'm sure a lot of the others that have had to leave over the last few months.

I'm not really sure what the business model was. The executives never invited me into the discussions.

But it appeared to me the company was selling itself by differentiating itself from the rest of the boutique development firms based on two things:

User Experience Design and Testing
Agile Development Methods

A couple of years ago, I'd have told you that was enough- nobody was doing either. None of the contracting firms I knew about anyway. A few if them would call in a design firm for the "look and feel stuff," but none of us hardy Development Men (strains of Stout Hearted Men should be starting up in your mind right now) really cared much. That was for sissies.

It was really bad for us to think that way, especially with some of the interfaces we came up with. Ugly. Counterproductive. Silly.

But soon, both terms became buzzwords and the economy crapped out. Bad thing, these buzzwords. I remember a manager got his job by spouting buzzwords at about four buzzwords per sentence in his interview- and he got the job. Since I was the guy that had to do all the stuff he talked about in his interview, I quickly learned he knew nothing. I didn't resent it, part of anyone's job is to make your boss look great to his/her boss. I just realized that buzzwords mean nothing.

Today, everybody says they're Agile and say they use appropriate UxD (User Experience Design) standards. And it ain't true.

They don't use Information Architects who create work flows (they call 'em scenarios, whatever) and design for the end user with the latest HMI Design Standards...that's Human-Machine Interface Design. Nor do they test GUIs (Graphical User Interfaces) and ask end users how well something works or doesn't work.

And they've never read the Agile Manifesto, else why is the Project Manager (PM) running the show without any input from team members? Or no test-driven development? Or no parallel programming? Or keeping documentation to a minimum and letting the team run itself with the PM's role changed to removing obstacles (with the BA, of course). Nope. Not Agile. They put silk purses on sows' ears.

So when the company I worked at was trying to drum up business, it got lost in the shuffle because its perceived expertise was allegedly shared by every other company. There was no differentiation.

Frankly, companies pulling in development consultants:

Don't care about methodologies. They care about results. And its way too easy to oversell Agile's working code paradigm.
Don't care about the end user much. If they did, they'd have mastered this years ago. The Mac has been out how many years? They should care, because ease of use significantly increases productivity which translates to dollars and cents....but when my former company 'educated' potential clients, we had little impact because of the lack of front-end buy-in. Just do it and write the cost into the bid.
Want the consultants to have the answers. The customer, allegedly, don't have time to supply a team member with enough clout to actually make iteration decisions nor provide a great deal of time as Subject Matter Experts (SMEs) to the BA/Developers...they have to do their jobs you know.

I wrote some marketing white papers. Not once did I mention UxD or Agile. I told the hiring firms about the very real advantages my company offered and how that would impact the budget after implementation. It would have helped a lot if I had some real figures I could use. I don't think they were ever used because our Marketing Director went back to her specialty of media relations.

And some clients are necessarily Waterfall organizations. I worked at one retailer on an application that touched everything in the building and all of the stores. Neither my company nor the customer had a clue about what Agile is or is not. They created a 'War Room' where a lot of IT people sat, but they required Use Cases and High Fidelity Wireframes- I mean, I was using VISIO and PhotoShop to create wire frames. I was told we were using 'Modified Agile." Right. All Agile projects use modified and pragmatic methods. Neither company knew how to scale an Agile Project with Iterative/Waterfall components. So the whole thing blew up in my company's face after it moved back to Waterfall with some minor iterative design work.

Add the distinct lack of domain knowledge for vertical markets (we do Health Care, no- we do hosting, no- we do education, no-we do UxD, etc. etc.) forced the BAs, IAs and Developers to learn new domains for every project. Domain knowledge is the stuff you'd know if you worked five or more years in Insurance or Bakery Goods. It's the business, its regulations/regulators and very basic requirements. For example, I have a lot of domain knowledge about IT, software development, journalism (electronic and paper) and direct marketing (I've worked two projects in that area). The company I'm rooting for is about ready to go belly up because its pretty much bidding on anything that came in the door and has been doing that for several months.

Instead of concentrating on customer's needs and wants then specializing in a particular area, my former company blew it. I hope they get a contract soon so the business won't fold and it could rehire a lot of us.

But I'm not holding my breath.

SAP: The Highs and Lows So Far

2009-10-09T11:29:00.001-07:00

So I'm using this blog to increase my visibility for potential employers. If I was them, I'd like to know who I'm getting.

They don't seem to be reading this, so, I'm going to add SAP busisness intelligence/business warehousing (that'd be BI/BW for those of you with TLA [Three Letter Abbreviation] Scorecards out there...and BO (that's be Business Objects without a scorecard) which SAP got a hold of sometime last year and is integrating it.

Or maybe they are and are steering clear?

Anyway, a very smart company is training me to to a. gather the reporting requirements, b. find the data elements somewhere in the spaghetti that is any database and c. actually create the reports. Apparently, this will save the SAP owners a boatload of cash by hiring one person to fill two roles- even by paying us a lot of cash. Us out of work BAs get jobs at what recruiters tell me are obscene hourly rates. I can live with that.

But I still need a short to medium term contract gig to pay bills and make sure I don't lose my house.

Companies (HUGE companies, Billion dollar plus) buy SAP and its various 'modules' (think up-selling, like they do at Radio Shack [Need a microphone with that tape recorder, Mister? How about some cassettes and an extra battery to go with that power supply?]) to run the company. Some former IBM-Germany Software Engineers tried to sell IBM on it in the late 80s or early 90s. IBM took a pass (would you expect less from a company that now sells Lotus Notes, AS400s, r6000s and WebSphere?).

With all that data lying around in DB2 and Oracle databases (think really, really big databases, here), someone got the idea of 'warehousing' the data in one place and generating reports from that data. Enter Data Warehousing. At least three other companies offer it and two others offer reporting and data mining skills. But single, soft serve (pun intended) service from one provider seemed like a great idea. It probably is.

And just what kind of hat does a data miner wear? Hard hat for when the boss starts throwing things? A beanie with a propeller to reinforce the stereotype?

So I've taken two whole days of training so far. I've been taught and think I understand the stupid object names (totally confusing- I need to look up the difference between InfoObject and InfoProvider). So....I figure loading a flat file (think spreadsheet with a half dozen columns and a half dozen rows) ought to be a piece of cake- after all, I've designed and specified this ability along with the required field mapping GUI a dozen times for both .Net and J2EE applications.

It took me three and a half days (seven half days) to figure it out in SAP. And I'm not really sure it's there because we haven't gotten to the report making stuff yet.

Actually, I didn't use SAP. The data warehouse and reporting tools aren't in SAP. And SAP isn't SAP. SAP used to be known as R3 and is, in this latest edition, called ECC. I used is a Java-based tool called NetWeaver. So far, the only reason I need to know that is to find useless information in the SAP help website. Otherwise, no one seems to use the term.

What I've learned so far:

SAP needs someone to come up with better and more intuitive terms and phrasing for this future user. I dunno- maybe have a native speaker of the language eliminate the ambiguity and increase the uniqueness of the object names for starters?
SAP is so big and does so much and is so granular that no one knows even everything to know about modules. It supports TWO, count 'em TWO application languages (the proprietary ABAP and Java).
Connecting a series of optional and mandatory objects probably should defined somewhere, step-by-step, and then explain SAP Module and other database connectors and options.
SAP's 'Star Schema' isn't new or unique- I've had Technical Architects design exactly the same thing for data rich environments to speed queries and system response time. It just makes Query creators who know SQL and typical RDBMS (Relational Database Management Systems) crazy.
There's a reason anyone with SAP knowledge commands a premium wage.
I'm really glad about #2 and #5. I spent way too much time satisfying my ego in Radio News before I got smart and moved into IT...and two lengthy lay-offs (after the NASDAQ crunch and this depression) I just might be able to retire after all.

This is so exciting that I'm almost ready to stop using a very low grade tranquilizer to get to sleep- all I have to do is imagine the NetWeaver interface and creating an InfoCube....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Agile Job Hunting

2009-10-01T11:26:00.001-07:00

I'm getting calls and e-mails from IT professionals with a job opening who think they understand Agile (they don't, but it's the latest buzzword and process) and are asking me questions about it.

It's no wonder the economy's on the rocks. How can you hire someone when you really don't understand what you do and how you do it?

To wit (pun indended):

One manager at a large company north of me said 'RUP/UML is an Agile Method.' I suggested it is not, but it is a precursor process and is valid unto itself, depending on the circumstances. I should have kept my mouth shut. The manager said, "I went to school about this and it is an Agile Method." I responded (stupidly and because I thought it was a test) the Agile Manifesto demands test-driven development, self-organizing teams, very short sprints, creating usable code from the first and a lot of communication between team members, end users and stakeholders- Iterative does not. I didn't get the job. Shame on me. On the other hand...if I got the job and the manager was that stupid, how satisfying would it have been?
Another company sent me a questionaire. I filled it out. The big thing they wanted to know is when the BA would 'let' developers talk to the business side. I said it depends- in the Scope/Planning Phase, not at all since we need to define the scope of the project, basic architecture and very high level requirements (I like going in with a Technical Architect or Lead Developer and a Project Manager/Scrum Leader if I'm not acting in that role). Later on, it pretty much depends on the developer and if s/he can talk to business people. If they can't, I'd have to facilitate and translate. I didn't get the job. If they have developers talking to Champions and Stakeholders even before the scope is settled, how good could the process be?
One company I worked for, said it was Agile. The organization it was working for was Waterfall. I suggested it was not- they didn't allow the BAs to talk to the developers (!), the daily Stand-up took an hour and allowed yelling back and forth between the customer and the Lead Developer. I saw the mis-match immediately but couldn't find anything quick enough before the ax fell. They called it 'Modified Agile.' Right. I lost the job. With several other folks.

Then a couple of weeks ago, a small but very cool start-up advertised for an Agile BA. Instead of a silly technical phone screen- the first thing it wanted was for applicants to create User Stories for a test feature. Finally. I could demonstrate what I could do and they'd actually answer my questions as though it were a real feature. I spent a whole hour on the story and then another hour to create a couple of wireframes and sent 'em in.

A week later, we set up the phone screen! I'd passed the first step.

They had a developer call me. He wanted to know what a BA could do for two developers and a UxD (User Design Experience) professional on a working e-Commerce and Collaboration site. Cool.

I think the interview went well. The company sold me in the ad- they have very smart people working there and I want to be part of it. Next steps are a couple of hairy face-to-face interviews and then a 'team lunch.' My fingers are crossed.

Even if I don't get this one, I have a lot of respect for this company- they think things through and the hiring process actually measures if the person can perform to the level the company needs. Not glad-handing, coming up with silly answers to stupid, predictable and trite questions (which measure your interviewing ability rather than work skill set). Finally! No games. Grown-ups. Adults.

Cool.

Why the hell can't the others learn what the buzzword means and find a good way to hire like minded/trained folks? It's not like its hard...you just gotta think.

Hmmmm.

User Centric Redux

2009-09-17T14:11:00.001-07:00

A former colleague and current friend (well, until she reads this), Alice Toth, just published a fine blog on User Centric Design. She outlines the process very well (as I would expect) and she slyly doesn't tell you how its done (hey, we all gotta eat).

Alice was the assigned Information Architect on one of those 'projects from hell.' I was the Lead BA. Before I get started, I have always respected Alice's ability, genius and grace. Its too bad she didn't spend much time on our little venture into the third ring of Hell because she is always an asset. Pathfinder recognized this and promoted her to the second ring of Hell- she became a Project Manager while we of the third ring fried and sputtered.

Alice is a fabulous Information Architect (IA). After several discussions, She and I decided that BAs gather requirements and organize them in words, tables and diagrams, while IAs do the same using visual tools. A significant part of being an IA is to show up any wireframe I create in VISIO and they do freehand on a Mac. IAs are schooled in HMI (Human-Machine Interface) and the psycho-sociological uses of web browsers. Both do As-Is and To-Be workflow models (IAs call them scenarios). All in all, the two functions have many commonalities.

Alice was a superb resource when I had to create Best Practices and dovetail Agile Development with User Experience Design. And she can code. And it doesn't hurt that she's a genius without all that stepping on eggshells stuff one has to do around such folks. Very real and down to earth and a great friend.

So, it is with great reluctance that I take her to task for this statement on her latest Blog:

Personas also bring the human element into software development. Rather than using a vague term such as actor or user, terms that can easily be dismissed, we now have Myrna from Accounting, a numbers guru who is the primary user of the new software.

Hunh?

BAs define actors as a person, system or sub-system that needs to do something (a defined goal) using or connecting to the application. While Alice and I were aligning the processes of a BA and an IA, we decided a Persona was usually a class of Actors (i.e. usually more than one person). A Personas usually brings more than one goal to a session on the 'puter. In the Iterative and Waterfall Worlds, these have to be broken down into discrete sets of actions and reactions...and they called them Use Cases. And the PMO say that it was good.

But only for a while.

That there web thingie screwed everything up. Instead of a defined, step by step defined workflow, users can now do pretty much what they wanted (within constraint) as they damn well wanted to and watch video, listen to audio and talk back, through their browsers! Actually, it's much more important to folks like Alice and me that the browser can transmit Credit Card Numbers and PayPal Account detail....but that's another blog.

All this stuff caused Use Case Hyper-inflation and forced the Fed to impose Agility.

OK, I lied- there were a LOT of reasons Agile methods were created. Do you really think the sudden appearance of Web 2.0 and Software as a Service (SAAAAAAAS)- [hyperbole and sarcasm intended] and simultaneous popularization of Agile is a coindence? I don't think so. I can see the guy in the sailor suit with pocket protector up there on the virtual grassy knoll right now.

So we BAs create a series of User Stories that supports the creation of the new or revised workflow we designed and got sign off for at the beginning of the project. We make sure the DevTeam can create each User Story within a sprint, or we break the User Story down some more. Repeat until feature is complete and end user is happy. We use the Actors to identify who does what in the smaller chunks of User Stories. Sorry, its a habit. And it works. And it's not inhumane- I have always worked in a shop certified by the Anti-Cruelty to Actors Society.

'Actor' isn't vague- I always identify them in a separate chapter of the high level requirements and then in thre User Story or Use Case or Specification, I re-identify them. And Alice know damn well I never, ever let the DevTeam dismiss my Actors.

What's that you say? You read the Agile for the Waterfall Lover book and it states categorically the business team member or end user is supposed to write the User Story? Dream on, dude. They don't have the time or inclination to do that unless its in a JAD (Joint Application Design) session and the boss pays for brownies and lunch. The BA or IA write them and verifies them with the appropriate authority (stakeholder, Subject Matter Expert and/or end user). Then the developer who gets the task can go to the person who approved it and start the discussions. Or ask the BA or IA (since they are the only end user advocates on the DevTeam) or the BA/IA can facilitate the discussion. See what I mean? Nuthin's easy.

I have two problems with Alice's declaration of war in the allegedly inappropriate use of Actor and User:

The use of the terms Actor and Usder are purposely vague. The whole idea of what a BA does is to abstract the entire work flow in order to define the function(s). This allows the Bidness Team and the DevTeam to read the dame stuff and envision the same thing. That's why they call it Functional Analysis.
The UxD (User Experience Design) folks can and do carry this Persona thing way, way too far. I almost worked on a project that had about a half dozen personas identified. The UxD Team (not ours, thank goodness) not only had names- they captured pictures of each persona, knew her husband and her kids, where she lived, what car she drove and what got her drunk the Saturday night before. While the UxD Team goes off on those tangents... DevTeam Members are looking at each other and wondering what the hell is going on. I understand what the UxD Team is trying to do, and it does help define workflows, users and actors. I feel silly and unprofessional when I invoke a Persona. I feel like I'm talking about a dead guy or at a seance. And let's face it folks, the word persona is defined as: a character in a play or novel; A person's mask or facade; or someone's perceived but not actual personality.

If personas help the UxD Team- great. Just don't impose them on everyone. I will not write:

Carrie Ann Johnson, the one from Freemont High School, not the one that graduated College third in her class, clicks <Search>

1. Browser sends search parameters to Search Engine.
2. Search Engine performs search and returns matches.
3. Content Manager and Web Server send results page to the browser.

This Blog brought to you by that little old troublemaker....me (remember those TV wine commercials?).

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Thoughts about Mary Travers

2009-09-16T23:34:00.001-07:00

When I mention folk music to any non-folky, it immediately creates two thoughts to that person:

Kumbaya- The African rendering of a Lutheran Hymn taken from missionaries and 'folk processed' back to the English speaking world. Its simplicity made it a huge hit during the Folk Scare of the 60s and has boomeranged to be an example of a bad song at a bad time. In the class of Dominque by the Singing Nun or Chop Suey by whatever his name was. If you aren't old enough to remember those, how about Yummy, Yummy, I Got Love in My Tummy or Winchester Cathedral, or anything by The Archies? Us cool 60s and 70s DJs called them "Bubblegum."
Peter Paul and Mary (PP&M)- like the Kingston Trio, this seminal trio popularized roots music (See That My Grave is Kept Clean and Three Ravens come immediately to my mind), Singer-Song Writers (They had the hit of Bob Dylan's Blowin' In The Wind and introduced us to Tom Paxton [Marvelous Toy and Yuppies In the Sky] and to Canadian Gordon Lightfoot- after fellow Canadians Ian and Sylvia grabbed some of Gordy's Gold (the trio covered Early Morning Rain), their own writing (Peter Yarrow wrote Puff The Magic Dragon and Day is Done, Noel Paul Stookey wrote the legendary Wedding Song and Right Field and Mary got a co-writer credit for Come and Go with Me).

We all lost Mary Travers yesterday (September 16, 2009), apparently as a result of complications from chemotherapy. She announced two years ago she had Leukemia. Sadly, the bone marrow transplant worked and she was in remission. The same disease took Steve Goodman (City of New Orleans and Dying Cub Fan's Last Request). I'm so terribly sad.

She was part of a seminal group. Like the Kingston Trio, PP&M popularized real folk music and encouraged gifted songwriters. PP&M always had a political agenda, but it was never hidden, never mean and always inclusive. Many of us agree with and support the politics, the philosophy and the duty to humanity to this day.

But it was the music that got us.

I don't know about you, but I could go to a zillion churches, synagogues and mosques. I could ooh and ahh at the architecture and obvious reverence. But they never, ever filled me with any sense of spirituality or connection with others.

I found that in song circles, open mikes, concerts and sharing riffs with other players. I also got it when I was doing a Folk Music radio show in suburban Chicago for a few years and got to ask Noel Paul Stookey some questions (as well as quite a few more musicians of considerably more talent and technique that I have. And they all shared and continue to share. Mary Travers was part of that tradition. And much of her and her partner's music is spiritual- at least to me.

We will never hear Mary's kind and knowing song poem to her young daughter- her sultry voice in Noel Stookey's Comic Racing Routine (Peter Paul & Mary, In Concert album), her deft harmonies or her belting one out of the park with her superb instrument... live. At least we have the recordings, the PBS specials and documentaries. We are also comforted by Peter and Noel's statements on the PP&M website. But we're losing the performers, writers and singers we love. Just recently, we've lost:

Mary Travers
John Stewart (part of the second Kingston Trio and a wonderful singer songwriter)
Erik Darling (Filled Pete Seeger's slot when Seeger quit The Weavers, Leader of the Trio which had the first Banana Boat Song hit in the late 50s and the leader of the Rooftop Singers [Walk Right In]) and whose Child, Child album I listen to every month or so to get new and fresh ideas I can steal....um Folk Process...for my own band)
Travis Edmonson (the Travis of Bud & Travis)

So, yeah, I kinda resent PP&M being thought of as irrelevant and old. These folks haven't listened to the arrangements, harmonies and guitar work. And they performed at the Washington Memorial at the 1964 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom...and were standing right behind Dr. King when he gave his speech.

I'm a proud fan. I am sad we lost her. But I think I'd rather celebrate her artistry and her life. And help keep her music alive.

Why You Need a BA (Me) On Your Team

2009-09-16T12:24:00.001-07:00

In my Do Business Analysts Need Computer Programmer Skills? blog, some comments seemed to reveal that many project managers, developers and business folks never had a Business Analyst on the team. Interesting. I think the Agile Teams who have never had a BA on a Team should be considering such folks (me! Me! ME!) for several important reasons.

Since they didn't have BAs, I have to assume the Project Manager and Lead Developers usually handled BA duties...with the top developers getting the requirements (User Stories) and helping define the tests. But only high level developers can really handle this interfacing and talking to 'real' users. The purposes, skill sets, orientation- even language are very different in both worlds. Am I saying developers shouldn't talk to users? Absolutely not- that discussion should positively take place- but there has to be a coordinator, translator and secretary to perform all these duties:

Learn the business- its processes and needs to develop the very best product under the constraints imposed.
Create the As-Is and To-Be documentation to begin modeling the project and processes.
Create the high level functional requirements to explain the project, the reason for the project and what technologies may be used in the project.
Act as the stakeholder and end users' advocate.
Gather the business requirements and business rules.
Design and help model the application with the business team and the DevTeam.
Plan and coordinate iterations or sprints and road maps with the business team and the Project Manager.
Translate techno-jargon to biz-speak and vice versa throughout the project.
Test each build to avoid glaring error and/or to prepare the business for skeletal interfaces and features.
Create, document and communicate temporary workarounds for identified issues.
Create UAT scripts, run the sessions, compile the issues and comments and create a suggested priority of repair/change list.
Reproduce, manage and test issue repairs (and explained to stakeholders and end users why a repair is delayed or may not be repaired.
Create User Stories (yeah, yeah, I know, the business is supposed to do this- of course, when was the last time you saw this happen unless you were in a JAD session?), specifications (essentially all the stuff that would have been in a Use Case), wireframes, project documents and business cases.
Handle or coordinate Change Management (them applications you guys are creating are typically going to raise hackles all over the business because you're changing things and people are change resistant.
Perform or coordinate knowledge transfer from the DevTeam to the Help Desk and/or Admin and or DBA team(s).
Write user training manuals, help files and doing 'train the trainer' session for large applications when required.
Keep Scrum/Stand-up Meeting Minutes and disseminated them to the team.
Help coordinate and communicate implementation schedules and requirements with the business and IS folks.
Assist in creating and implementing the Risk Management Plan.
Manage the Issues Tracker, the wiki (making certain business questions and comments were promptly and appropriately handled)
Provide/create and transmit frequent status reports.

Well somebody has to do all this stuff. And those of you without BAs are probably doing a hit or miss job and know it- your time, resources and costs are cut to the bone, or you are working 10-16 hour days- which is nuts. You know this sort of assistance would reduce risk, improve team productivity and improve the communication with the business- thereby reducing the chance of rejected features/functions.

We do the things the Project Manager doesn't have time for and free up Developers to do much more productive things in terms of skill set and interest. And really good reasons why a BA is still an essential role on an Agile Team. You can also use an Information Architect (IA) for this stuff and you'd get better designed wireframes, screen themes and controls but not as much written detail (which isn't necessarily a bad thing for an Agile Project- depending in the business expectations). IAs do pretty much the same thing BAs do, but they do it visually and usually aren't as technical as a BA. But, we both get the job done for the team.

That's pretty much why I think most projects need a BA and why the BA is typically the Deputy, Associate Assistant Project Manager.

Gamesmanship

2009-09-16T11:04:00.001-07:00

One of the dirty little secrets they don't tell you about in school is about the recruiter. Yes, 97-99% of them are professional, work hard and are ethical.

But that one to three percent are real pieces of work.

They call you and ask the basic questions to qualify you for the 'requirement.' 'Requirement.' It's a job listing, job ad or job order. It includes a list of requirements. Arrgh!

Anyway, the Level One Recruiter (like the Level One Help Desk Analyst whom we all hate) then tosses your resume over to the "Account Manager." This is a sales job, not a management gig. Like the fact that everyone who works in a gas station or movie theater is an Assistant Manager.

This Account Manager thinks s/he knows exactly what the client (i.e. the company and people for which you might be working) wants. Usually wrong, but OK, they have the contact or prime vendor account and I don't.

Every once in a while, s/he wants you to 'tweak" your resume.

I'm all for writing to your audience (second rule of writing) but a few times in the last several weeks, these "tweaks" included:

Changing 'Senior Business Analyst' to "Senior Business Architect." Now, I did it because I figured this was HR title inflation. I sent the resume back and the Account Manager immediately responded- "Can I turn Technical Writer into Business Architect/Technical Writer?" I said, "Hell yes." I thought the person who designed and build a business was the owner or the sales manager. I've never heard of a Business Architect. The 'requirement' read exactly like a Senior Business Analyst's role. I thought he was kidding. Even though I was a good boy and was biting my tongue through the entire process, didn't even get a phone screen.
Bringing out the fact that I've managed people. Which I have and expect to do again. In radio news, my highest number of reports was 35 (all news radio station), but I've always been on small teams full of really smart people. Anyone familiar with software development will tell you the BA typically acts as the Deputy, Associate, Assistant Project Manager. How do you bring that one out in a resume without it turning into a Vitae (a book length listing of every time you walked your boss's dog, the number of Cleanest Cubicle awards you've received and junk like that)? I've been a professional writer in a wide variety of media and I have no clue. Didn't get a phone interview for that one either.
Lying. One person was very careful to mention the job needed programming skills. My programming skills are, uh, nil. The last time I coded, there were still line numbers and you used crappy editors like Edlin. And, if it didn't work the first time, I quit doing that program. It should work the first time. I once did a program in C+ that converted dates into base 64. The only thing I remember about that program was the fact it had a bazillion recursive If-Then loops and if it didn't work the first time I ran it, I was going to quit my job. I didn't do it. I once had a really great job for three weeks. They had six, count 'em six interviews where I told them I was a tech writer and knowledge manager, not a programmer...although I suppose if you put a gun to my head I could probably figure something out within 6-10 weeks. You know what my first (and only) assignment was? You guessed it. They wanted me to convert web content into Lotus Notes databases. I was flabergasted. A. Didn't you listen to me the six times I said I wasn't a programmer? B. There's a programming language for Lotus Notes? Then why doesn't it ever work the way you want it to? C. Lotus Notes? Why the hell aren't you on Exchange or Zindus Server?
Fill in the gap. You see, I haven't worked since October 2008. I'm in a protected class (those 40 and above, which sucks) and I used to make way too much money according to the large corporations here in Chicago. As soon as the bottom dropped out of the economy, these bastards started pushing down BA, Information Architect and Project Manager salaries and hourly contract rates. It's going to boomerang and hit them in the ass in a couple of years. Anyway. There's a gap in my resume. Him: What have you been doing, Scot? Me: I've been looking for work more than full time ever since my last project crashed. Him: We need something else, to show you were doing something. Me: I just told you what I was doing Him: Nope, need something better. Me: Tell them I was researching a book about how a Business Analyst fits into an Agile Project as well as a few domestic engineering jobs. Him: That'll work.

And none of them, not one of them (except for three or four astute, personable and caring recruiting companies) tell you anything unless the client company wants a phone interview or you hound them with e-mails. And then they're your very best friend... until the process craps out on you.

I dunno. Maybe I should have stayed in radio news. I could easily be making $37,000/year in one of the three or four news jobs left in the industry. Or I could be a disc jockey...saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over...

Discovery Zone

2009-09-11T15:15:00.001-07:00

I interviewed with an attorney this week. Her company dumped what might turn out to be a major IT project in her hands. She talked to one of my best friends who recommended she talk to me.

The first phone call was frantic... for the attorney and for me. As is typical, her mind was down at the field and controls level and I had to a. figure out what she was saying and b. make it look like I knew what I was talking about.

After about a half dozen questions, I realized where she's at and why she's in trouble.

This company gets sued a lot, I guess, there are a lot of in-house attorneys and, to use her words, "...hundreds of Outside Counsel."

Legal Discovery

Unfortunately, the legal profession uses the same word we IT folks use when we start a project: Discovery. Seems that in a civil lawsuit, Discovery occurs when someone sues someone else. Both sides have to give copies of relevant data (documents, spreadsheets, e-mail, etc.) to the other side. Turns out my new friend's company does this manually. In this day and age!

Thankfully, the company is throwing some resources her way and we may be able to solve her problem.

The company is adding some enterprise tools- but these tools aren't connected to anything in the current plans. Yep. No data store, no way to search, no history of use, no ability to browse using a taxonomy and no way to create and send a digital package of documents/data to opposing counsel, much less e-mail confirmations and an audit trail.

So the poor lady has two problems: where do we put all the nicely tagged and redacted data items and once they're there, what happens?

She has 3 Terabytes now. How do we get disparate databases connected (including non-company hosted systems) and then once all that stuff is properly stored in a data center somewhere- how do the other attorneys find and use the documents.

She was mostly concerned about the data store and what she kept calling "the index." She's right. The search engine needs to be able to pull records based on a lot of metadata. At least the metadata tagging will be automated!

Her IT Department has no resources to help her. Its been ravaged by lost and unfilled positions caused by the economy and several company reorganizations.

No wonder she was going nuts. Heck, if I was facing that and didn't know anything about content management, data mapping, batch ETL (Export/Transform and Load. No? It means connect all the databases and make them work nicely together) and the ways and means of attacking and solving the problem (project management and business analysis) and designing a solution (at the abstract and the wireframe levels, certainly), I would have been much more upset than she was. Hey, I can't write a brief or represent someone in court for money...why would her company expect her to be able to do what I do? I don't.

IT Discovery

Here's what the Project Discovery Phase looks like from my perspective- the Business Analyst:

The goal of this phase is to find the new system's boundaries (this will help define the Scope of the project), gather and organize functional requirements and settle on technology and architecture. Once the deliverables (the stuff I hand the client when that part of a project is completed) are in, the customer/company/client then has enough information to intelligently deal with how it wishes to proceed.

I advise and suggest while the company does everything except figure out how to pay for it and decide whether its going to do it. I guess they think that stuff is proprietary and private. OK by me.

I'm a sort of combination resource-subject matter expert-adviser. The Project Manager (if we have one) and I are what's called 'client-facing.' This is a silly term for: we talk to the client/customer.

I usually go in with a Project Manager (if we have one) but much more importantly-- a really smart technical architect or Lead Developer. We grab as many Word Docs, Excel Spreadsheets and paper, passwords, user ids and network paths as we can.

Then we sift and read. I then draw what the company is doing now (called an As-Is Decomposition) and a proposal for automating one or more processes (called a To-Be Decomposition). The architect and I are beginning to design a possible solution. I start setting up interviews or meetings so I can ask questions and define the high level requirements. The architect is doing a parallel study for the technology (development languages and basic coding standards) and architecture (identifying the likely service layers and a beginning of the database table design). We constantly confirm and reconfirm the validity of the existing process and what the stakeholders tell us the business needs (business rules).

I write my functional (functional - that means a description of what it does, not how it does it) requirements, a few fancy pictures (remember I told you Technical Writers to always have one graphic in color in anything you write that's more than two pages? The company folks you're working with need as many diagrams and pictures as possible top help them sell the project- preferably in color). I usually add a couple of 'artist concept' wireframes of a basic interface and a lot of diagrams.

The architect is writing up his/her technical document. If it's going to be written in .Net, there's a lot of cutting and pasting from the Microsoft Development Network website onto our wiki- I never watched where the J2EE architects steal, sorry, borrow their documentation from but I assume its on the Sun site somewhere or maybe at SourceForge.net.

I then edit the technical document because I have yet to see a developer, even at Microsoft, who knows how to write. I'll also help here with any diagrams or flow charts the architect wants (which I 'suggest' forcefully, see the parenthesis two paragraphs up).

From these two documents (and maybe a Business Case), the company can count function points, bid the project or put everything on hold. Hopefully, the last option doesn't occur because I usually....no...always need the work.

For some unknown and mystical reason, my company gets the contract for the Functional Requirement Document I just wrote. every time. How do you like that? Amazing streak of good luck, no?

My new friend wanted a proposal in plain English. This sparked friendship. I hate lousy writing. But she wanted complete explanations. So I spent most of yesterday evening and this morning writing it. It was seven pages long. I thought I went overboard. But my original friend said I didn't so we'll see what happens.

I think the two color flowcharts and the lovely Activity Diagram will help, as will the seven PowerPoint slides with animation and reuse of the graphics.

I ain't no dummy.

Stay tuned. Let's see if the winning streak continues.

Is The Economy Heating Up?

2009-09-08T13:21:00.001-07:00

As I see the one year anniversary of my last paycheck coming up, I've begun to see more and more BA ads on LinkedIn, Dice and the others.

But the requirements remain huge, unrealistic and stiff as a board.

You still don't know what's important- especially for a couple of recruiters. The recruiters know exactly what the client wants, but doesn't put it in the listing (when did a job ad become a 'requirement?' and why didn't anyone ask me before marketing idiots destroyed another phrase?). I keep applying for jobs that appear to be spectacular matches...only to receive the same canned e-mail in return:

Boy, you look really good and thanks for the time and effort you put into it. Sadly, you're not qualified. I can't tell you why because I received over 200 resumes from people who want to be BAs. I'll give this to my secret...um....Administrative Assistant and archive it so if anything comes in that matches your basic and untidy "qualifications," I can give you a call.

In the meantime, if you use the link in this e-mail and drop $30 on a resume blasting scam, I stand to make $7.50, making that deluge of 200 resumes pretty profitable if I get a 10% return.

You can bet if that firm ever calls me, I'll be right there for it- bright eyed and bushy tailed.

A couple companies now have my resume. They SAY they have BA roles and I'm pretty hopeful. They're all contract and a year or less...but hey... I'd rather not actually make that one year anniversary. That would suck. Big time.

Taking Advantage of BAs Because They Can

2009-08-27T15:16:00.001-07:00

There are a lot of BAs who were working (and deserved) low six figure pay before Wall Street idiots did what they did. Most of us worked as consultants because that's where the cash was. Now we're seeing:

Ridiculous job requirements/software backgrounds in areas other than Health Care, Insurance and Financial- those I can understand- specialized domain knowledge. But database cleaners? Portals? (everyone seems to be moving to SharePoint and this seems to be a real big deal requiring years of experience with the tool- right- you're telling people who can create custom Portals with dozens of interfaces and multiple layers with extensive User Profile functionality doesn't directly relate? Balderdash)l E-Commerce or Basic Business Intelligence? Gimme a break.

10+ Years of Experience: Who are these people? There wasn't any such thing as an IT BA in 1999, the concept was just starting to spread with the use of requirements documents (Use Cases). BAs back then were what we tend to call Financial or 'Real' BAs today- the ones who can look at market data and prepare forecasts and other magic stuff accountants and actuaries do. But can they describe how their PC is supposed to connect and how the User is suppose to work the actuary engines?

Demand 6 months or less since the last job: I got a call from a recruiter yesterday- "Scot the job's a perfect fit with your background- what have you been doing since October 2008?" I said, "Looking for work." The recruiter said he was sorry, but the longest gap this company would accept is six months. I laughed, silently (yuh never know if the recruiter might do you some good later). I told him to tell the company I was researching and writing a book: How BAs Fit in the Agile Method. No dice. Well, Dice.com, but not for this job. I figure they lost a tremendous resource. Me.

Demanding Salary Requirements or Back Salary Levels: I used to make a lot of money- at least as far as most of Chicago's Companies are concerned. They want all the ridiculous requirements and pay $20-$30 per hour. Now, I know I'm going to have to take a salary hit, but these HR people are filtering people out for high pay because they think higher paid people will leave when the economy straightens out. Um, genius, why wouldn't you want a bargain between now and then? If it were me, I'd hire the person, knowing that as long as salaries were low, I was getting a bargain and work the bejesus out of me then shake hands like a mench at the end. Nope- they'll hire a lesser experienced or newly minted BA instead. Is it any wonder some of these companies are in trouble??? I put either $5/year in the field (freakin' developers made the fields number text since my last job search) or leave it blank if I can. Mebbe I can tell them I'd take $45/hour with a smile and a sigh of relief and you'd have a friend for life.

And the silly HR keyword searches, uploading resumes created in Word and the parser screwing every little thing up. I'm sorry the HR people are being inundated- but they are filtering out some great people with superb skills and extensive experience. 350 resumes for a single position? When I was looking for people I would have killed for those numbers so I could get the best person I could.

And the Hiring Managers? Please. Why would you search for a new resource without the gig budgeted and approved? Why are you asking me questions that have absolutely not relevance to what you said the job was all about on the phone? Manhole covers? Why are you wasting your time and mine? I had to pay cash money to come here and talk to you- money I don't have because I make all of $317 a week unemployment.

You can't blame all of this on the economy. A friend and fellow BA twittered this: Why are there so many idiots working and so many really good people looking for work?

The system's broke. We need to fix it.

BAs in Transition

2009-08-21T10:45:00.001-07:00

I feel like singing an old Bee Gees Song, I Started A Joke (which I can sorta do on my guitar). I wrote a blog about this sudden need for BAs to write Code. Before writing that Blog, I used to think requirements gathering and coding needed a Business Systems Analyst or Systems Analyst to do, and and far as I was concerned, those folks were worth the extra 10-20K a year.

I didn't realize this would raise so much thought in the LinkedIn Agile Allianc e Discussion board (the link won't work unless you're a LinkedIn Member and are in the Agile Alliance- which is full of really good and really smart people).

The discussion is great because it raises my visibility (and visibility may = potential job) and good for you who comment (same reason, but you can scratch and bite and kick and scream, but I have to be gentlemanly and kind. It hurts.). It may also elevate the state of the art, which is never bad.

But the drift I'm catching is one that's bugged me for three or four years: What does the BA do in an Agile Project? I think I started to answer that question in a Blog earlier this week titled BAs, in an Agile Project?

And there are two ancillary issue floating around the Agile Ether and I name them here:

The reason the BA role was created still applies. Even in Agile: translating jargon/goals and managing expectations by identifying, documenting and testing requirements and business rules.

There are two BA 'tracks' in IT- the Developer who wants the big bucks and become a Project/Product Manager (not realizing how little your actual hourly rate will be) and the Technical Writer Track- Writers who watched kiddie BAs grab fists of money. We said to ourselves, "I could do that." We read the Use Case Books, learned RUP/UML (artifact? gimme a break, how old do you really think I am?) and then read the XP, RAD and Agile books and talked amongst ourselves. Rhode Island isn't really a road and certainly isn't an Island (say Rhode Island out loud- it's an audio joke).

I don't think either BA background is better than the other- the Developer BA is more technically inclined and can handle Objects, Services and Web Applications better than the Tech Writer BAs. But the Tech Writer BAs have better business acumen (dunno why, but I think 'acumen' is a cool word), change management, client-facing and documentation skills. Both can abstract, both can write User Stories/Use Cases and other project documents (but the TW's documents will be more coherent, grammatical and prettier) and both can fill project voids as the SDLC runs its course.

The comments show that some folks have never had a BA on their team. That's a real shame because somebody still has to do all the things a BA does. Which usually means the Project Manager/Scrum Master (that ridiculous title- almost as stupid as my Six Sigma 'Green Belt-' these metaphors are sooooo silly) and or the Lead Developer have to do them. Which means a project is a Sprint rather than a Marathon and something is going to get short shrift. Kinda like my first bullet point? Some shops have come full circle.

I love Michael Duncan's comment that a waitress doesn't have to know how to cook- spot on Michael with a great analogy!

Do Business Analysts Need Computer Programmer Skills?

2009-08-20T10:14:00.001-07:00

I've been reading the How Do you Get Business Analysts Domain Experience blog series from IT Career Coach since it started. The first one was cogent, intelligent and pretty much in line with my own thoughts about being without work for so long.

The latest and final blog, Do Business Analysts Need Computer Programmer Skills? is almost on the money. IT Career Coach argues the IT Analyst does need to have programming skills because a. that's what the market is demanding and b. the BA role has "evolved" to include programming.

Balderdash. Ptoooi. Wrong.

In a properly run project, the BA and the Developer are going to be needing every second performing their respective roles. Otherwise, dear reader, the sprints will extend, the iteration will be late and the implementation team (probably composed of the developers and the BA and the PM and the Infrastructure Team....) will get the code late.

These ads IT Career Coach is referring to are a bid by companies to 1. lower development costs by lowering salaries, 2. adding as many domain and application requirements as possible so their HR scanners don't have to work so hard and 3. forcing us to guess what the real job requirements are.

Do I think the blog's thrust is wrong? No.

An IT BA needs to know programming logic to write abstract use cases, user stories and specifications, which often contain pseudo code. In other words, to talk to the developers, the BA needs to be able use and understand phrases like 'loop,' 'data layer,' 'IDE' and 'COM.'

The IT BA needs to keep up on .Net, J2EE, SAP, J.D. Edwards, Ruby on Rails, Ajax and other technologies' capabilities for design, specification and testing. In other words, the BA needs to know, at the abstract level, what the technology can do, other the BA can't design or specify, much less set up a functional description of what should happen.

By the same token, how many of your developers can talk to the business side without a. raising expectations, b. creating misunderstandings or c. not understanding that business pushes the project, not elegance or the 'gee whiz' factor?

That's why Agile projects demand high level, experienced folks in key positions...like Developer, BA, Project Manager, etc. In a small to medium sized project, this isn't an issue. But in larger or off shored projects, Agile isn't known for scaling. It can be done... but a few Waterfall and Iterative practices needs to be added to the Project's Governance and Process- with Agile's means of revising things that don't work into things that do.

I'm thinking of getting a couple of SAP certifications. Then I might be able to find a job.

programming, business analyst, IT, process

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BAs, in an Agile Project?

2009-08-18T11:46:00.001-07:00

Books, websites and consultants are telling us to move to some form of Agile- and, once the consultants get a hold of it, it's going to morph- which it has. Since when is Scrum a method? It's a meeting and project management tool. ARGH!

Now, the Agile Manifesto says two things that I've never seen:

Business People and Developers must work together daily throughout the project.
Face-to-face discussion is the best communication tool we have.

I've not seen this happen- have you?

Item: Business people seem to have overflowing plates and are too busy to allocate a fraction of time to a development project every day.
Item: We're lucky if we get a user to a demo or five minute play session in the sandbox environment much less regular face-to face meetings.
Item: When was the last time you saw a member of the business team actually write a User Story? A Specification? Comment on an existing Story or Spec? Thought so. The only good thing about a Waterfall Shop is the Stakeholder actually reads the Stories and Specifications. Badly, inaccurately, but they read 'em.
Item: And who's had the business team member actually empowered to make real decisions? Not in a consultant-client governance project and certainly not in an organization that is, necessarily, a waterfall shop moving to Agile.

Enter the Business Analyst:

...the guy or gal the Agile Book Writers either ignored, blew off on a simple process flow diagram or forgot existed. Bad move, Scrum Master/Project Manager/Team Lead.

If you really have top developers who can pull requirements from users, you still need the BA to introduce them, set up the meeting, attend the meeting to translate the jargon on both sides and provide a written record of what happened to eliminate the finger pointing later.

If you don't have top developers and are heading smaller teams with your best and brightest, who's getting your requirements? You're wasting time and resources if you grab the requirements in a demonstration or from comments/issues generated from your sandbox environment. Oh yeah- the stakeholders and the end users loose faith in your DevTeam because they didn't get it right the first time (Agile takes a while to settle into everyone's mind). Once you've lost faith, you've lost the project.

Scrum or Stand Up Meetings

I learned this system at Pathfinder Development under the tuteladge of CTO Dietrich Kappe.

We're assuming a two week sprint schedule here. The BA is working one sprint or iteration ahead of the current development work.

Each day, the team meets in a Scrum or Stand-up meeting. Only the DevTeam and Design Team participate. The Business Team provides support and listens for status changes. Each DevTeam member answers these three questions:

What did you do yesterday?
What problems did you face?
What are you going to do today?

The BA records the answers. The Project Manager and (to a lesser extent) the BA prepare an obstacles list and begin removing those obstacles.

Requirements Gathering

The first couple of days, the BA generates a proposed list of Features and Issues (Fixes) for a sprint. The BA gets preliminary approval from the business team, architect or lead developer and the project manager.

The BA then meets with Subject Matter Experts, end users and stakeholders to gather enough detail to write preliminary User Stories for the list. After they're written, the BA returns to make sure the stories and tests are accurate. Once the BA has preliminary approval, the BA writes a more detailed specification. It may include data maps, wireframes, interfaces, flow charts, step action tables- in short, everything the Developer should need to code the item.

The BA then presents the stories and specifications to the Stakeholder (to verify accuracy and need) and to the Architect/Lead Developer. This check helps the BA and the DevTeam Lead to:

Make certain each item is technically do-able.
Make a preliminary judgment on whether the item can be done within a single sprint or needs to be split into components.
Confirm dependencies.

Testing, Reading and Reviewing

The current sprint ends. The Agile Manifesto says Agile Projects are test-driven. The developer does the usual boundry and smash tests. Guess who does the Alpha testing? Me. I use the minimal tests in the User Stories to create scenario-driven Test Cases (and usually test scripts since 99 times out of 100 I'm going to add the script to User Acceptance Testing later). This is sort of the reason I usually handle issues management. We don't want the client/customer to see really ugly stuff.

One- three days are scheduled to allow the Developers to read the new User Stories and Specifications, ask questions and begin deciding how complex each item may be. The BA either answers the questions or properly routes them to the Business Team.

The entire team meets for a review session of the most recently completed sprint. The BA records Best Practices, Suggestions and Proposals for Change.

The Kick-Off Meeting

The new sprint starts with a Kick-Off Meeting. Each proposed Feature or Issue is brought to the table and the DevTeam can ask the Business Team or the BA questions. The DevTeam then assigns a complexity rating on each item. Ballpark hourly estimates are awarded to each complexity level and then everyone can see if all the items can be done in the time allocated. If it can, great, the developers start coding and the BA starts the next sprint's proposed list.

If not, the BA and the Project Manager negotiate with the Business Team about additions and deletions to the list. A proposed list is given to the DevTeam. If accepted, great, we're off. If rejected, we re-negotiate.

Change Management and Scope Creep

Any changes made or requested during the sprint has to go through this process, at least informally, because the DevTeam is responsible for each item on the list. Idf the business team wants something new, something old has to go off the list. If the DevTeam is having a problem with an item, after root cause determination and proposed mitigation planning, the Business Team needs to make a decision on continuing or stopping development on that item.

Demonstrations and Communication

I've worked mostly 'distributed' Agile projects. I was with the DevTeam in our offices and the client/customer was somewhere else with the Project Manager. This sort of made me Assistant-Associate-Deputy-Vice Project Manager, doing what the PM needed done.

Typically, if we had a test environment, I create an e-mail list of all appropriate folks to tell them a. what's been changed and b. what the user should expect.

If there was no test environment (usually very early in the project), one of the developers will run a demonstration and let the demo meeting attendees play with the software.

I got all the issues, suggestions and complaints. I loved this part since Agile allows us requirement gatherers to ignore the bane of all BAs, IAs and Project Managers: Hidden Requirements. There are non by definition since the end user is playing with the actual product. That means we can change on a dime and make UAT Test Cases and Scripting easy.

Governance

1. The project needs to support the business. Gee-Whiz Stuff can either be pushed into the backlog or eliminated.
2. The business controls the functionality, prioritization and resource allocation.
3. The DevTeam designs, adapts or creates new business processes, researches technology and presents code to the business.
4. The DevTeam Leadership describes expected or potential outcomes from a decision as well as providing the business with options and a recommendation. The business is responsible for the decision (see #2).
5. Like any other project type, software development is controlled by time, resources and scope. If anything changes within a sprint, a release or an implementation, the business makes the decision.

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Using a Wiki for Agile User Stories

2009-08-17T13:29:00.001-07:00

User Story: 2-3 line base definition of a feature with test(s) to tell the developer when the feature is complete. Each User Story has a unique number and is assigned to a sprint or iteration after the business-development team negotiation for a Kick-Off.

The Agile Books will tell you to put the User Stories on 4" x 6" cards with the tests on the back. This allows the developers and business team member to easily identify dependencies, move cards around for planning, carry the cards when a developer talks to an end user or stake holder and to throw them out when the sprint is complete.

This will work fine a small project for an organization that has some experience with Agile Development.
It will fail with a large project and an organization that is moving to Agile methods.
Then came wikis. You've used them (Wikipedia is the most famous example). The idea is to allow any one with access to edit or comment on anything in the wiki. And we had to figure out a way to put User Stories (written by the B.A. or Information Architect, not the Business Team Member assigned to the project) up on the wiki. And allow as much flexibility as using 4" x 6" index cards.

We used Confluence because it dovetailed so nicely with the issues tracker/project management application Jira.to As a consultant, I've dealt with more of the latter than the former. As per usual- someone said, 'Scot, take care of this.'

I don't know about other wikis, but I have to believe they're pretty much the same. Confluence allows administrators to create templates. Once created, wiki users can then simply bring up a new page and apply the template. Here;s what I included after looking at a brilliant Information Architect's (Alice Toth at Pathfinder Development) first draft, here's what I included in the template:

Project Abbreviation/User Story Number- if it's an issue, we added the Jira Link to this section.
User Story: (who does what and what happens as a result in 2-4 sentences
Workflow- as required, quickly documents where in an end user's work flow this occurs and simple error handling.
Business Rules- as required-rules the business imposes or needs for the User Story to work properly
Wireframe(s)- low to medium resolution wireframe as required
Test: Two column table- first column labeled Action, second column labeled Expect Result with 10 or so rows (can be added to or deleted from the table as required.
As for the flexibility for moving cards around? That's what the Sprint Page is for!

Next up: The Problems of Agile Adoption

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Coordinating a Sprint using a Wiki in an Agile Project

2009-08-11T11:47:00.001-07:00

Confluence is a wiki. It has rich text creation tools and a very simple html-like editor. It has rudimentary content management tools, allows RSS feeds and works very well in as an Agile Project Document creator, distributor and workflow handler. Atlassian also makes Jira, an issues tracker, project management tool that integrates with pretty much anything but works especially well with Confluence (obviously). Each has add-ins for customization (free and paid). And you get the source code. There may be other tools as good or better, but I've used these to great advantage.

This time we look at Confluence from a conventional BA's point of view.

You just lost control of all the documentation, my friend, the one thing you thought you should never do. This was the hardest thing for me to let go when I was learning the Agile mindset. Heavy with Waterfall and Iterative (RUP/UML) methods, the idea of other people actually laying hands on my stuff (it is a wiki, you know) was horrifying.

I should have relaxed. The original is always there and you can set the wiki to allow the author to approve or reject changes. And remember: Agile and its various offshoots recognize something. The application has to support the business and mounds of paper do not support the business. Instead, killing trees does three things: 1. Makes the discovery and requirements gathering phases way, way, way too long, 2. Allows higher-up muckety mucks to point fingers at each other at UAT, Implementation or Hand-Over time to ruin your project and 3. Pretty much waste time and energy because Use Case creation always misses the hidden requirements.

Hopefully, you'll have admin rights in Confluence. You'll set up two tracks for your project in Confluence- Technical and Functional. The Architect and Lead Developer start the Technical side with architecture, coding and developer standards. Later, Open Source Application docs, control packages, parsers, database schemas, web services, objects and other things are added by Developers.

You (and the Information Architect and the web master if you're lucky enough to have the help) use the Functional Side, creating the master Functional Requirements, Non Functional Requirements, User Stories (anyone really have an end user or stake holder actually write a story and associated test(s)? I thought not.) specifications (the other stuff User Stories left out that used to be in Use Cases but the Developers want more detail as they code). Here's whatcha do:

Create a single Sprint page for each Sprint. Include the following:

At the top:
Sprint Number
Date Started
Date Ending
Create a six column table (I used the cool Confluence status-style table with clickable status changes because a. I know the wiki code and b. I'm lazy so I just added columns to the auto-table maker) with these headings:
Feature Name or Issue ID Number as a link to the Confluence-held User Story or Issue Tracker source page
Description- VERY short description of the issue or feature
Documentation: Links to specifications and/or associated issues or technical/architecture pages
Assigned- this is whom the development team assigns to the work
Status- I used the two Confluence statuses which were basically Complete and Not Started. I know there's a way to use the Jira Status field to trip this but never had a chance to play with it and make it work. Since we were doing all the time estimates and Statuses (Jeez, between the two PMs on one project and the Visionary Client, did WE have statuses).
Trace- trace features to the Functional Requirements or Technical Architecture Documents you wrote or helped write during the Discovery Phase.
Add a predominant link to the burn chart (if you have one) either as a spreadsheet or one of the Confluence/Jira Add-In features.

Fill in the table with your proposed Sprint list of work and your team has instant access to the documentation they need to ask questions, determine if there's enough detail to work the feature/issue or if the BA/IA needs to better develop the documentation (and find out which questions the Developer needs answers), make preliminary complexity estimates and prepare for the kick-off with the client. Do the same with the client. Allow comments but no changes on these pages.

After the kick-off and the sprint work list negotiation, adjust the wiki list appropriately (and do NOT be offended if the DevTeam recreates it on large chart paper and hangs it up in your war room- it helps in focus and people love to cross stuff off a list). You'll probably end up keeping the Status column up to date, but it only takes a few seconds.

Now you have a single source for your DevTeam, the Business Team and the Design Team (You and whomever is is helping you) to access any documentation on the current sprint. And you can drop issues and features the client wants onto your next Sprint Page because you create that one now since you're a sprint ahead of the DevTeam, aren't you?

Next I'll talk about creating User Stories and Specifications in the wiki.

agile, user stories, wiki, sprint planning

Thursdays in Unemployment Land

2009-07-23T14:26:00.001-07:00

Well, folks, Thursdays are a lot like Fridays here at the Unemployment Dude Ranch.

Yes, there are a few new listings on Dice and CareerBuilders and I found several gigs in the Job Search Universe (highly recommended- it aggregates job postings from other sites and let's you slice and dice any way you want to see them.

Those of us who have used Dice.com for more than twenty minutes realizes all the jobs listed seem to magically renew themselves making 'View By Date' pretty much useless. Job Search Universe tracks all the Dice openings you're looking for and tells you how long it's been on Dice. Some of them have been up there for months.

If you're in a tabbed browser- the Job Search Universe seems to be the way to go. I go there right after I check the LinkedIn ( aggregation provided by SimplyHired) and Craig's List (yeah, but I found two cool jobs there- One at Pathfinder Associates and the other here in Naperville that was put on hold because of the economy.

Once that's done the only phone calls I get are from bill collectors and family. I'm thinking HR and Hiring Managers don't do anything except on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Methinks recruiters are pretty much 24/7 and take classes so you can't talk to them over the phone.

job, search, business analyst, employment

A Couple of Things That Stink on the Job Boards

2009-07-21T14:06:00.001-07:00

OK, I admit it. I'm on LinkedIn and yes, the Web Search function through Simply/Hired aggregation engine is helpful. Not as helpful as fresho.com or Google, but helpful.

What is not helpful is this silly little widget on the right side of my LinkedIn homepage that sucks me in every time:

I click it every damn time and get this:

Now, this could be helpful since Monster and Dice are about as forthcoming about search hits and who looked over your profile detail as LinkedIn. These services want you to pay cash for this detail. Anyone in IT will tell you that the audit trails on these searches cost about nothing. Which is pretty much what a guy like me, who hasn't worked in none months, can afford for this singular detail. What can I do with it?

Figure out how well my resume is doing since I already know which companies to which I've applied.
Figure out how well my generic cover letter is doing (stop. before you say it: Do you have any idea how many supposedly great companies are using boiler-plated job ads? At least my letter is truthful and an accurate representation of what I can do).
Anticipate a potential call from a recruiter.

JobFox provides this for free, along with e-mails telling you what the company won't- the job went to someone else or was removed from active consideration. I know- I was able to anticipate two calls that almost resulted in jobs...but JobFox' interface, data transfer speed and security need major upgrades to be useful to job hunters.

So Dice, Monster and LinkedIn-Simply/Hired force me into a guessing game (see my first post- I'm pretty good).

The Ex Libris is one or two of the people I used to work with at Crosscap Media- great people and they're probably checking up on me to see if I landed yet.
Someone in Government Relations in Sacramento, CA? This is probably some cube rat that works for Arnold and came this close to being nailed for surfing porn sites.
Recruiter at RusellPhillips? No clue. Don't know anyone there....and maybe I want to know someone there.
Someone in the Computer Industry? Gimme a break. It was a close friend who's also looking for work and we copy each other's best stuff for our own.
Someone in Executive Recruiting at Addison Search. This is a head scratcher. Addison had me up for a contract gig. They were nice smart and kind enough to tell me three days later the client was going with someone else (trust me most recruiters won't do this in some sort of oddball way of 'holding' you'). So why they're still looking at my profile is beyond me...but at least someone's looking
Is this worth $20-$60 to me? I don't even bite on those Classmates.com flags. But for some reason...these three sites are able to get me to click through everytime even though I know I'm not going to like it.

What was that old saw about repeating a failed behavior?

finding a job, job boards, click through, search hits

So What Do You Do For a Living?

2009-07-21T11:46:00.001-07:00

I've been getting this question a lot recently- from friends, high school buddies and my mother. It comes in various forms:

What is it you do again?
I'm not sure what you do but it sounds really dull.
I thought you were a radio news guy.
I thought you were a Folk Music D.J. who hated Bluegrass Music.
Well, yeah, I was the last two things, but I haven't earned any money from either for about 15 years now.

Now I'm a Business Analyst.

Originally, Business Analysts analyzed economic trends, corporate maneuvers- bottom line sorta stuff with the bean counters in Finance.

About 20 years ago, computer people started realizing that all the cool stuff they were making either wasn't being used, was costing too much or didn't do what the business people thought the computer people told them it was going to do.

Think about the first time you moved from your first word processor to a new one. Remember how painful that was? Now think of that pain in terms of gobs of cash...yeah...that's what BAs were supposed to prevent.

So the first thing BAs do is make sure the computer people know what the business people said. And make sure the business people know what the computer people meant.

I usually say it this way: I make sure the propeller heads know what the suits said and vice-versa.

A close friend tells me potential employers may see this, so I'm not going to explain it the way I usually do.

Then a couple of guys said, "Let there be Requirements in the form of Use Cases and Business Rules."

And Project Managers saw it was good.

Use Cases and Business Rules are a way the business folks and the technical people can agree that this is what the thing is going to do, who's going to do it and how the heck do you figure out the Canadian Sales Taxes? Short simple sentences in active voice and a lot of step-action tables that nobody reads. Everybody looks at the color VISIO charts and ignores the data maps, development tests and other stuff that make everything work.

But the Project Managers didn't want to write them because they were way too busy trying to figure out this new Microsoft Project Server deal and why it won't show them dependencies (Scot has to do A before he can do B) in the color Gannt Charts?

So the BAs write them.

So, what we got now is translation duties and ownership of the documentation (at least all the docs now spell you're and it's correctly).

Then, ten other guys met on a mountain top somewhere East of Eden and came down with the Agile Manifesto (sounds like the Cold War started up again and the ten guys should have beards and be smoking Cuban cigars, doesn't it?).

The Manifesto says no documentation unless it's really, really, really necessary- Thou were filling up mine network shares with Word Documents no one read except for the embedded VISIO charts. So we BAs lost the documentation thing in favor of having developers actually talk to end users and stake holders. Clients or Subject Matter Experts or Stakeholders will write 2-3 sentence 'User Stories' and talk to the developer as the developer creates real code. Un-hunh. You ten cigar smokers think this is really going to happen, doncha?

Whoa, thar, big boy. You want a young person just out of C++ and/or Java School to talk to the senior managers and end-users about features? Without blood?

The high level lead and architects can and should be doing this...but what does a 23 year old know finding out how a 55 year veteran of the company does his job...with the knowledge that the new computer system will automate and thereby eliminate his job?

Scot? Can you grab those requirements for me?

And since the Manifesto says we do test-driven development and the client's way too busy, can you write up the technical specifications and the tests for us?

Oh, I forgot, since I'm only here two days a week for this project, can you prioritize the issues and features for me? We can plan a proposed list for the client next week.....

Add Alpha/Beta testing, setting up User Acceptance Testing (writing scripts for a lot of users to bang away on the system to find flaws), collating the results, mentoring junior BAs, helping Information Architects....you getting the picture?

That's why it's kind of hard to explain what I do.

I love doing it. I'm good at doing it. But nobody's been willing to pay me to do it since last October. Some company's going to get a bargain and I'm going to love them for it.

business analyst, requirements, agile

The Surrealistic Job Hunt

2009-07-20T13:00:00.000-07:00
I'm an IT Business Analyst. I help design document test and manage projects to support a business and (hopefully) allow end users to be more productive.

I haven't worked since last October when my company wasn't paid by a larger company and my company had to lay off some really really good people. Like me.

1. A Friend Tries to Help

While in the hospital on a Friday, I get a phone call from a body shop (recruiting agency) asking me to call right back. Seems a close friend set me up for a 60 day temp job with a great rate (for Business Analysts right now anything over $25 is a good rate). My friend knows I'm looking so I can interview and make up the time as I'm able (if I'm able).

I leave a message at around 5:10.

Now, I've only talked to the Body Shop. But my friend's name is a magic phrase. So I pretend I know exactly what's going on. As my wife I'm really good at this- especially with people who don't know me. I was in the hospital talking to a doctor about ten years ago when she came into the room and started laughing. The doctor asked her was was so funny "He doesn't understand a single thing you said Doctor." She was right. But the drugs were really good.

Anyway, as Body Shop Lady requests, I call my friend. My friend tells me about the gig and it should be a lot of fun, but there won't be any long term possibilities. No problem. Some cash is better than no cash. I wait in the hospital with the doc swearing up and down he'll be there by 8:30 to check me out by 9am.

Who was I kidding?

Monday. The body shop as you'd expect calls an hour and a half early. I've got the job (like there was any doubt on this one? My friend was hiring. One problem, Scot our servers are down right now so I can't e-mail the forms. No problem- when you can get them to me will be fine.

Just as I'm leaving the hospital the Body Shop Lady calls again. She's going home so she can e-mail me the forms. Thank you very much, I appreciate the trouble you're going to for this....but I could simply stop in and see you today or tomorrow- you're only about 15 minutes from my house. No problem Scot, I had to go home anyway- the servers are still down. I begin to think that maybe something's going on since these servers directly impact the business. Well it's not my problem.

And it wasn't until I got home.

The Body Shop Lady calls again

Seems my friend read the Body Shop's account manager (he or she is the one that hands out ID Badge belt-holders and tee shirts) the Riot Act and we're sorry Scot but you lost the job. Big Company hired someone else.

WTF?

I call my friend- ask her if it's OK to talk. She says yes. Seems the Body Shop had to get my stuff into the Big Company System on Friday or I wouldn't get the gig. The Body Shop was told exactly how and when and why they were doing it. And the Account Manager blew it because my friend's colleague was getting her person in the job and my friend did not get me in.

Understand that the Body Shop would be making $15-20 for doing one thing correctly. This would total, conservatively, around $5,0000 for getting simple paperwork into a system on time. Needless to say, my friend will never ever use these idiots again.

I am remembering something.

My friend used this body shop several years ago when she hired me for a longer term contract gig. The Body Shop jeopardized my contract at the beginning of that contract, too...and didn't do squat when the contract ended. I am not impressed with them.

Music Practice is Wednesday. My friend is our mandolin player, harmony and torch song singer. I can wait to hear the whole story then. Really wanted that cash though. Oh well.

2. The Firm

I had two interviews with a large firm. The first one was with the HR Manager- very smart woman- she set up the second interview third week of June. The group interview went very well I thought. In fact, I heard from unnamed sources that I would make the final interview with the IT team.

The HR Manager called this morning and left a message about 'feedback.'

This is the new 21rst Century Newspeak (thank you Eric/George Orwell) code word for 'you're not getting the job and this is the most polite and non-threatening way we can tell you without you suing us, you old fart, you.'

Yuh see, friends and neighbors, 13 years ago I moved into a protected class of workers: Old Farts. I was a young Old Fart back then- 40 years old and my body only starting to turn to sh...er...ah...crap. It never made any difference to me, but Mandatory Retirement and excessive cost cutting of the most expensive (read: valuable) workers forced Congressional hands a few years back. Essentially, this is what The Chicago Lakeview IT Boutique Development firm that doesn'tknowwhatitdoesorhowitdoesit did when it dumped two BAs (including yours truly), an IA, a developer and a receptionist to cut costs (dumping all the work on three Project Managers) when it lost two major contracts.

I had been waving red flags on one of the contracts for about six months- but the company left a sales person (and a really good sales person, but a really bad PM who never understood the methods we were using)as the project manager. This forced Your Author to assume those duties without any authority. This resulted in my first visit to Edward Hospital for arterial fibrillation (OK a gazillion pounds overweight and not watching my blood sugars had a little bit to do with it). Ultimately a good thing- dropped 60 pounds eliminated sleep apnea and controls the a-fib for about a year. But I also had to start working the first day home from the three week hospital stay- at least it was working from home.

I was counting on the firm- everyone was cool, smart and focused. And I figured the money would be close to right. And I'd be creating the BA consultancy (for which I have some experience).

Scot, the HR Manager told me while I was in Dunkin' Donuts feeding my youngest with the most unhealthy dreck imaginable, the team loved you. I loved you, Your references were so complimentary we thought you walked on water, gave out free bread and fishes (OK, I'm exaggerating... but it's still funny). We had a great fit. (here it comes:) But we had another applicant with firm experience- not required, but very helpful. We decided to go in that direction.

(click)
(BOOM!)

However, she continued, we have another role called a PMO Analyst.

For the unwashed multitudes...and trust me...I had no idea what this meant either until I worked at SBC a/k/a A.T.&T for a month- a PMO is a Project Management Office.

It sends out little automatons with the words Project Manager, Business Analyst or Information Architect on their windbreakers (like FBI, Security, ATF, etc.).

These people know the hoops (or 'gates') each project has to go through to get a. funded b. completed and c. connected to the all mighty network. I know this stuff because I am a Six Sigma Green Belt as well as an ISO-9002 Certified Auditor (You can too- the Six Sigma Thing is cool but an ISO-9000 Auditor? 4-6 hours of training and you get an 8 1/2 x 11 suitable for framing certificate and still another line on your resume). And I know what T-L-A means (ready? it means Three Letter Abbreviation, I tell yuh anyone can do my job).

One of my former Project Managers told me recently that he's very impressed how well I kept my cool when some 20 or 30 something without a clue opens his or her mouth to confirm what we thought before: Simple muscle twitches- brain is dead.

I told him it's easy. You keep saying to yourself: "the checks don't bounce, the checks don't bounce" while they're talking. Then you simply smile and nod and say- that's a great idea and we can do that for you...but maybe you might want to run the numbers again. Our current development team has features and fixes the teams wanted done for the next 87 or 88 years. Now, I can work up some strategies for you that will close this project before the Second Coming but it'll cost you a lot more since we'd have to quadruple the Development Team. Your Call.

And because I spent 12 years at Motorola one summer as a Technical Writer, I know exactly what will happen, but THEY make the decision and I just run around like a dog chasing her tail.

* In a large organization, a PMO allegedly standardizes IT processes, provides Project Managers, Business Analysts and others into projects even the business team can't describe. These people know the 'methodology' and gates (a/k/a M-Gates at Motorola since it invented the term). Between you, me and the fence post, It takes about ten minutes to explain it, so this isn't rocket science.
* In a small organization-a PMO is typically a couple of Word Doc reports sitting on a network share or on a wiki which hasn't been touched for at least 11 months. It may also include several organization charts (Revealed Technical Secrete: at least two charts have to be in color, otherwise a manager doesn't know how to read it. Seriously. I know this because I used to be a Technical Writer) and somebody screaming 'We've got to get organized so we can replicate the one good project we did in ought two!' The PMs, BAs and IAs pretty much do whatever the team needs. In the world of consulting, we call this the 'Agile Method.'

Gosh, I'm a clever writer.

Anyway.

There's no such thing as a 'PMO Analyst,' so I'm thinking it's a BA that works out of the PMO. Like a snowplow works out of the Township Garage. Like the skirted robots at Allstate or the black shirts at SBC or the mostly batshit crazy people from a St. Charles-based 'marketing' firm who are really Project or Program Managers but don't get the money the title would dictate.

I asked a coupla of quick questions and it turns out, I'm right.

Let me let you in on another secret. I have an 85% to 95% accuracy rating on my guesses. This is the real reason I used to make a lot of money and why I'm having trouble finding another job (I mean other than the Age thing).

I'm not smart and Peggy (my wife the developer) runs circles around me technically.

I just guess really well.

I've built two entire careers on this quirk: radio news and technical writing/business analysis. Don't tell anyone.

The HR Manager expects the gig to be approved in a week or two...and she wants to make sure the money's good. She really wants me to work for them. And I really want to work for them.

OK, let's be honest. I wanna work for anyone.

So it would be cool if it happens but I'm not waiting to see- back to the job boards.

OK rant over and hiding behind humor/satire is over. Have a nice weekend.