Agile isn't Agile Anymore: It's Just a Buzzword Now

A project manager recently brought me into a short term, major project. The PM wanted the team to use a process and she wanted to use some form of Agile. Which I think was the reason I got the contract.

We discussed the form of Agile she wanted to do and I devised and VISOed (yeah, that's a word now) the process in short, simple steps.

The Devs were all over it. Loving the fact there would be honest-to-gosh written requirements.

So the first week I had the audacity of talking to a developer for all of 15 minutes getting a baaseline on a particularly clumsy feature.

I was told not to talk to the developers because the time zoomed up to two hours and this was "non-productive" time.

I asked a question in one of the meetings with a business stakeholder. This resulted in me no longer having direct access to the business.

Each kick-off had the devs reading the user stories for the upcoming sprint during the  kick-off. Since I didn't have any real contact with anyone other than the PM, my ardent request for the dev team to take a half day to read the user stories and funnel in the questions and suggestions to me for correction or change never happened.

The stand-up meetings often had developers working out problems making the call 30-45 minutes long. Yes, I told them to tell the rest of use what they did the day before, what they were going to do today and describe any obstacle. No minutes, no punch list, no accountability until the kick-off of the next sprint.

We did exactly one retrospective. SO there was no process improvement.

Had I been able to talk to the developers, Epics would have been identified before they reached the Proposed Features List for the next sprint. As a result, there were 8 user stories that spanned not one, not two, but three or more sprints. This made the burn-down chart an idiotic tool of no use. Yes, I posted it to the wiki Sprint Page anyway.

There was no 'alpha' testing after a feature was completed because I didn't have access to the latest build. The code was supposed to be integrated and regression tested for each build (.Net environment using JQuery) for the supported browsers, but we got feedback that some features didn't work in IE (all of us appeared to use Firefox and only Firefox except for the designer who wasn't testing.

The outsourced UAT Team (none of whom I was able to speak to) was supposed to take the user stories and test each Acceptance Criteria (user story test),

Who's on Your Team?

English: Lima Lima Flight team performing at Thunder over Louisville. Thunder opens a two week celebration which ends with the Kentucky Derby, on the first Saturday in May. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Friend of the Blog, Team Clock, issued an interesting challenge at Team Clock. Go ahead. Read it. I'll wait here.

Done? Cool.

OK, here's my take.

What Team Clock proposes in this exercise is exactly, I mean exactly the same exercise I did when I was writing several versions of a news story. Back in the day.

I told beginning reporters to grab a piece of paper and put the slug (title) in the center of the paper inside a circle. If the story was a win/lose I told the reporter to put all the winners on one side of the paper and all the losers on the other. Neutrals go underneath.

For a preview or non-confrontation (yes, I wrote a lot of non-confrontational stories back when News was News and listeners weren't thumping their chests) I told the reporter to just write down all the roles, titles, organizations and sorts of people directly and indirectly affected by a story (notice that Fox News and the Chicago Tribune?  the difference between affect and effect as a verb?).

When the simple exercise  was complete, I looked directly into the cub reporter's eyes and said, and I'm quoting here, "Now you have absolutely no excuse - you should be able to come up with at least six leads for each story, all you need to do is write the first sentence from the perspective of one of your circles."

I do this today when I'm researching or planning a project. Knowing the players, the relationships (well, at least the outward relationships) and the org. chart are big helps when writing Risk and Risk Mitigation Plans, emailing lists (the execs get the red-yellow-green light summaries, the managers get the executive summary and the team members all get access to the full report (it's on the wiki)  It helps manage expectations (the sales department wants an all purple and red motif to generate interest, marketing wants the company colors [Black and White], program management wants to be able to re-skin it to any color they want- backgrounds, text, font, everything and the department manager and project manager want it all- within the deadline and under budget.

Competing and dynamic interests that all need to be addressed and satisfied.

Then you know who's on your team.
 Related articles

• Team Clock

No Freaking Wonder Health Care Costs are Sky High

Item: Shoes without internal seams needed for my big ass feet. My feet hurt.

Go to Podiatrist (nice guy), says I need diabetic shoes.

Go to an orthopedist on my plan.

Diabetic Shoes at Orthopedist: $200.00 for Shoes, $200 each for 'orthodontics.' $800.

Orthodontics? $200 and I need 3 sets? Why?

"Because they wear out." Duh, but OK, I've worn my $100 chiropractor-fitted orthodontics for about five years now and the glue holding the spongy-junk on top is disconnecting with the leather bottom.

These $200 shoes are wide enough, right? "Yes."

Wait two weeks (!)

The orthodontics are 1/4" flat pads.

I look questioningly at the orthopedist, "they'll shape with your foot."
I explain to this health care 'professional,' this is not an orthodontic. You didn't taker a cast of my feet while I was standing, they're not blue, they're not about  1/2" thick rubber-link material for cushioning.

These are 1/10th inch felt. If I wanted them to mold to my foot, I'd buy clay. I want something that'll help my posture and my aching back.

"They are what they are, Mr. Witt."


If I hear that stupid line one more time....
The shoes are too narrow.They're rubbing against my outer toes,

"We got you the widest they make."

I told you three times I have really wide feet.

"We can put them on the widening machine."

Hold it.

I saw that episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show, you're going to use a broom.

"No, it's a real machine."

Lemme see it.

"Sorry, insurance won't cover you in the machine room."

Yeah. Right. All right. Give it try. OK.

 (Ten minutes pass to the second).

I try them on again.

They're still rubbing my left foot.

My left foot has been almost totally numb for more than a year. This is one reason I want good shoes.

Some vertical bra is pushing on a emphatic node in my back, squeezing the nervous system until it bleeds nerves. Or something...

So my bad foot feels like the shoe doesn't fit. They're $200 shoes...$300 if you count the fancy felt lining.

Right. Send the $800 shoes back.

"We already billed and received the claim from your insurance."

Then send them a refund.

I had to call Blue Cross because those thieves actually made the claim before I got the shoes and that company's claim was already posted to my account. It felt like going to the neurologist. I felt he was more interested in my co-pay than in my back and neuropathy.

  Figure 1a: You thought I was kidding, didnja?

Yeah. Kinda like going to a chiropractor- when you call for an appointment no a days, they want your VISA number before they'll even set up an appointment.
I am sooooo glad there's a new university out my way making more of these people.

Palmer method my ass.

Well, we could write these things off as bad egg, but I needed a new strap for my Sleep Mask.

I went in, showed the receptionist the strap.

It only fits only one style of A-PAP/C-PAP mask. Sleep Apnea machine stuff. It works.

The mask keeps slipping off even when the strap worked.

She typed for 45 minutes.

I use a keyboard all day. Never for that length of time. Never stopped for a breath.

I said, Really? for a $5 strap?

"I was billing your insurance."

But I haven't bought anything yet.

"Oh, you're self-paying?"

I suppose you can call it that.

In olden days we called it retail commerce.

I give you money and you give me what I picked out.

(ten more minutes of typing).

"That'll be $38.12, please."

How much?

"$38.12"

Really?

"That's what the computer says."

No, really, this is only two cut bands of elastic cut in a V with velcro ends.

"Yes, Mr. Witt, I know. That'll be $38.12"

Thanks, but no thanks.

The reason they can get away with this crap is because someone else is paying the freight. And because someone else is paying for it, no one gets indignant, combative or huffy or outraged (like me). Our third party payers threw in the towel years ago.

It's not like I was buying syringes or, forgive me, alcohol wipes. The mail order pharmacy charges $10/box. I found them this morning at Walgreen's for $2.67. Why dies it cost $10 for alcohol-soaked paper in tin foil?
So, I'm going to ask my wife to sew two pieces of elastic together and plop Velcro on the ends.

I bought the Walgreen's wipes because I'm too lazy to find the cotton puffballs and the alcohol bottle ion the linen closet.

And I found seamless shoes at SAS for $525 less than the price at the orthopedist. They were made in San Antonio by Americans. And they fit.  And I didn't pay extra for the Velcro.
www.sasshoes.com.

This is my second pair...the first pair bit the dust about a year ago. Nine years after I bought 'em. They are the most comfortable shoes made...and they can fit most anyone.
Is it any wonder we needed health care reform? Or that so many people can't afford it because if these silly prices.
Bah. Humbug.

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• Feet
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CBAP and Me: Why I'll Have to be Dragged Kicking and Screaming to Study for that Test

It must be me. Companies are all piling on and requiring CBAP (Certified Business Analyst Professional), offered by the IIBA (International Institute of Business Analysis). Check this out: IIBA CBAP Stuff.

Excellent work (I surmise it's from the IIBA BOK or Body of Knowledge) and an interesting summary of requirements gathering.

See, this is why I didn't take the PMI (Project Management Institute) test for PMP (Project Management Professional) . After going through the boot camp and finding out what that test was really all about, I didn't say no, I said Hell No.

That test is a measure of how much you can memorize about processes and procedures you wouldn't use on a project in a million years. Yes, having a methodology is a good thing since it can be the backbone of projects you come into cold. But more often, the PMs I see using the PMBOK (Project Management Body of Knowledge) are much more concerned about keeping their Microsoft project plan nice and neat and pretty much leaves the real work to the project team.

Obviously there are exceptions and there are some really dynamic PMs around.

So I looked over the CBAP requirements.

Modeled on PMI. It takes about three days just to finish the application.

So I really have to wonder if memorizing really tells your client or your end user that you are an effective and ethical BA. Wouldn't previous folks with which I've worked be a better read on how well I do my job?

Is this CBAP stuff going to help me create a gaps analysis? Vision Statement, Statement of Work, Status Report?

Will it certify I can help a developer on a spike/sprite and research quickly and efficiently?

And what will a CBAP certificate on my desk (we don't have walls or cubes) certify I can write an acceptance criteria on a User Story? Identify controls with the UxD expert? Model Workflows? Group the workflows into scenarios with the designer? Setting up a a one to one mapping of my Actors to her Personnas?
And, oh yeah, I'm hearing these certificates are now good for Agile methods.

I think mentoring folks who want to become BAs is a better idea. Have them, I dunno, research and write some use cases? Listen to how they question end users and stakeholders- create questionaires- create a risk or a couple of communications plans. During the project are they quickly and efficiently revising the artifacts?  Are they doing sanity checks against the end user and business requirements?

So instead of memorizing, I'll learn what my client needs, how the end users will use the software, run JAD (Joint Application Design) meetings and work with the UxD expert to figure out how we're going to meet the stakeholder's requirements in the best way for end users.

In Agile, everyone on the team can and do help out where ever they can. I'll do that and help let the Devs develop.

I think that kind of study time is well spent.

Agile in a Regulated Environment

Now, I don't know what happened when the Initiation phase was done a year ago this month, but I know what I've been doing since October on this project for a healthcare hardware maker.

It's been a while since I was exposed to FDA and HealthCanada and European Common Market regulation- and even then, it was a glancing blow- for medical gases- pretty straight forward.

With testing equipment, the load's a lot different.

The Agile Principal:

"The most efficient and effective method of
conveying information to and within a development
team is face-to-face conversation."

Is pretty much thrown out the window. Like Waterfall, paper seems to be king.

So we adapted. We put all the User Stories, comments, hazard analysis and developer notes on database changeson our wiki. A junior team member goes up to the wiki, picks a User Story, then uses  a <ctrl><a> and <ctrl><c> to save it in the clipboard then<,ctrl><v> to push it to a  Word template, clean it up and then go back for all those nice pictures the devs and managers like (because they never read the tests- sorry- Acceptance Criteria; actually, we have one dev who really reads the stories- shocked the bejesus out of me). Curse me for making Work Flow Diagrams!

Then, we add the title to a spreadsheet template with 6 to 12 bazillion acceptance signatures. Seriously. Signatures. And we get 'em, too! Then save 'em, batch print them to annoy non-project staff.

Add a test case result sheet from the QA guys (who are the only others who actually read the stories- sorry, this a class project; there's someone else who actually reads the stories, we have an actual tech writer stealing hours from my time card), a paper clip and then it gets scanned into some other application that actually freezes the User Story's state and requires an Act of Congress for a change.

This also scares me. I don't spell that well, my grammar's off sometimes when I forget 7th grade sentence parceing and I forget stuff when I'm getting whipsawed while writing a story-editing the one from last month the to which the QA team got (how's that fer grammar, eh?)-seeing my product owner making the mistake of walking by so I can grab him for just a few questions- redoing what the QA wanted me to do because he called me on a quick change instead a comlete job- and a dev asking me questions about a story written a month ago.

So, you're likely to see a few numbering, um, issues and a single word from a previous requirement I forgot to delete. My editor, who happens to be the Risk Analyst and the fellow that wrote the original version of this software, just caught two more of my , er, issues.

So the big changes the team had to make are:

• Realize we have throwback to the Waterfall/Iterative demand that 'Documentation is King.'  We created a process that isn't too heinous, but keeps the stories short, to the point and on the wiki as the primary story keeper while meeting our customer's documentation requirements.
• Sign-offs are not a simple head nod in this environment. In fact, sign-offs are worse than Waterfall.
• When you do the sign-offs after implementation (and after the head nod), it becomes a paperwork process you can hand off to a junior level team member so it doesn't get in the way.
• HIPPA, Good Manufacturing Practice. The Regulatory Guy (Gal) is the king after you meet the business needs.
• Scot needs a remedial English Course. You don't gotta know how to spell in radio.