Agile Shop Feh.

Allstate started terminating many of its contractors a couple of weeks before I bailed in February. The permanent gig thing came very close, only as a result my close friend and boss pushing and shoving masterfully but no one coughed up the cash.

If I told you I can virtually guarantee you a very conservative and documented  gazillion dollars savings per year- would you spend, say, two million?

Me, too.

We suspect there were two reasons none of the executives stepped up to the plate: 1. We weren't visible or showy (we were inundated with work) and 2. Many of those C-Level folks thought they already had Knowledge Management. They don't. They have a template vault and a couple of small databases with really cool names but little functionality. Oh well, it's a shame and would have been a boatload of fun. I hope it changes.

So, my cushy gig at Allstate is about ready to go bye-bye. I revise the old resume and start sending it out. A development shop downtown, using Agile methods, is looking for BAs. Senior BAs. It took about two days for me to find them and them to call me. We did three phone interviews (never, ever again) and I took the job.

I think this one was a record for me: it lasted five and one half hours. They seemed nice when i got there. I was huffing and puffing from the block long walk from Union Station. Being fat and out of shape is a bitch, especially if your knees start doing the funny things mine are.

The deal is, the team donates Thursday and Friday hours learning a new testing tool and we start work and start getting paid on Monday. While this sounded really strange to me (why doncha pay? it's just our policy, whaa? it costs me money to show up, yuh know)

The 'Scrum Master hands me a new Mac in a box like it's a big deal. I gulped and asked if we were doing the project in J2EE? No. Open Source (me: hunh?) Well, um, I probably should be using the same sort of machine the customer is using without having to relearn all that Mac stuff and virtually windowing it in a real hurry and I hate those single mouse buttons- is there a Windows Machine lying around? Strike One.

Scot, do you want Indian food for lunch? No, thanks, I brought my own lunch. Doncha like Indian Food? Um, not really- at least the things I've tried so far. Well the team has voted for Indian food (Mentally slapping my forehead with the palm of my hand, yuh think?). I just smile.  Strike Two.

Now, I'm donating time to learn this really cool plain language tool that creates boundary, functional and regression testing. It's so cool, the developers don't code a thing until the tests are done.

Guess who writes the tests?

Yeah. The BAs.

Only as we go along, I find the 'plain language' is, once again, nothing but pseudo code which needs to be tweaked by the system master. And the phrase mapping makes little sense to me. I look around, I'm the only person on this team who would prefer to use plain language rather than use a glossary/dictionary in creating tests? Yup. Strike Three.

We get held over an extra half hour. I lose the chance to grab an express. The next train's at 6:40. I'm having a diabetic reaction as I huff and puff and rest...huff and puff and get to the station. Let's see....butter rum lifesavers.  I pop 3 in my mouth and look around for a Pepsi.

I have about 30 seconds left in my cell battery, but the wife will pick me up. It's 7:35 in the evening.

I get home, shower and the wife hands me the phone as I crawl down the stairs.

"Scot?" Yeah.
"I left you a message." Sorry, Just got home.
"I've been home for a couple of hours." Oh (I think, 'that's because you live in Northbrook, asshole,. a totally different train line for rich people.' You'd be proud of me, I didn't say one word out loud).
'We're going to have to let you go.' Hunh?
"Yeah, your interpersonal skills and team building abilities weren't what we expected."And you're not going to give me a chance to adapt to your culture, is that it (and you could tell this after only five and a half hours)?
"No, sorry mate." OK. I hang up. I am very, very, very glad.

Wasn't meant to be. I just wish they'd paid me for the humiliating exercise and stopped me before I paid for a month's Metra pass. I can still use the new clothes.

Now, normally, I'd be crawling the walls with worry. Not this time for some reason.

I e-mailed my select network folks. It works right away. A former manager (you starting to see a trend here?) grabbed a peer and lied about me so well, I think the manager with the opening thought i should have a halo or something. Pro-forma interview and we're already talking about the first few projects. It's a five week contract, but she also has a permanent slot. Was I interested in that? Well, put your tongue back in your mouth and we'll talk after a month or so.

I took the job.

It's fun- so much so that if my former boss is successful and creates a f/t perm role, I'm going to have a really tough decision to make.

Friends. It's all about friends and relationships. I feel like I'm a Boy Scout again. Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful (OK, I'm still working on this one),  Thrifty (my wife thinks I'm working on this one), Brave (I have driven to and from Northbrook and Hoffman Estates for many days sand lived to tell the tale), Clean and Reverent (OK, you're right, this last one's problematic, but I try to keep it to myself as much as can by biting my tongue).

Didn't think I'd remember that boy scout stuff, didja? Didn't even use Wikipedia to look it up. Scout's Honor.

Economy Getting Better?

In my case, absolutely.

Last time out looking for work took 22 months.

Since Allstate is allegedly getting rid of hundreds of contractors by the end of this month, I got out. It took three days to find a job in an Agile Shop.

They were horrible communicators so our joint venture lasted exactly five point five hours. What that means, boys and girls, is just because they say they're Agile, it doesn't mean they're nice or understand anything other than team dynamics. Kids, it also means just because you have the title doesn't mean you're first amongst equals. Of course the converse is also true- don't through your weight around.

Funny how much you learn in five and half hours, isn't it?

So going back to Allstate was out (real shame- loved working with those folks and the projects were exciting if not being choked to death by internal politics), better reopen the Monster, Dice and CareerBuilder accounts.

All of a sudden, a 55 year old experienced BA is in demand. in long projects, short projects and permanent full time gigs.

Most of the idiot recruiters seem to have been squeezed out of the market. And I found if you just hang up on people who refuse to leave the script or I have ask "what did you say?" more than three times, you have a fine time.

Is it because you were closer to a job than you used to be which my most immediate past boss maintains?

Partly- people do treat you differently if you have a job. But with 25 million colleagues looking for work through no fault of their own, I'd  hate to think employers are going to be so callous. My time spent in Labor Economics 485 suggests this won't be the case- the supply-demand curve is going to change (and aI hope significantly) over the next weeks.

Am I lucky? I thank that's good portion of it- as the comedian s say 'timing!' companies are starting to gear up and move new development. Which has some real impact for us BAs`, QAs (Quality Assurance professionals- Inspector Number 11 that okayed your underpants for sale), IAs (Information Architects- what BAs write (design and requirements stuff), IAs draw), Change Managers (trainers, implementation architects, Internet Domain experts and engineers).

I'm just hoping it's not a fluke.

And it feels good to be part of Sears' IT again. Good people.